tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44501125880384279062024-03-05T18:01:22.472-08:00We Learn NaturallyAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-60615707881154675932018-03-11T11:17:00.001-07:002018-03-11T12:05:47.048-07:00Playing is Learning<br />
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We've been running City School as pop up sessions
for families who are curious to check us out. Slowly we're creating a community of regulars but we still get new families popping in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When adults observe our pop ins and see non stop play, I sometimes struggle with what I guess their judgements might be. I'm holding space for the kids to do their thing but I'm also aware
of the potential adult thinking; "All they do is play, when are they going to
learn? Is this really valuable?"</div>
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href="data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQSEhUSEhQWFhUXFRgYFxgXGBsZGBUbGBgXFxUXFxUYHCggGBolGxkUIjIhJSktLi4uGiAzODMsNyktLisBCgoKDg0OGxAQGywkICQsLCw0LCwsLCwsLDQsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLP/AABEIAKwBJQMBEQACEQEDEQH/xAAcAAEAAQUBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAABQEDBAYHAgj/xABBEAACAQIEAwYEAwUGBQUAAAABAgMAEQQFEiEGMUETIlFhcYEHMpGhFEKxI1LB0fAzYnKCkuEVY7Kz8UOio8LD/8QAGwEBAAIDAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEAQIFBgf/xAA0EQACAgIBAwIEBAQHAQEAAAAAAQIDBBEhEjFBBRMiUWFxFDKBoUKRsdEjM1LB4fDxBhX/2gAMAwEAAhEDEQA/AOG0AoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUBWs6YFq2UGCumtlVIxsFaw65LuNnmo9GRQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoCoFSQrcjGy4sdXqsXfc1ci6sBq3HFRo5o9fhzUix0a+4jIwWFUuvaFgmoaygBYL1KqSATWZ1NRfQuQrI75Oj5P8ACmR1xDDRKrxJ+FkLaUbtHUmUj5lZIwe6Qd221VxJ+oVy6F2ab2vt4J3XNb/Y0zjbhN8C4+cxtsryKIy7ADWViLFwl+RYC9YbjbHqj3/oEavUJkUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgPSrU1VfUzDZkQxXrr00aIpS0TsfD0oAOg2KlgRYggC5II2O316VcjpIpzvW9HpctbnpPh7+H61siB3ouJlTnkpPoDR8Gv4hHoZeVO4I9dqxxo1d6Z2PAZ8cDlME1tRICKDsOTEEnwsteR/BO7LsinpbO3PJ9vHhJrb0jjXF/E5xhbtIYA5a5kRCsh8iQ1mH+IE+ddZ4apjqMn+v/hHCbnzJLZqZrnPuTFKwBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgKgVtFbegX4krsY1OlsikyWw+FIIuCDtsRY77jY+VdCOtcFO6euGbxhcyWOFNrW2IvsdrbeB3NSVwUmcrfVLSPD4x3bUSirfYkdeWwY8/PcnxqZxjBaMuK7a5JDK8tJ/MRfwvt13BO4NR23r5GrX0JDMjEAInVv1t5rff2qvFOXOzSa0jK40C/wDB4lQhgsq8v8Dj2rk40HDNlvzs7M5qWNDXjSOHYkbmuhkR4LNb4MRq4Ni1InRSozIoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKA9KhPIE0BRlI2OxHMeFAUoCoWgFqApQCgFAKAleH8q/Eydn2sUW1wZWKKTcDSCFPe3+1T1yVcetxb+yMab4TS+517L/AIbw3gnsIwHXtIw3apJpt3o5DuFYjdWvzPKqV3rnRXKvvvhPtrfz+pPDCcpqXbXdGu8a5dJHj5+0JYtIXVj1Rt4/YLZf8teh9MnCWNDo8cfr/wAnCznJWyUi4mWLKmg7kgEdCtt2I/zaR6V0YvTObVb0y2jcODMmiSAsqhntdWcBrEqAL+KqSTavIetzlLOVbb00uN/U9T6bJPFc9Le/kbCcbgknGEMrGew2cnSxOkBTyVCxZRdAACQP7tTfhpqrceF9+eDR3RlLUuX9v2Mbi7MsPgIYnkw4mhmkWJy3OIG7AgBCW21G226+ezDvnbJ7k1Lxrz9zWymEVpR+F/sa7xzgPw+BaNDeFpg8d+Y2dSPsD710KLnbkJyfKTT/AG0UbKVVW1Hs2n/U4ni+ddK/sWquxhPXBu7lhHmoDIoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAkfljjAbSGDMx33sxAU+NtNwP73TnWUC9OpkQhzqYKHjfe7pch1N9yRvz5aWFyLVkESq3NhzNagneFcpmnxIgiRWY7nV8qgC5LGx2qavvz2Mrub1nnwxxceHeSLDwyne4RmaQL+8qlV1HyG/kaxOUP4TMteDlBqI1KUAoBQG2cBZoMM8kjT9igUFtCI00tidMcWsEKTc3JsABvfatpVq2Kj07e/m0l9Xo2jJx53o37DfF+3d7EaRsLvdiPFjp3PpWq/+fcl+f9uP6h57X8H7/wDBM4PizBZlaPFRBW5I17EeSv8AwNY/CZuB8db6o/Jd/wCRH142Z8