You Can Learn a lot from a Pizza Shop - City School

A few weeks ago, Gee suggested that we go on a field trip at City School to the local pizza store.  A few kids showed interest and so we went about planning our first field trip. I didn’t realize it would be an exercise in deschooling for me!

An adult question was posed - “do you want to learn how to make pizza?” Gee responded with a tone that was equivalent to an eye-roll. “No. We are just going because it will be fun.  Most people like pizza so we will just get to go together and enjoy a pizza together.”

I volunteered to assist Gee in planning the trip. He wasn’t sure where to start or that any planning would need to be done in advance.  I said, we would probably need to ask the parents’ permission and that kids who wanted to go would need to ask for money.  Gee said, “Oh forget it then.  I don’t want anyone to have to hear the words no when they ask for money.  Do you know how it feels to have to ask for money to do things you want to do? And then to hear the words no all the time?”  We then had an interesting discussion about how kids don’t have the same access to money and the economy that adults have.  There are fewer ways for kids to earn money, they often need adult assistance to make that happen, and their sources of income also come from adults.  Adults are usually the purchasers. Being so removed from the economy renders them quite powerless.  They need to ask for help, ask for handouts, and when they do find ways to make money, they are paid for their “cuteness” and don’t always feel valued for their work.  These were excellent points! 

The next day Gee said he had a new idea.  He had devised a plan to get everyone a slice of pizza.  He said that if he bought a walk-in special and asked the pizza chef to cut the pizza into enough slices for everyone, then everyone could participate and no one would have to ask for money from parents.  He made arrangements to do some extra jobs for people he knew in exchange for gift cards from the pizza shop.  We constructed an email for parents to give their permission and the date was set.

Friday was the day of our trip.  Not all of the kids wished to attend the field trip but most did.  Several kids brought money to contribute in some way and they were excited.  This was a special event!  I think they felt mature and empowered.  One person even wore lipstick and really cool light-up sneakers.

It was drizzly and cold - not ideal weather to walk to the pizza shop.  It was actually a bit stressful at times for the adults who were trying to make sure that everyone stayed together and safe.  The kids felt safe though.  They were jubilant.  Even the youngest of the group, who was 18 months old decided this was the day she would become one of the gang and walk in the herd.

When we got to the pizza shop, the kids all spoke over top of one another placing their order.  At one point, Gee said “I don’t know what’s going on!” and backed away from the counter.  Then the kids did something interesting – they started to just order what they wanted and pool their money to make sure that everyone’s needs were met.  Once they realized that together they could figure out ways to meet everyone’s needs and get what they wished, they explored their purchasing power with enthusiasm.  Kids bought blue sports drinks, sugary drinks, brownies, and chips that they normally would not be allowed to buy if they were with their families. Some of them decided that they didn’t actually like these things but some did and some said that they did but didn’t consume them.  On this trip I observed that they ate 2 extra large cheese pizzas, pretended their pizzas were goatee beards, practiced breakdancing moves they saw on the TV in the eating area, went to the washroom with a friend, and talked about farts.  I wonder what things they remember from this trip?

This field trip inspired other ideas for field trips.  One child suggested that everyone go to McDonald’s next time.  He told the kids, “I saw a commercial for it once and everyone on the commercial seemed to be having a lot of fun there!”  His family is gluten-free and vegan.  While this suggestion of a field trip to McDonald’s might feel scary to some, think of all the possible learning and self-discovery that could come from such a trip? 

Giving kids the opportunity to explore the world on their terms and make their own choices is so very empowering.  So while the teacher in me was initially looking for the educational value in this trip, I get it now. I’m in awe of what they might be learning about autonomy, contributing to a group goal, freedom, and power.  Those things rarely make it into any official curriculum guide. The learner in me is honored that I was able to be a part of this field trip.

-Erin

What is it that kids like about Learning in the Woods?

For the past two weeks, I have been spending more time at Learning in the Woods and I have had a unique opportunity to observe more than engage with the children.  I found myself thinking, what is it that kids like about Learning in the Woods.  Here is what I discovered.