E10y+v+zLuM4QdP2mFYSqAe6dn8R5Gxro4frNN/wANnws5WR6NZTtwezI4UxGnUjKRY2Kte4BvsQfce16oevVJzhdE6fofU67KZLTXJI4/hvAy4uPEyEicWZSWAvptfba/Qe/QmqkPU5RSXTvS1v7lifpzbbTet7aJ/ERxuCkgjkiYC4Yg8t7keu96o13WVWuyBYlUpQ6WuTU/isVOABAsO1XT7hr11/SLfcyN/RlD1GChUl9UfPGK5mvR3y4Iq+xiNXDtfJOjzUJkUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAZUeJGjQ4JAJK2NipNtXQ3BsNqyteQVTF2dDbuqLWudwSSwJHjqbl41nabBIZTlpMy9mddmXsyB8xJsgO/da9ufI+VbxrbZlLZ3rh/hHA4IJK0vZTy2UMz3EjWsQEJtpBI5Wttc1lSk+pRX3M7JLKc0x0ePlgxIQ4exKMuwUfksdIJY7XBJ6naxFZlGtw3H/01PnTjiWJ8wxTwf2bTyFbcjdjcjyJuR5EVACDoCtqAz8tyWefeKJ2H71rL/rNl+9aSsjH8zNJTjHuyXTgnE2uxiQf3pQf+m9aLMri+NkTya/mUPCsq/wDqRH/D2h/SOrtPqda7pmn4ith8DPh+86EL+908N/D3rq05tN/Clz8iGahPhG5cKccSQ2VyWX7j0PWqud6RVf8AHD4ZfNf7onx/ULKPgsXVD919jqeAzGDFqGuNXRhz9D/I15bIV2O/ayF9n4O7ROMo+5Q9r5HvN8mWVNEl7A3SRGKMjfvI6m6G23mNt6qxlZTLqXKN+qM/oyCwnCz9qhlxuIkjU37Im2u3ISMvzr4gjerLz49PbTNpwXTtL9z38UCWwjAiwEi289muf0q96JJyyd+NM4vqjSoT+qPnrHLZq9Na+NkFL3EwTXHsfJZKVGBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQE5whmXY4lGY2W/jsD+Un3sL+dWcaajPnztGU9He80y7DZjFEJH06BseexKNtuLNdBvuOdwa1jN1Nxa2GSefM8iiTDlSsdkYMusMttyN97X38d/fepLtPySx4XJzjF5TlmLd4ZYlwuIQlS0PdW/QlPlIOxGwuDWXQpLcTLgmc/4v4QmwDLqIkif5JVHdbyP7rW6etr2qtKLi+SKUXEucP5bC0jP/AGkYW4VgQ6sWXSHQGzC2rcXBt0qtdOUY8FW+yUY8dzcosaLjXuB4/KBbouwt5bbdRyqg48bOY0+7JLBv2xtFCZW8BY2ttvewHvb0qJxfzCi5dkXcdkuPZb2w+GX5bzTAE+yd0ddiTUkVBd+SxHHetyIfMOHMwhRp1xEMyINUixPdgoPeOgoNSgHf9KsRcHwlpkvsR1x3NSzKHRIrRg6JbsgtuNyGSw6BthYbi3ga9N6flK2r4+HHgj11x5JPIs9eBrqfUHr5EVbyMWvIh02La/oR1W240+up/p4Z17hbixJlAJ3tup/rcV43L9NtwpbjzBnoqMqnMjuPE/K/t9DY2livso332FcnInGDWkuTZynDhspmGWJiIXhf5WFr9VPRh5g71YwsqVFinEp31K6Li/J8y8YZW2Gnkif5kYqfA25EeRFj717P3FZDrXlHPx9xbg/BrhrmT7l4pWoFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAVBoDf+Bp2GHYu76TKsca3O7EDuqOXUdOhro49iVcpz50SQ+p1zJMVNGgUiFlPP9o+rlfdTHve36VBKam96Zs2cg+LeIAx4aNHifslueWrchSLb2sLb25VHNuMtx7mknyarjM+nliEMkhaMNq09Li4B+5rWdsp9zDk33JThucrDITYgEabgXBsb2bn+YdedUr1yijlLcoo3jhHhZpbSYq6RHkAdJJ8Wbmik3I9tx1rqdbn07MRqSlyjapeDGjlEsMyHDhf7KT9oSQNlVmBO52+YdNtt97oR6WyWUG9/L9zYcx7cQscOgeUC4ViQD9Nzv58r8+Rq01dffsEuN9yPD438OsmKiij1I7MELB49K7go1wQV1b3v0tvtLbQq0nFm0kunto41mOIZY4muwHZ7lQmrvMRYOTdRt+UW6dK6uAk9x0u/nZWpW9/ch1xKk9xSot1OonzJsP0r0dSkly9/sYnAnMnx7IwZSQb1mcIyTjJcMoy6q5KcHpo6lkOaGWzeO3oRzH3v71859Yw5Y93S+z7HeozXlQ633Xc3bBS7VUqi4x2yVSW9HEfjphwuM1D88UbH13T9EFes9MscsXnxwUpLWR90ctNH3LBSsAUAoBQF78O1r26XrXqRP+Hs1vRaIrYhaKUMCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAdD+GwLRMjKrIJlYBgD3gvMX6jb610cRJwlskgb/nWdRYOIyy28ABa7HoorNk1FbN29HDM7zR8VM80h7zHl0UdFHkBXOk9vZC3swbVgwbTkRVIkL7L2gdvJdQW/0W9VbtylpFG/m1a8HZ8txei1j3SBa3Ig8j6WrkWNxemWpXRmtmfNjY7iM2DSAhQpVWba50liBf3qWqEreERwg7O3YlsuK9moDtccmIsR4qVPgRYg8rVJB+18O+TdLp+HZGcd4wQ4LESM5ZjEY0vbYyd2ygDzuevd8hW7m7JLbFi1HbPn7isWaAeGHX/uSGu56dLUX9yDF5r/AFZFQtXfrltEk0TGCetmULYm+cI4qzW8d/p/tevP/wD0FCnjKz/S/wBiP06zpvcPEl+6Oq5bJcCvJdfwt7/Q7kVz2OUfHpbzRH/kD/uSV6H0d9WNL7le16vX2OQmpWTlKwBQF" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_DoleHafZg6LuQTuxqP4dkUULGBbUepwV4lyAHqBusj7JMKASyYfy-yPEeCvtFXIh4S6xgCWt-Q9KiYt5zTZlfP7Rg2psaKz_NtVqzScbmjrlfUF-XFZOfl_J_dX-mSK-GPeksfe1VYV1/s400/20180309_112942.jpg" width="400" />Yes. They are learning and this is valuable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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This play is so rich with learning it's
hard for me to untangle what each is taking away from the experience.
Negotiating, storylines related to deep themes like society's justice system,
how to include others in play, how to meet everyone's needs, or just developing an awareness of their own needs. It's all there, happening right at each child's individualized pace.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Plus, to get to the kind of learning that all adults traditionally value, kids need to feel safe. They need to feel safe to take risks, ask big questions, and struggle through muddy waters to reach answers that may be incomplete. Deep, valuable learning is messy and time-consuming so making sure the environment is safe for that kind of learning is important. Some kids are still testing the waters with other
learners and facilitators to measure their safety and safety takes time to
establish. Play is actually the fastest way to establish that safety.<o:p></o:p></div>
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href="data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAQAAAQABAAD/2wCEAAkGBxQSEhUSEhQWFhUXFRgYFxgXGBsZGBUbGBgXFxUXFxUYHCggGBolGxkUIjIhJSktLi4uGiAzODMsNyktLisBCgoKDg0OGxAQGywkICQsLCw0LCwsLCwsLDQsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLCwsLP/AABEIAKwBJQMBEQACEQEDEQH/xAAcAAEAAQUBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAABQEDBAYHAgj/xABBEAACAQIEAwYEAwUGBQUAAAABAgMAEQQFEiEGMUETIlFhcYEHMpGhFEKxI1LB0fAzYnKCkuEVY7Kz8UOio8LD/8QAGwEBAAIDAQEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEAQIFBgf/xAA0EQACAgIBAwIEBAQHAQEAAAAAAQIDBBEhEjFBBRMiUWFxFDKBoUKRsdEjM1LB4fDxBhX/2gAMAwEAAhEDEQA/AOG0AoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUBWs6YFq2UGCumtlVIxsFaw65LuNnmo9GRQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoCoFSQrcjGy4sdXqsXfc1ci6sBq3HFRo5o9fhzUix0a+4jIwWFUuvaFgmoaygBYL1KqSATWZ1NRfQuQrI75Oj5P8ACmR1xDDRKrxJ+FkLaUbtHUmUj5lZIwe6Qd221VxJ+oVy6F2ab2vt4J3XNb/Y0zjbhN8C4+cxtsryKIy7ADWViLFwl+RYC9YbjbHqj3/oEavUJkUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgPSrU1VfUzDZkQxXrr00aIpS0TsfD0oAOg2KlgRYggC5II2O316VcjpIpzvW9HpctbnpPh7+H61siB3ouJlTnkpPoDR8Gv4hHoZeVO4I9dqxxo1d6Z2PAZ8cDlME1tRICKDsOTEEnwsteR/BO7LsinpbO3PJ9vHhJrb0jjXF/E5xhbtIYA5a5kRCsh8iQ1mH+IE+ddZ4apjqMn+v/hHCbnzJLZqZrnPuTFKwBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgKgVtFbegX4krsY1OlsikyWw+FIIuCDtsRY77jY+VdCOtcFO6euGbxhcyWOFNrW2IvsdrbeB3NSVwUmcrfVLSPD4x3bUSirfYkdeWwY8/PcnxqZxjBaMuK7a5JDK8tJ/MRfwvt13BO4NR23r5GrX0JDMjEAInVv1t5rff2qvFOXOzSa0jK40C/wDB4lQhgsq8v8Dj2rk40HDNlvzs7M5qWNDXjSOHYkbmuhkR4LNb4MRq4Ni1InRSozIoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKA9KhPIE0BRlI2OxHMeFAUoCoWgFqApQCgFAKAleH8q/Eydn2sUW1wZWKKTcDSCFPe3+1T1yVcetxb+yMab4TS+517L/AIbw3gnsIwHXtIw3apJpt3o5DuFYjdWvzPKqV3rnRXKvvvhPtrfz+pPDCcpqXbXdGu8a5dJHj5+0JYtIXVj1Rt4/YLZf8teh9MnCWNDo8cfr/wAnCznJWyUi4mWLKmg7kgEdCtt2I/zaR6V0YvTObVb0y2jcODMmiSAsqhntdWcBrEqAL+KqSTavIetzlLOVbb00uN/U9T6bJPFc9Le/kbCcbgknGEMrGew2cnSxOkBTyVCxZRdAACQP7tTfhpqrceF9+eDR3RlLUuX9v2Mbi7MsPgIYnkw4mhmkWJy3OIG7AgBCW21G226+ezDvnbJ7k1Lxrz9zWymEVpR+F/sa7xzgPw+BaNDeFpg8d+Y2dSPsD710KLnbkJyfKTT/AG0UbKVVW1Hs2n/U4ni+ddK/sWquxhPXBu7lhHmoDIoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAkfljjAbSGDMx33sxAU+NtNwP73TnWUC9OpkQhzqYKHjfe7pch1N9yRvz5aWFyLVkESq3NhzNagneFcpmnxIgiRWY7nV8qgC5LGx2qavvz2Mrub1nnwxxceHeSLDwyne4RmaQL+8qlV1HyG/kaxOUP4TMteDlBqI1KUAoBQG2cBZoMM8kjT9igUFtCI00tidMcWsEKTc3JsABvfatpVq2Kj07e/m0l9Xo2jJx53o37DfF+3d7EaRsLvdiPFjp3PpWq/+fcl+f9uP6h57X8H7/wDBM4PizBZlaPFRBW5I17EeSv8AwNY/CZuB8db6o/Jd/wCRH142Z8E10y+v+zLuM4QdP2mFYSqAe6dn8R5Gxro4frNN/wANnws5WR6NZTtwezI4UxGnUjKRY2Kte4BvsQfce16oevVJzhdE6fofU67KZLTXJI4/hvAy4uPEyEicWZSWAvptfba/Qe/QmqkPU5RSXTvS1v7lifpzbbTet7aJ/ERxuCkgjkiYC4Yg8t7keu96o13WVWuyBYlUpQ6WuTU/isVOABAsO1XT7hr11/SLfcyN/RlD1GChUl9UfPGK5mvR3y4Iq+xiNXDtfJOjzUJkUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAZUeJGjQ4JAJK2NipNtXQ3BsNqyteQVTF2dDbuqLWudwSSwJHjqbl41nabBIZTlpMy9mddmXsyB8xJsgO/da9ufI+VbxrbZlLZ3rh/hHA4IJK0vZTy2UMz3EjWsQEJtpBI5Wttc1lSk+pRX3M7JLKc0x0ePlgxIQ4exKMuwUfksdIJY7XBJ6naxFZlGtw3H/01PnTjiWJ8wxTwf2bTyFbcjdjcjyJuR5EVACDoCtqAz8tyWefeKJ2H71rL/rNl+9aSsjH8zNJTjHuyXTgnE2uxiQf3pQf+m9aLMri+NkTya/mUPCsq/wDqRH/D2h/SOrtPqda7pmn4ith8DPh+86EL+908N/D3rq05tN/Clz8iGahPhG5cKccSQ2VyWX7j0PWqud6RVf8AHD4ZfNf7onx/ULKPgsXVD919jqeAzGDFqGuNXRhz9D/I15bIV2O