“No Have-To’s” or “Should’s”:  The kids are happy to be with us because they know they are not going to be pushed or cajoled into doing anything.  Our daily schedule is a welcome circle, FREE CHOICE, and a good bye circle.  Truly, the most valuable thing we have to offer kids is the freedom and space to pursue their interests, explore their feelings, engage with others, and just be.  This is an environment that cultivates mindfulness.  That is not to say that our time together is full of beautiful, calm moments…just the opposite actually.  It is the messiness and swirling chaos that produces moments of awareness.  That is learning.  Those moments of awareness help to fuel the next discovery and interaction.  

Supportive Caregivers: We have amazing facilitators.  We hire authentic people who value kids and understand about choice and freedom and self-awareness and respect.  The learning that happens in a schedule-free environment is not always easy to navigate, so believe me when I say, our facilitators are so very busy supporting kids the whole time. Having no schedule means that there are more occasions for children to directly or indirectly request support and our facilitators are there through every painful and joyful emotion.  Tanya once said about Learning in the Woods participant A, “I love her.  And I mean that.  I love her because I have sat with her through every emotion, the highest highs and the lowest lows and when you sit with someone through every emotion possible like that, you cannot help but love them at the end of it.”  Drop the mic.

A Safe Place for Full Expression of Who They Are: Kids like this camp because they can show up and express the fullest version of themselves.  There is no need to edit their likes or dislikes or interests.  We love nature AND Moana, Paw Patrol, Popular MMO’s and dancing to Bruno Mars.  We do our best to #nurturethewholechild and not just the parts that make for pleasing others and nice Instagram photos. 

A Safe Place for Full Expression of What They Feel:  Kids can be sad, angry, scared, or frustrated and no one will rush them through those feelings.  Have you ever been rushed through a feeling by a well-intentioned loved one?  It sucks.  It adds a layer of discomfort to a situation that already feels not so good, which is why you are expressing your discomfort out loud to begin with!  At Learning in the Woods, tears can roll, as there is no shame in crying.  Angry voices can shout or growl.  They can be noisy and rambunctious in their joy.  We are human and this is a place where we welcome a full expression of humanity.

Ultimately, we see kids as full humans.  Their requests and interests and worries and questions are treated with respect that the children CAN FEEL.  They know they are being listened to with respect and that sense of respect is what cultivates a bond and connection that allows the kids to feel safe. Kids feel confident to take risks and grow and learn in ways that ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM.  As an adult, don't you wish for these things too?

Hint Hint, the next blog is about Self-Connection in the Woods, our adult version of Learning in the Woods.

Camp beginnings

The first day of camp can be intense for parents, kids, and facilitators. On the first day of camp, more than any other day, facilitators have to be prepared to just go with the flow and slow the pace so they can effectively create a safe space for kids. Ultimately, we trust the kids will show us what they need to feel comfortable in this new environment, we just need to create a space where can express and we can listen.

Today I arrived at Learning in the Woods before welcome circle.  Kids were playing, things were quiet, and the mood was a bit uncertain as kids tried to figure out how things work in this new space.  Facilitators were extra busy, trying to meet all the needs.  FYI, all the needs on the first morning of camp seem to be expressed intensely and simultaneously from these young people who were trying to figure it all out. Luckily our facilitators are ready for this!

When there was a lull, the facilitators invited everyone to join the welcome circle. Suddenly there was a cry.  C, 4 years old, had tripped and she burst into loud tears. Grace spoke to her quietly and brought her back to base camp.  C got her special toy from her backpack and a friend who had attended Learning in the Woods camp earlier in the summer, offered to sit beside her.  She was crying quietly and little one-lookers listened as Tanya said,  “C got hurt.  She is crying.  She is hugging her turtle toy because it helps her feel better.”  Everyone looked at C.  “Would you like to tell us about how you got hurt C?”  C stood up and walked over to the spot where she had tripped.  The entire group jumped up to follow her. This was an empathetic response as much as it was done out of curiosity.  