/ayF9n4O7ROMo+5Q9r5HvN8mWVNEl7A3SRGKMjfvI6m6G23mNt6qxlZTLqXKN+qM/oyCwnCz9qhlxuIkjU37Im2u3ISMvzr4gjerLz49PbTNpwXTtL9z38UCWwjAiwEi289muf0q96JJyyd+NM4vqjSoT+qPnrHLZq9Na+NkFL3EwTXHsfJZKVGBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQE5whmXY4lGY2W/jsD+Un3sL+dWcaajPnztGU9He80y7DZjFEJH06BseexKNtuLNdBvuOdwa1jN1Nxa2GSefM8iiTDlSsdkYMusMttyN97X38d/fepLtPySx4XJzjF5TlmLd4ZYlwuIQlS0PdW/QlPlIOxGwuDWXQpLcTLgmc/4v4QmwDLqIkif5JVHdbyP7rW6etr2qtKLi+SKUXEucP5bC0jP/AGkYW4VgQ6sWXSHQGzC2rcXBt0qtdOUY8FW+yUY8dzcosaLjXuB4/KBbouwt5bbdRyqg48bOY0+7JLBv2xtFCZW8BY2ttvewHvb0qJxfzCi5dkXcdkuPZb2w+GX5bzTAE+yd0ddiTUkVBd+SxHHetyIfMOHMwhRp1xEMyINUixPdgoPeOgoNSgHf9KsRcHwlpkvsR1x3NSzKHRIrRg6JbsgtuNyGSw6BthYbi3ga9N6flK2r4+HHgj11x5JPIs9eBrqfUHr5EVbyMWvIh02La/oR1W240+up/p4Z17hbixJlAJ3tup/rcV43L9NtwpbjzBnoqMqnMjuPE/K/t9DY2livso332FcnInGDWkuTZynDhspmGWJiIXhf5WFr9VPRh5g71YwsqVFinEp31K6Li/J8y8YZW2Gnkif5kYqfA25EeRFj717P3FZDrXlHPx9xbg/BrhrmT7l4pWoFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAVBoDf+Bp2GHYu76TKsca3O7EDuqOXUdOhro49iVcpz50SQ+p1zJMVNGgUiFlPP9o+rlfdTHve36VBKam96Zs2cg+LeIAx4aNHifslueWrchSLb2sLb25VHNuMtx7mknyarjM+nliEMkhaMNq09Li4B+5rWdsp9zDk33JThucrDITYgEabgXBsb2bn+YdedUr1yijlLcoo3jhHhZpbSYq6RHkAdJJ8Wbmik3I9tx1rqdbn07MRqSlyjapeDGjlEsMyHDhf7KT9oSQNlVmBO52+YdNtt97oR6WyWUG9/L9zYcx7cQscOgeUC4ViQD9Nzv58r8+Rq01dffsEuN9yPD438OsmKiij1I7MELB49K7go1wQV1b3v0tvtLbQq0nFm0kunto41mOIZY4muwHZ7lQmrvMRYOTdRt+UW6dK6uAk9x0u/nZWpW9/ch1xKk9xSot1OonzJsP0r0dSkly9/sYnAnMnx7IwZSQb1mcIyTjJcMoy6q5KcHpo6lkOaGWzeO3oRzH3v71859Yw5Y93S+z7HeozXlQ633Xc3bBS7VUqi4x2yVSW9HEfjphwuM1D88UbH13T9EFes9MscsXnxwUpLWR90ctNH3LBSsAUAoBQF78O1r26XrXqRP+Hs1vRaIrYhaKUMCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAKAUAoBQCgFAdD+GwLRMjKrIJlYBgD3gvMX6jb610cRJwlskgb/nWdRYOIyy28ABa7HoorNk1FbN29HDM7zR8VM80h7zHl0UdFHkBXOk9vZC3swbVgwbTkRVIkL7L2gdvJdQW/0W9VbtylpFG/m1a8HZ8txei1j3SBa3Ig8j6WrkWNxemWpXRmtmfNjY7iM2DSAhQpVWba50liBf3qWqEreERwg7O3YlsuK9moDtccmIsR4qVPgRYg8rVJB+18O+TdLp+HZGcd4wQ4LESM5ZjEY0vbYyd2ygDzuevd8hW7m7JLbFi1HbPn7isWaAeGHX/uSGu56dLUX9yDF5r/AFZFQtXfrltEk0TGCetmULYm+cI4qzW8d/p/tevP/wD0FCnjKz/S/wBiP06zpvcPEl+6Oq5bJcCvJdfwt7/Q7kVz2OUfHpbzRH/kD/uSV6H0d9WNL7le16vX2OQmpWTlKwBQF" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>When I look at this picture of the kids playing on their
terms, I'm reminded of how few opportunities kids have to engage in large
blocks of free play in a group. So when it's tidy up time and the energy
level picks up and the kids just can't bring themselves to help us in our tidy
efforts I find myself struggling. Part of me is aware of the adult gaze upon us
"you should make the kids tidy"...and my wish for them to help tidy... and the other part of me recognizes
the intensity of the need to play. The kids are aware their time together is
coming to an end, they feel the pressure, and they want to squeeze in every last drop of time together emersed in their play. I get that.</div>
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Play on kids. I trust you are meeting the needs that are strongest in you. I trust the other "stuff" will come in due time.</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-54653258092573649682018-02-24T09:33:00.002-08:002018-03-08T18:22:00.904-08:00You Can Learn a lot from a Pizza Shop - City School<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX0RvpF7FXi1HTrh96beX_mc-u0PTw1o8Ld0qKn18VlR3NwL-ei-D7Z3Ti-2waw2WzDuZL3WKACTe0InTU7zk8XVvu04RspQ0A_GPfNcCJDFoj1ifwLAVxdzPxyyKz2qviFC5uLknuHO4s/s1600/20180223_122333.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX0RvpF7FXi1HTrh96beX_mc-u0PTw1o8Ld0qKn18VlR3NwL-ei-D7Z3Ti-2waw2WzDuZL3WKACTe0InTU7zk8XVvu04RspQ0A_GPfNcCJDFoj1ifwLAVxdzPxyyKz2qviFC5uLknuHO4s/s320/20180223_122333.jpg" width="320" /></a>A few weeks ago, Gee suggested that we go on a field trip at
City School to the local pizza store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few
kids showed interest and so we went about planning our first field trip. I didn’t
realize it would be an exercise in deschooling for me!<o:p></o:p></div>
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An adult question was posed - “do you want to learn how to
make pizza?” Gee responded with a tone that was equivalent to an eye-roll. “No.