They listened quietly, respectfully, as C recounted what happened. Some asked questions or made comments.  Others just listened. I suspect C felt heard by the group as she stopped crying and walked back to our welcome circle looking calm and peaceful.  I suspect the group felt reassured too, as they were calm also. 

And so, the morning continued. We finished circle. We explored the space. Whistles were blown a little too often when there was no emergency. “The Machine” was built with some disagreement and some cooperation.  Snacks were eaten with gusto when kids were hungry.  No one was rushed.  There was time for everything.  All feelings were welcome.    

C’s fall was the first group bonding experience for these campers and it was rooted in gentleness and care. It set the tone for the rest of the morning and probably the rest of the week too.  By caring for one member of the group, everyone else was reassured that they will be cared for also.  There is no rush.  We can all just care for each other and figure things out as we go.  That message is so reassuring, isn't it?  What a beautiful beginning.

The gift of discomfort

Yesterday I felt so insecure.  One of the great gifts of trying to do something outside of the "norm" is that there are so many opportunities for me to be humbled.  Yesterday I had a big humble.  I got to see how I fail and how I struggle. It's a huge gift to see that but it's also uncomfortable and difficult to live with. 

I experienced this humbling message right before I hosted a play date. There were new friends, old friends, and their kids all coming to my house for some fun on the beach.  Yet, minutes before their arrival, all I wanted to do was be still and quiet with my humbling pain. I didn’t tell my friends I was feeling raw and insecure. I wasn't fake with those around me because that might be denying my pain but I wasn't trying to connect deeply either because connecting deeply wasn't possible when I felt that kind of insecurity. So, I just sat with those feelings inside me and allowed gentle friendships to carry me for a bit. It was riding a wave and allowing other people to keep me floating for a while.  Keeping quiet but floating helped me to get me to a space that felt a bit calmer and safer.   

The safety didn’t actually mean processing the insecure feelings! Safety was connecting to a friend who “gets” it like I do.  It was nice to just by listen to her, something I enjoy doing, and feel as though I have something to offer. Safety came while fulfilling a commitment and realizing “I am feeling so sad, I’m just not able to fulfill this commitment the way I had hoped.” Being honest with myself while still honoring my commitment met my need for authenticity. Listening to another beautiful friend express her strength and self-awareness of her challenges made me feel thankful to get to watch her as she blooms. Feeling insecure kept me quiet and what I received in that quiet seemed more beautiful as a result.

Somehow, with those moments of safety, the insecure feelings just lived in me. I didn't try to understand them. I just went about my day and the humbling feeling gave me clarity to see the gifts that discomfort can bring. In that way, the discomfort and insecurity was honored.

I think this is sometimes the way life goes.  Sometimes we feel insecure and we get to choose what we do with that feeling.  Disconnecting from it, though it is painful, dulls me to the beauty of life. Processing it in the moment wasn't actually going to serve me either, it would have felt like I was rushing through the feeling or spinning it in my head.  Sitting with it, even though it was uncomfortable, gave me a new perspective which is maybe the point of that feeling anyway.

As a parent, partner, friend, and contributer to the world, perhaps you’ll be given the same gift I was yesterday; a gift that brings you rawness and clarity to see the beauty in this world with fresh eyes. 

11 Easy to Follow Tips to Make Your Unschooling Journey a Complete Success for Everyone!

Ha!…said no unschooler ever.  But if that title grabbed your interest, I suspect you might be new to unschooling and perhaps you will find my list to be helpful.  Or perhaps you have been unschooling for a while, scoffed at this title, and clicked on it for that reason?  If you are not new to unschooling...maybe you can reflect on your own journey?  It was reflecting on my own unschooling journey that helped me to create this list.  Let's jump right in, shall we?

1. There is no singular way to unschool.  Unschooling is essentially letting the learner drive their own education…and be responsible for the outcomes.  The way this is done depends on many factors including balancing family needs and the resources you have available which sometimes boils down to geography or community.  So for example, a family that lives in the city might be in a better position to unschool by being immersed in the local community.  A family that lives in a rural setting might be better off unschooling by strewing materials around to be discovered.  A family that has a new baby may decide that they are going to scratch everything for a while and let the baby be the learning!  Unschooling is really just living your life and learning as you go.
2.  Unschooling requires significant amounts of time to play, explore, create, think, daydream, and "veg".  Much like a sleep cycle, the brain goes through learning cycles that bring about different emotions and require different energy levels.  Allowing for large blocks of time to pursue passions and interests and just “be” is a large part of the “how to” in unschooling.  Don’t focus on the "outputs" as you may not see the "outputs" for years. Trust the path, trust the journey, trust the learner.
3. Unschooling doesn’t mean “no routine”.  Some unschoolers think that to unschool, you need to shed all forms of conformity or organization, but this is actually just one style of unschooling (radical unschooling).  I think unschooling is more about allowing each person to pursue their life on their terms and within the context of the surroundings they find themselves in.  So if a family member thrives on routine, they should be encouraged to embrace routines.  Find the routines that work and toss the ones that don’t!  Maybe your kid needs a lot of social outlets to stay energized and excited about life.  A routine that involves regular social outlets will need to be part of the unschooling mix for that learner.  I need a certain amount of organization and routine in my family to ensure that everyone’s needs met. Mornings are spent out of the house connecting with peers and getting exercise in unstructured settings.  Afternoons are for little ones who nap and for those of us who don't nap, that's the time we spend building things, doing experiments, completing housework, watching Youtube, and getting some work done for We Learn Naturally.  Deciding whether there should be routines, what they should be, and how they should look is ideally a joint conversation, where everyone’s needs are freely expressed and, if possible, the routines created are mutually agreed upon.  You may decide no routines feels best for everyone, and that's cool, but it's just as cool to be an organized, routine-loving unschooling family.  Type A's can unschool too.  ;)
4. Unschooling does not mean that you are now a “permissive” parent.  A.S. Neill once said “Freedom does not equal license.”  Wise words.  Even if your family decides you like the no routine lifestyle, it doesn't mean that you live without personal boundaries.  Freedom to make individual choices happens within the context of a family, a community, and a larger society.  As a parent, allowing your child to make their own choices doesn't mean you will get walked all over.  If relinquishing control of learning to the kids leads your family to swing wildly into a zone that has you feeling ragged, it's time to think critically about your needs in this dynamic. Changing the power balance to allow for unschooling could mean that your family may need to find a new way of negotiating different requests but the point is that all members of the family are respected.  Some people may mistake unschooling parents as permissive because you need to give your child large chunks of time to play and do their own thing, which can look permissive to others who are not familiar with this style of learning.  In fact, unschooling families are anything but permissive.   This style of learning requires a really engaged, respectful style of parenting, which, quite truthfully, I find to be both challenging and immensely rewarding.  I need to be aware of my own needs, values, and insecurities so that I can stay in tune with where I end as a person and the child begins.  I regularly challenge myself to keep my own needs in check so that I do not impose my own set of values without giving the learner the freedom to explore the other options.  I want them to come to their own conclusions about life, and that involves conversation, research, and reflection.  This style of education requires tremendous trust on the part of the parents and the work involved in reaching that place of trust requires soul-searching reflection and critical thinking.  Honestly, this style of learning looks permissive only because we are so used to controlling children and their learning.
5. Your kid will need to deschool.  As a rule of thumb, for every year that your child has been in school, they will need one month of uninhibited, no pressure what-so-ever deschooling.  No worksheets, no telling the child what to do or how to do it…just truly letting them be.  I would also go a step further and say that children will need more time to deschool if they have spent time in a structured childcare environment or spent their summers and off-school hours in adult-directed camps.  Living with significant structure from a young age takes much longer to deschool.  I would also add that if you have engaged in traditional homeschooling for a while, where you as the adult in charge decided what is learned or assessed the learning in any way, you may find that your child might also need to deschool from you!  You are changing the power dynamic between the two of you and that takes time to discover how that will look and feel.  You may find that your child "tests boundaries", "over consumes" things that you used as rewards (screen time?), or avoids things that may have felt like a punishment (reading or writing?).  These are common reactions in democratic free schools as well.  In fact, some free schools or schools that offer unschooling or Self-Directed Education, will not take children above the age of 8 because they struggle to adapt to an SDE environment.  The kids just can't get past the testing stage.
6. You will need to deschool.  I've kind of touched on this one already.  Unschooling is essentially letting the learner drive their own education…and be responsible for the outcomes.  Making the decision to unschool is often a bigger deal for the parent.  You will be challenged to let go in ways you didn’t anticipate.  Sometimes the biggest challenge in unschooling resides within you.  You may find yourself thinking differently about things other than learning...the shift can be quite powerful!
7. Grandparents and close friends may need to deschool too for that matter.  And if they don't, that's fine too. Lots of people will not care that you are unschooling; some will be curious and some will be knowledgeable, but chances are that you will come across a person or two who are uncomfortable with the idea…and if those people love you, they may express their concerns frequently or at high volumes. From their perspective, we live in a very competitive environment and your loved ones want what is best for you and the kids.  My advice is to approach this conversation as you would any other difficult conversation;  listen to their concerns as a way to show your love, share your philosophy in an effort to connect, offer resources if they are interested in learning more, and most importantly, let go of the struggles that reside in *them*.  Remember, ultimately, the choice to unschool came from your child and your wish to support that.  Family and friends are more like background noise and their expression of concerns are really the expression of *their* needs and values.  The Polish phrase “Not your circus, not your monkey” comes to mind. 
   