We are just going because it will be fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most people like pizza so we will just get to go together and enjoy a
pizza together.”</div>
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I volunteered to assist Gee in planning the trip. He wasn’t
sure where to start or that any planning would need to be done in advance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said, we would probably need to ask the
parents’ permission and that kids who wanted to go would need to ask for
money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gee said, “Oh forget it
then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want anyone to have to
hear the words no when they ask for money.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do you know how it feels to have to ask for money to do things you want
to do? And then to hear the words no all the time?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We then had an interesting discussion about
how kids don’t have the same access to money and the economy that adults
have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are fewer ways for kids to
earn money, they often need adult assistance to make that happen, and their
sources of income also come from adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Adults are usually the purchasers. Being so removed from the economy
renders them quite powerless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They need
to ask for help, ask for handouts, and when they do find ways to make money, they
are paid for their “cuteness” and don’t always feel valued for their work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were excellent points!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJH_EIYeNs5ws2qa2IDWUptCcrY5dgx-NA-CO7tyjVIKApBVDJXaeNBn7yXKoN_vvp-4aldkRB3JETBby3NvGHEOSp095eSyASJDOfwJKqAqZ1lzV3z7IBrL1_8aqnDmYAZvliRetNTox/s1600/20180223_122326.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNJH_EIYeNs5ws2qa2IDWUptCcrY5dgx-NA-CO7tyjVIKApBVDJXaeNBn7yXKoN_vvp-4aldkRB3JETBby3NvGHEOSp095eSyASJDOfwJKqAqZ1lzV3z7IBrL1_8aqnDmYAZvliRetNTox/s320/20180223_122326.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The next day Gee said he had a new idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had devised a plan to get everyone a slice
of pizza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said that if he bought a
walk-in special and asked the pizza chef to cut the pizza into enough slices
for everyone, then everyone could participate and no one would have to ask for
money from parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He made arrangements
to do some extra jobs for people he knew in exchange for gift cards from the
pizza shop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We constructed an email for
parents to give their permission and the date was set.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Friday was the day of our trip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not all of the kids wished to attend the
field trip but most did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several kids brought
money to contribute in some way and they were excited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a special event! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think they felt mature and empowered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One person even wore lipstick and really cool
light-up sneakers.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnyLAFW8p6Nk8s0IW-qzMn8MpmPG2qND705bVpGvmwaoZkp8tSM0fYxjXva5XSn7LOetwgBZ5LY2vyxjKGPxQIAVOipLns0sbxXpBqv6JnYd9RnpsRQemye-TWznrwvc6zXdPmI8Sqk5Y2/s1600/20180223_114955_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnyLAFW8p6Nk8s0IW-qzMn8MpmPG2qND705bVpGvmwaoZkp8tSM0fYxjXva5XSn7LOetwgBZ5LY2vyxjKGPxQIAVOipLns0sbxXpBqv6JnYd9RnpsRQemye-TWznrwvc6zXdPmI8Sqk5Y2/s320/20180223_114955_HDR.jpg" width="160" /></a></div>
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It was drizzly and cold - not ideal weather to walk to the
pizza shop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was actually a bit
stressful at times for the adults who were trying to make sure that everyone
stayed together and safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids felt
safe though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were jubilant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even the youngest of the group, who was 18
months old decided this was the day she would become one of the gang and walk
in the herd.</div>
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When we got to the pizza shop, the kids all spoke over top
of one another placing their order. At
one point, Gee said “I don’t know what’s going on!” and backed away from the
counter. Then the kids did something
interesting – they started to just order what they wanted and pool their money
to make sure that everyone’s needs were met.
Once they realized that together they could figure out ways to meet
everyone’s needs and get what they wished, they explored their purchasing power
with enthusiasm. Kids bought blue sports
drinks, sugary drinks, brownies, and chips that they normally would not be
allowed to buy if they were with their families. Some of them decided that they
didn’t actually like these things but some did and some said that they did but
didn’t consume them. On this trip I
observed that they ate 2 extra large cheese pizzas, pretended their pizzas were
goatee beards, practiced breakdancing moves they saw on the TV in the eating
area, went to the washroom with a friend, and talked about farts. I wonder what things they remember from this
trip?</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDACZTF6cXk-PorynX1WGaVFysKF2_5bbUk2hqBmJREWrZjKdmDShiX-98Gh9kQERqxsrbS3UpBqt1HeLBgDPQVuW4Qq4up3CfAgH-Kbq3sNboeL_nsMoh1xExREYlBnkcy1AEBwdEWvz8/s1600/20180223_123907.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDACZTF6cXk-PorynX1WGaVFysKF2_5bbUk2hqBmJREWrZjKdmDShiX-98Gh9kQERqxsrbS3UpBqt1HeLBgDPQVuW4Qq4up3CfAgH-Kbq3sNboeL_nsMoh1xExREYlBnkcy1AEBwdEWvz8/s320/20180223_123907.jpg" width="160" /></a></div>
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This field trip inspired other ideas for field trips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One child suggested that everyone go to
McDonald’s next time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told the kids, “I
saw a commercial for it once and everyone on the commercial seemed to be having
a lot of fun there!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His family is
gluten-free and vegan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While this
suggestion of a field trip to McDonald’s might feel scary to some, think of all
the possible learning and self-discovery that could come from such a trip?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Giving kids the opportunity to explore the world on their
terms and make their own choices is so very empowering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So while the teacher in me was initially
looking for the educational value in this trip, I get it now. I’m in awe of
what they might be learning about autonomy, contributing to a group goal,
freedom, and power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those things rarely
make it into any official curriculum guide. The learner in me is honored that I
was able to be a part of this field trip.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Erin</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-70823861072689862352018-02-11T10:43:00.002-08:002018-03-08T18:28:37.798-08:00Am I special also? - City School<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_DPi0MV1zbe6TmiVwKiLhZ-gyOon-h2hqOzbdA6oR7yXyt1IdrxOFRlNSYIPFkDysAxLhkRxTNSGYfJ4NFUDGdFn3WvYezlyDDOt2XubDBxeIKI0emgHE0edSbGkT2IEIVj-sLvzK_uWp/s1600/20180209_104131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_DPi0MV1zbe6TmiVwKiLhZ-gyOon-h2hqOzbdA6oR7yXyt1IdrxOFRlNSYIPFkDysAxLhkRxTNSGYfJ4NFUDGdFn3WvYezlyDDOt2XubDBxeIKI0emgHE0edSbGkT2IEIVj-sLvzK_uWp/s320/20180209_104131.jpg" width="320" /></a>It was our first pop up session at City School on
Friday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really nervous beforehand
and it was a great relief that the day was peaceful and fairly easy to
navigate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (The conflicts and arguments will come later when they are more comfortable!) </span></div>
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I was feeling that relief as
we tidied up at the end of the day and reflecting internally as I did my work.