8. Unschooling needs to be a choice for each member of the family who is involved in living it.  Unschooling is a mindset.  Kids don’t usually ask directly to do unschooling, but if they have never gone to school, they’ll just naturally fall into it.  As a parent, you may decide that unschooling fits your personal philosophy on learning, but if your child is requesting to attend school, explore that option with them.  In fact, exploring that option and allowing your child to make the choice to attend, or not attend, or attend for a day and then quit, is part of the unschooling learning process. In fact, it is possible to be an unschooler and attend a public school!  As long as it is a freely made choice and the decision to leave and pursue something else is a viable option, I would still consider you to be an “unschooling” family.  If it is not a freely made choice (such as a family divorce where one partner insists on a child attending public school and the courts agree), the child may still approach life with an unschooler’s attitude.  That may mean pursuing a passion outside of school and looking for ways to incorporate it in school or rejecting the aspects of school that do not work (such as treating a mandatory project as just a chore that needs to be done, putting little effort in, and accepting the poor mark.)  
9. You may drift in your intensity of unschooling.  We live in a culture that places parents (and other adults) firmly in charge of children so it is not surprising that parents find themselves feeling doubtful or fearful about their child’s chosen learning path.  Radical unschoolers challenge themselves to find ways to say “yes” to a child’s requests, but maybe for whatever reason, that degree of unschooling doesn’t sit well with you (yet).  Some parents feel more comfortable with project style unschooling or mixing in a bit of curriculum when they start to feel panicky.  If you find yourself trying to control what or how your child learns, it may indicate that you have more deschooling to do but I wouldn’t advise a parent to let go of their “parental authority” if they are not ready.  If you are not feeling the unschooling vibe, take a break and force your child to do a curriculum book.  See where it takes you.  Your kids may buck and refuse to do it…where do those reactions lead you?  It’s your learning path as a parent and a person, so embrace it all!  Ultimately, if you feel uncomfortable, take a step back and find your footing again.  If you are trying to force yourself into the unschooling mindset, just know that it cannot be forced, it can only emerge through self-awareness and freedom of choice.  Forcing it in any direction will lead to blaming yourself “I must be doing it wrong” or blaming others “unschooling doesn’t work” which can be a vicious cycle and really isn’t in the spirit of unschooling.
10. An unschooler may start to reject other structured activities, even if it isn’t school.  When my son first started to reject structured activities, I started to wonder what was going on.  “But you love soccer?!”  Then I realized, he does want to play soccer, but once he learned some basic skills, he just wanted to do it on his terms for a while.  Structured environments can be great for learning skills from others, so long as that is your motivation for being there.  When signing up for activities with a young unschooler, you may want to ask if you can try out a class first before paying for a whole session, just so your child can get a sense of whether they are truly interested in spending their time (and your money) in that environment.
11. An unschooler may prefer to spend time with others who have an unschooler mindset.  As you continue down the unschooling path, you may discover that your child gravitates to other people with an unschooling mindset.  Family members who want to be in charge of children and tell them what to do and when to do it may have a hard time establishing a warm relationship with your child.  Your child may start to drift apart from friends who have a need to rebel or a need to please.  It kind of makes sense really; your child will look for friends who value the same freedom of choice and have similar levels of self-awareness.  Making the choice to let go of friends who don’t really “get it” to make room for friends who do is actually a good sign of becoming settled in the unschooling journey.  As children age, society will welcome them as free-thinking adults more readily than as free-thinking children.  Either way, they will find their fit and they will benefit from the journey being their own.

So now that you have read my list,what do you think?  For those of you who are veteran unschoolers, have I forgotten anything?  For those of you who are new, my main point is that we’re all on our own learning journeys. The messy, uncomfortable moments are just as valuable as the moments when everyone around you nods in approval. This is the path of depth and therein lies the beauty.  I wish you the best on your journey and if you are still in the approval-seeking stage in your deschooling process, I applaud you for attempting to walk along this messy beautiful path. ;)

Trust and Creativity

This week I had the pleasure of meeting Rebecca and Dave Zak.  They are artists and entrepreneurs, and I got to see their studio, geek out about self-directed education.

I want to share with you this video featuring Rebecca Zak.  I especially like the creative process visual that I included at the top of this page.  As Rebecca explains, the creative process isn’t a timeline or necessarily ordered in a direction.  The starting point is arbitrary and people move to or remain engaged in any portion of the process for as long as they wish.  How a person engages in the creative process is probably related to each idea or project as it is personal preferences and strengths.  Learning at the Barn School is based upon this fluid concept of creativity.  Free play or freedom to choose your activities can be an organic gathering of information, an incubation period, part of the critique, or production.  Sometimes it might make sense to have learners plan their ideas and project management techniques can to help them do that but learners can always break from the process when they need to.  Forcing a project or idea along a timeline to completion is the fastest way to remove creativity, innovation, and learning for those engaged.  

Right now, I am also re-reading The Conscious Parent; Transforming Ourselves, Empowering our Children by Shefali Tsabary.  There are lots of great tidbits in there but reading a book a second time is always eye-opening to me.  The second time through I am always surprised at my own growth since the first read-through and there are aspects of the book that I relate to and incorporate into my thinking in novel ways.  (If you want to read more about the power of re-reading a book, check out this article written for parents by Virginia Zimmerman.)  When I first read the book, I was not at the application part of We Learn Naturally philosophy.  Upon starting Learning in the Woods and applying self-directed education on a larger scale, I quickly realized the importance of holding a trusting mindset about the world.  Reading Dr. Shefali now, the section on trusting the wisdom of life has new meaning for me.

She mentions that “because so few of us trust the wisdom of life, people tend to project their lack of trust onto their children.”  Our society has an idea, based in fear and fragile egos, that trust, especially for children, must be earned.  Conversely, a trust in life and a broad sense of trust towards our children creates an environment that allows for growth, learning, mistakes, and ultimately creativity.  If we trust our children to know themselves (or are capable of discovering themselves) we can let go of our worries and allow them to spend their time as they wish and learn in their own directions.  Their minds can pursue thoughts and activities that help them grow in ways that we could never fathom.  If we want creativity, first we must trust.