I was thankful that I got to spend time with so many interesting, lovable
humans!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I was thinking this when a parent arrived
to pick up his son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said with
sincerity, “I really enjoyed my time today with D.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s such a special kid!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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My son happened to see my face as I said this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He must have recognized that this was a
heartfelt statement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no BS
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly felt love for this kid! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He pulled my arm and whispered to me “Am I special also?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiRSpcyl7sJm_LgdF7wqCgmTUa6Muy38XnJ4X6M9J4dau-7aIiI9uR9uaV-DzphYbX8vyB2ZK0fcoIF6-GULRLA_5Zav-GM9cMe9fqMhJUz3iAn0i236c-qxBPM0jh1Nokvk8k03UuBbRH/s1600/20180209_123009_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="800" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiRSpcyl7sJm_LgdF7wqCgmTUa6Muy38XnJ4X6M9J4dau-7aIiI9uR9uaV-DzphYbX8vyB2ZK0fcoIF6-GULRLA_5Zav-GM9cMe9fqMhJUz3iAn0i236c-qxBPM0jh1Nokvk8k03UuBbRH/s320/20180209_123009_HDR.jpg" width="160" /></a>Oh goodness!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
he must have felt a pang of jealousy or insecurity and he wanted
reassurance!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must be so hard for him
to share his mom in this way!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I swooped him into my arms for a surprise hug and kiss and
whispered,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I love to spend
my time with you. You are *MY* special kid!” then I gave him another quick
kiss. He giggled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was the
giggling an expression of relief that he is special in my eyes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Embarrassment that his mom is giving him
kisses publicly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or was it just the
spontaneity of it all? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyway, he was fine so I went back to cleaning and saying
goodbye to parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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That night, as I was putting away laundry. He followed me into the
bedroom and was doing flips on the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He wanted to be close and he wanted to talk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After discussing Minecraft materials for a
bit he said;<o:p></o:p></div>
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“The kids seemed to like City School, eh Mumma?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Ya, I thought so!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even the kids who had parents who left for a while seemed pretty
comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those are the ones I try to
connect with most actually, the ones that have parents who leave for a
while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want those kids to know that I
see them with the same love and softness that their own parents have for them. I want them to feel safe and understood, even
when their parents aren’t there. I would like this City School to be a place where kids
feel loved all the time. I would like kids to feel heard and to be trusted.”</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbrmRdfQRs5KXEur-RM5mPIGbQ-0xRUxGBOStt4R-4eZ44N6K2AAUCyc4WclLuPIiBIf0w52OJAKOC7atl-ZSLdf86caN9D76NR2TMY5rBxbyWtwnsGJjaX31ocXhcvagDQFNjU5BsRb-q/s1600/20180209_102700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbrmRdfQRs5KXEur-RM5mPIGbQ-0xRUxGBOStt4R-4eZ44N6K2AAUCyc4WclLuPIiBIf0w52OJAKOC7atl-ZSLdf86caN9D76NR2TMY5rBxbyWtwnsGJjaX31ocXhcvagDQFNjU5BsRb-q/s320/20180209_102700.jpg" width="320" /></a>“Ya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I like to feel those things. </span>I’d like other kids to feel that way when they are with us too.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then he went back to doing flips and talking about whatever was on his mind and I think I got his permission
to love all the kids who join us at City School.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-41208554556165072482017-10-06T11:52:00.000-07:002018-03-08T18:24:18.260-08:00Perhaps we are trees?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtTmKYWIbga17GmOPgWGE8f5Vyq71obwgWkSHIZQMn6hVmP40eZBWhN_hjVCQzlhjwkSeqCgbImrx7_q5-1DiBRzqoS9ZKigd9jH6lF3QlBpus9MKB7EJovdSZvmAULhhiJaU7jSTrM-Z/s1600/2015-10-14+07.43.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtTmKYWIbga17GmOPgWGE8f5Vyq71obwgWkSHIZQMn6hVmP40eZBWhN_hjVCQzlhjwkSeqCgbImrx7_q5-1DiBRzqoS9ZKigd9jH6lF3QlBpus9MKB7EJovdSZvmAULhhiJaU7jSTrM-Z/s320/2015-10-14+07.43.30.jpg" width="180" /></a>I have been reading a book about trees off and on for a
while now. I like it because I can pick
it up anytime and leave it for months before finding it again. Today I found it
while my youngest was snuggling in for a nap. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, the underlying “science” is that trees spend their time
growing and producing nutrients and sharing what they create with their fellow
trees, particularly their “family” members and other species that are “friendly”. In the late summer, sometimes even end of
July, trees begin to cut back their production for themselves and their “family”
and “friend” trees. They have worked
hard to provide for themselves and others and their tree bodies are full and
heavy so they start to conserve their energy. They prepare for a survival through an environment that will be cold and dark for a while, followed by a new season of growth.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5k2KSFRJRLuUeoAawoo__LFhlc6v_XVQohG7oT_yG52WyUpzhU6qmGErfUQNk7O41AZmpodCBR6W8JEoph6OhhSBQfqOZhWctinz7rL7nyJ6BjoVdAubJDIHnc-0uU2mhz4IpGRw1cguY/s1600/2015-10-21+10.10.38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5k2KSFRJRLuUeoAawoo__LFhlc6v_XVQohG7oT_yG52WyUpzhU6qmGErfUQNk7O41AZmpodCBR6W8JEoph6OhhSBQfqOZhWctinz7rL7nyJ6BjoVdAubJDIHnc-0uU2mhz4IpGRw1cguY/s320/2015-10-21+10.10.38.jpg" width="180" /></a>Did you know that a deciduous tree’s version of “dullness” is actually
autumn? The removal of chlorophyll from
their leaves makes them “dull” by tree standards and the remaining colours, which were always present, are now the ones we see. Their green life is gone. These colours of early autumn are still bright to our eyes
and the eyes of insects who are looking for bark to burrow in for the winter. The more intense tree dullness (brighter
Autumn colours) indicate health and strength and signal to bugs to find a less
healthy tree to winter in so that they will not be subjected to the tree’s
defenses. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A deciduous tree is relatively new (and innovative) in
comparison to coniferous trees. They go
dormant and suspend their growth and require cold to germinate and their
lifespan decreases if they are not able to move through their natural dormant