I’d like to share with you an observation about my son.  He’s 6 and he has never been in a formal learning environment, including daycare.  As his mom, I have a lot of trust about his place in the world, his understanding of what his needs are, his ability to communicate them, and find ways to have those needs met.  I trust that he will learn because that is what humans do.  He is introverted, so for the most part, I am not privy to what is going on in his brain.  But every once in a while he asks some questions or shares his thoughts and I get a quick glimpse inside. In those moments, I realize how limitless his capacity for learning and creating really is.  Here is an example of my son playing with the creative process of information gathering, incubation, and critique over the course of a day.

Yesterday, we visited a theme park that we have a season’s pass to.  It was a day of busy playing in a familiar setting.  We had lunch where many other young families were congregating and the noise was like sensory overload for me, so I didn’t try to initiate conversation at all.  After about 30 minutes of eating in this setting he said, “I’ve got a really tough question for you.  Is gravity constantly moving or does it not move.”  We talked about gravity for a bit, building on previous conversations we’ve had about forces and gravity and the earth and the moon.  We didn’t come to an answer to his question, but we talked enough so that there was more to consider.  Then he ate his pizza without saying a word and we continued on with our day.  As we were leaving the theme park, I was collapsing the stroller his sister was using and he was lying on the ground under a tree and asked “how do you know you are at the end of the earth?”  We talked about how we know the earth is round and that like all spheres, there’s really no start or stop to it, or if there is one, it’s probably arbitrary.  This is another favorite thought for him, the concept of infinity, no start or stop.  Then he said “Lying here, I can’t feel that I’m moving.  I can’t feel gravity.”  We talked about how he can feel the earth underneath his back and how that is a force pushing against the pull of gravity.  We talked about how the earth is moving and we know this because of day and night and the seasons.  Then he asked “If our sun is a star and every star we see at night is a sun with gravity, are all the stars everywhere also moving and working with forces that we can’t feel even more than we can’t feel gravity on earth?” 

He returns to these thoughts of forces and gravity and infinity and the universe often.  I think all kids are capable of these sorts of profoundly interesting thoughts.  The difference is, my son has been given trust in the form of time and freedom to engage his mind in the creative process on his own terms.  He may incubate and gather information about forces and gravity and the universe like this for years and never move onto the production side.  Or maybe his ideas *are* the product?  Who knows?  It's really up to him how his learning evolves. 

I should mention that my son is not interested in reading or writing at this point in time and occasionally that plays on my ego as I watch friends and family with similarly-aged kids “learn” those skills.  When that insecurity creeps in, I ask myself, “Am I doing this right?” but when he shares these interesting questions, suddenly I am reminded of the ideas that are bursting in his head like fireworks.  His mind is his own and if I want to facilitate his learning, creativity, and innovation, I need to trust *HIS* process and keep my ego in check.  Our relationship and his learning depend on it.  We live in a culture of mistrust, fear, ego, and comparison.  It is a difficult paradigm to shift in our heads, let alone on a societal level, but I’m up for the challenge.  Let’s see what we can do, shall we?

Connections Triad; reflections of camp

Whether it’s a 10 week session throughout a season or a 1 week summer camp, when we reach the end of our scheduled time at Learning in the Woods, everyone experiences a bit of a “high”.  When it’s time to say good-bye, connections are at their strongest, so it’s only natural to look back at our time together and reflect.

Despite being very pregnant, I happened to be on site for the first morning of camp.  It’s such a vulnerable time and not just for the kids!  Facilitators want to help bridge the gap between home and camp but with no prior connection, they really don’t have a choice but to be patient, grounded, and present.  Parents have signed their children up for this nature camp thing but suddenly, uncertainty lingers in the air.  I think the strongest impression for me was witnessing how brave the kids were, venturing into the unknown!  It reminds me of the first days of school as a kindergarten teacher.  With no solid prior connections to draw on, everyone digs deep and pulls from within the best they can. I have so much love for these brave little souls!

Even kids who know what to expect, still have butterflies because they know the dynamics have changed.  My son, who is certainly a regular at Learning in the Woods, was feeling anxious Monday afternoon when we arrived for his session.  While sitting with him as he rode out his nerves, some of the kids who participated in the July camp arrived.  They were excited to be back to their familiar space again, flying down the hill, backpacks bouncing on their backs.  Can you picture it?  Read that line again, if you need to because it was that excited energy bouncing past, that lifted my son from his nerves and carried him down to camp.  And that’s sometimes that's just how it goes.  You spend time building a connection to yourself, so that you can build a connection to others, and somewhere along the way there is a connection to nature too.  There is an ebb and flow that works in this triad and we don’t really think much about it unless we give ourselves time to reflect.  

Tanya, the Learning in the Woods Director, and our facilitators Claudia, Soren, and Laura all did an outstanding job this week, keeping themselves grounded and present so that the kids could walk away with deeper connections.  It was a challenging week though.  To start off it was HOT.  Morning temperatures in our city were often hotter than correlating morning temperatures in Mumbai.  Plus, we ended the week with thunder and rain.  With any kind of intense weather, the facilitators feel pressure to keep kids safe and to fully consider parental concerns.  It’s always a challenge to balance those concerns with what we know of nature connection.  You see, most forest schools do not make weather cancellations and we understand why.  In those weather challenges, the possibility for connection intensifies.  

In the heat we can observe how nature adapts; the bugs burrow into the moist soil to stay cool and hydrated.  Small creatures and birds conserve their energy for cooler times of the day and spend the hottest times in the shade or in the spot in the forest that catches a breeze.  As we observe and connect to nature, we can apply that learning to ourselves.  My son arrived home yesterday after a week in the heat and didn’t feel a need to come into our air conditioned house.  His sister and I retreated after 20 minutes of playing outside but he continued to play and create in our backyard, soaked in humidity.  He had adapted, he had overcome.  He learned to take his cues from nature, listen to his body, adapt, and in the end, he found a new sense of peace in the challenging heat. What a gift!

And it’s not just the physical stamina that grows.  We talk about how when we are experiencing discomfort with our feelings, we don’t actually want to hide them, change them, or rush past them.  The feelings are there for a reason and if we can sit with them, they bring us depth of understanding.  The same is true when experiencing nature. To get a depth of understanding, it really is best to stay with nature.  That means visiting the same location in different seasons and weather conditions so that you can truly understand how it flows and your fit in the natural world.  We looked into making our last day of camp at a location that had something new to explore and some water to splash in (our little stream was completely dry with this drought) but we were so glad that we stayed put!  By staying put, the kids were able to reflect on how comfortable they felt in the forest, even exploring the familiar paths “alone”, thus raising their confidence and their sense of inner peace.  They were also rewarded with RAIN!  With water gushing up to the kids’ ankles, our little stream had the appeal of an exciting new toy!  The played and rejoiced in their new wet forest and their new friendships.  It was the kind of ending that we could not have predicted but we’re so thankful to have received.  By staying put, we are able to experience the complete triad of joyful connection to nature, self, and others.

It was tempting to alter our location or respond to the elements by retreating somehow but we are really glad that we didn’t.  We don’t want to be fearful of nature or the elements because we know that our fear can be passed onto our kids.  We want to instill a respect and appreciation for nature, not a rejection of it when the elements bring us discomfort or don’t fit our vision of the experience.  The human oneness with nature is so ingrained in our very core that sometimes it seems our connection with nature can mirror our comfort level with our own feelings.  We are a culture of of people who often resort to retreating or displacing.  But if we sit with ourselves, find peace in ourselves and in our environment, then, with enough practice, it becomes possible to find peace with others.  And that is the motivation behind this whole thing, the possibilities that come with connection.  We don't want to reject that which feels uncomfortable; those are actually the moments we want to dig deep and connect.  So, that’s how it goes at Learning in the Woods.  There is an ebb and flow to all things and as we finish up our camp season, we are left feeling really thankful for the experience and for this time to reflect.