periods. They need to have a period of
time when the water is drained from their branches and trunks (water in
branches and trunks in freezing weather would kill the tree). Dormancy allows for a plant’s survival in its
environment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ieY_Nlx7A4_RjciBMPitlbwMcXvGJ9m1-PYrFfcMMym6jZGg3MaahB3aReI6RY3y2-ojKQ5_AQiTalaLt7kEiwFpR2JU1Yjuqj41Wr2cLyaIdo1BbJr2z1eQeUuB8aGUycD3_Ic9AeO8/s1600/2017-04-29+12.03.00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ieY_Nlx7A4_RjciBMPitlbwMcXvGJ9m1-PYrFfcMMym6jZGg3MaahB3aReI6RY3y2-ojKQ5_AQiTalaLt7kEiwFpR2JU1Yjuqj41Wr2cLyaIdo1BbJr2z1eQeUuB8aGUycD3_Ic9AeO8/s320/2017-04-29+12.03.00.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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The strongest contrast between dormancy and life are trees in the cherry family. Trees in the cherry family begin to “dull” in July,
germinate in the cold, and they are among the first tree to blossom in the
spring. My favourite is the Service Berry with it's orange-red autumn leaves - so beautiful. The spring blossoming is also breathtakingly beautiful. In Japanese culture, the cherry tree and blossom, (sakura), has been a symbol that life is both spectacularly beautiful and awesomely short. The cherry tree kind of represents the great contrast between death and renewal, fragility and beauty, hope and pain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To my
friends who are feeling tired and quiet, dull and heavy, drained... perhaps we are just trees responding to our environment, preparing ourselves for the future? Maybe instead of pushing against these feelings, it would be helpful to simply sit with some “friendly” trees who are
starting to feel dormant themselves? Perhaps we will feel comforted by our connection and shared experience?😉<o:p></o:p></div>
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My blog posts usually emerge in a burst and I don't always remember what I was reading that inspired me. I just know that I'm always reading something, even if it is short or frivolous. Today's blog I actually kept track of some of my reading inspiration. Not all of it but some. Here they are.</div>
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<a href="http://dyckarboretum.org/why-do-plants-go-dormant-in-the-winter/">http://dyckarboretum.org/why-do-plants-go-dormant-in-the-winter/</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/how-do-trees-survive-winter">http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/how-do-trees-survive-winter</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben<o:p></o:p></div>
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https://www.buildingbeautifulsouls.com/symbols-meanings/tree-symbolism-meanings/cherry-tree-meaning-symbolism/</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-88711361096904887112017-09-28T07:45:00.003-07:002018-03-11T11:56:11.119-07:00The Children's Market and My Learning<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdpcTAXWqZp-cAW9VHyDEHcjo_0FjBEU8b7FJhC2w5ZlyT20348WhrKBlHEwopIL0PqqAJFKVx8HzMdK1w4IcCaIKjVSpnRaW9B3R0OMvgAovtVIPPuHY_URgFzJ7RuBhTUwEUMQJeAPfU/s1600/white+roses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a 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href="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><img border="0" data-original-height="397" data-original-width="340" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdpcTAXWqZp-cAW9VHyDEHcjo_0FjBEU8b7FJhC2w5ZlyT20348WhrKBlHEwopIL0PqqAJFKVx8HzMdK1w4IcCaIKjVSpnRaW9B3R0OMvgAovtVIPPuHY_URgFzJ7RuBhTUwEUMQJeAPfU/s320/white+roses.jpg" width="274" />This week my kids are participating in a children’s market
and they are so excited. This children’s
market idea was initiated by Meaghan Jackson through the Burlington-Hamilton
Unschoolers and has grown to include the entire local homeschooling
community. Children have created market
booths selling services, products, crafts, and items with the intent of selling
them to other children and attendees. In
unschooling style, parents are encouraged to step back so that their kids can
take the initiative to plan, create, calculate, and negotiate so this experience
can feel real and rewarding. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My daughter loves make-up, hair, colour, and design so when
I asked her what kind of shop she wanted to have at the children’s market she
didn’t hesistate – a beauty salon. She
decided she would paint nails, do make-up, and she says that she is also going
to do hairstyles but she hasn’t really thought that one through yet so I am not
sure if that aspect will materialize. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This week she asked me to take her to the store so that she
could buy a new nail polish for her salon “A glitter one because girls love
glitter!” and today she wants me to take her to the store to buy white roses
for her salon. I guess she has a vision of what she wants her salon experience
to be like? She said “Girls love
beautiful flowers!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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As she plans aloud, I can’t help but notice that several girl
stereotypes are being played out in my daughter’s salon. So I had to ask “Are you only serving girls
at your salon?” She said yes. I felt really uncomfortable. I wanted her to be open to gender fluid kids
or boys who wanted their nails done… So I asked what about boys that want to
get their nails done? “They are not
allowed.” Oh no…I felt uncomfortable with that. So I asked how those boys would
feel if she told them they are not allowed to get their nails done at her
salon. She thought about it and said “Lonely.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTC432y0OD87w7mIaFt7uotG39r1LlJSZd7aUHht-5OXKpcbuCgiGjlvNLvYvO9VyiWe0LE9IcHGCzRyTwGkGM_951QLKVzNpXILRtNj8ufJaQ8GEUTD8ylTj8aErOs1O2cPSse1wkQmK/s1600/061615-nail-polish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="821" data-original-width="684" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPTC432y0OD87w7mIaFt7uotG39r1LlJSZd7aUHht-5OXKpcbuCgiGjlvNLvYvO9VyiWe0LE9IcHGCzRyTwGkGM_951QLKVzNpXILRtNj8ufJaQ8GEUTD8ylTj8aErOs1O2cPSse1wkQmK/s320/061615-nail-polish.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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I let her response sit with me and soon I realized her
answer revealed a bit of her. She has a
best friend who is a boy and most of her play experiences have been heavy on
the boy influence. As unschoolers, we
have had to work really hard to find her some friends who are girls. What if
her choice of market booth is not just an expression of her talents, but also
an expression of her needs? Perhaps a
need for friendship and shared values? What if she is creating a market booth
that attracts the kind of people she wishes to interact with more often?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was humbled by that thought. I realized I was so tempted to pressure her
into agreeing to serve all customers equally but if I had done that, I would I
have changed the experience for her. I would have made her booth about my needs
for equality and acceptance, robbing her of the chance to try to meet her needs.
And more importantly, I would have robbed her of the opportunity for her to
learn from her market beauty salon experience.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This children’s market was supposed to be a chance for kids
to learn but here I am learning the value of stepping back and letting a child
lead the process. I’m not sure how my
daughter will respond to a gender fluid kid tomorrow or a boy visiting her
salon but I now realize the experience she is creating is for her own
learning. I’m just lucky enough to be
along for the ride. Once again, I am
feeling schooled by unschooling. <span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-88396915272661491912017-09-15T06:53:00.001-07:002018-03-21T06:17:28.026-07:00Triggered Empathetic Responses<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaw7b8xIadx3Pn5cIzAi6sq3eFmrTZYoEZdtiqOXG49NlwRfJmofwu1-XNn1tBMaJcex3OOhIYvkHQ02TIjCndH6YyJXvj4PwiaYwbsSb4puQNybbr23fbJOcwrbvZ9weVjLOvIr3JAkgc/s1600/20170914_124351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaw7b8xIadx3Pn5cIzAi6sq3eFmrTZYoEZdtiqOXG49NlwRfJmofwu1-XNn1tBMaJcex3OOhIYvkHQ02TIjCndH6YyJXvj4PwiaYwbsSb4puQNybbr23fbJOcwrbvZ9weVjLOvIr3JAkgc/s320/20170914_124351.jpg" width="240" /></a>Last night was a beautiful summer evening, so my family and
I stayed out enjoying it well after dark.
I had the baby and she wanted to look at the blinking lights in the shop
windows. Those bright blinking lights
are so appealing to babies. There were some loud people around, one man was especially loud but she ignored it all. I took her
lead and let her little pointed finger determine where we would go next and
what we would talk about. At one
point, she looked up at the night sky and as she looked up, I supported her
soft little head so that she could look ALLLL the way up for as long as she
wanted. At one point she realized I was
supporting her head and I said “I’ve got you!” and gave her a gentle kiss. The whole feeling must have felt quite lovely
because after the first gentle kiss, she touched my hand and leaned in for another
gentle kiss. We did as many gentle
kisses as she wanted and when she was done being kissed she just laid there,
with my hand supporting her head, looking at the night sky. In that moment, instead of following her gaze
again, I looked up and realized that the tough, scruffy looking guy having a smoke and a beer had been watching
us the whole time. He smiled at me and
when our eyes connected I saw that by witnessing this interaction between my
daughter and I, he had softened. He seemed to be more gentle also. We didn't say anything, we just connected with our eyes and enjoyed the shared peaceful moment. I thought perhaps that by witnessing our tenderness, we had triggered his empathetic response and
he was now experiencing this soft, lovely evening, just as we were. He was no longer fronting or swaggering, he
was there with us, peaceful and gentle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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href="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" 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The empathetic response is really so amazing. It has an actual name " Emotional Contagion" but I'm not sure how many people recongnize that name. This response happens regularly but we’re often
unconscious to it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8F4rjORYQpJwDtrqvGePny5l1VzAyGOSm08oRrN8GMpilaLjhdHN-E6RGueSsxCpMLXxoYq7GI06lO8hT5hVZdtbXgGpTLDImO42K6skeICcub6K0QjMt8l_qDzQPZmV9XqEDlsIeBsoX/s1600/2017-08-15+11.41.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlJXn1nItxr2Igjrpdot7xJijAZtUGP2w3wvuUDGFduBizpDy_TSnLw1EcKRpYKZ2AxDKEmnaZmWnDlyo_jhgMKmYrSX8Ll7J7GoStHdYIj0MxGcQI4nwjAS1wRkLofuzFV37I_hlS05BT/s1600/2017-08-14+11.32.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlJXn1nItxr2Igjrpdot7xJijAZtUGP2w3wvuUDGFduBizpDy_TSnLw1EcKRpYKZ2AxDKEmnaZmWnDlyo_jhgMKmYrSX8Ll7J7GoStHdYIj0MxGcQI4nwjAS1wRkLofuzFV37I_hlS05BT/s320/2017-08-14+11.32.55.jpg" width="240" /></a>I unschool my kids right now but this was the first full
back to school week for local kids and I was noticing the range of
responses. For some kids, the return to
school this week was still exciting. For
others it was already becoming a familiar routine. And for some, they had strong reactions,
especially on Sunday night and Monday morning.
Having supply taught and worked in Ontario public schools as a teacher, I
know that school and classroom environments vary widely. Some are lovely and inclusive and non-judging while others have power dynamics and subtle undertones. Think for a moment how your
child’s learning environment triggers their emotional contagion. (If your child is sensitive, you’ll probably
be more aware of their empathetic response.)
Loving and kind gestures within your child’s earshot and eyesight will
likely trigger them to also feel loved and cared for. They’ll be willing to take risks and approach
life with a sense of curiosity. If your
child is in an environment where they witness harshness and power-over
dynamics, even if it is not done *to them*, they may respond as though it was. A power-over environment can encourage a child to experiment with their own power-over behavior (aka bully culture). Or they may react with tears Sunday night or
Monday morning or “clingy” or eager to please behavior when you are together. They may appear agitated and aggressive as
their fight response runs its course through their body. They may not even be able to articulate it
because as adults, we are often unconscious of it ourselves. In fact, as children, we were often taught to
dismiss our own unidentified, uneasy feelings by our well-meaning care-givers,
though the most sensitive of us find that an impossible task. But as parents caring for our children in
conscious ways, we can choose something different.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8F4rjORYQpJwDtrqvGePny5l1VzAyGOSm08oRrN8GMpilaLjhdHN-E6RGueSsxCpMLXxoYq7GI06lO8hT5hVZdtbXgGpTLDImO42K6skeICcub6K0QjMt8l_qDzQPZmV9XqEDlsIeBsoX/s1600/2017-08-15+11.41.18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8F4rjORYQpJwDtrqvGePny5l1VzAyGOSm08oRrN8GMpilaLjhdHN-E6RGueSsxCpMLXxoYq7GI06lO8hT5hVZdtbXgGpTLDImO42K6skeICcub6K0QjMt8l_qDzQPZmV9XqEDlsIeBsoX/s320/2017-08-15+11.41.18.jpg" width="320" /></a>If your child is loving school, I am celebrating their joy
with you. There is nothing better than
seeing your child feeling confident and content. If your child is signaling distress,
I encourage you to be their support and advocate. Alternatives exist. Your responses have a big influence on how they
value themselves and interpret the world.
Their empathetic response is triggered all the time and helping them to
develop an awareness of it will honor their experience and give them a stronger
voice and advocate.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-12359281478885276572017-08-22T12:32:00.000-07:002018-03-11T11:56:26.397-07:00What is it that kids like about Learning in the Woods?<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUL2zqZ5vrcgYsPH_uKgEjb5Rl5QNewmrXR5Me0x8xRP-JaW9BuNUn1IXpTk4fFOy3gQR5OWQUeCgCsBMOuewuf7aXJ70Z_5aZtVlHo5FFMzGGjE0V5G_Vv5bEAAvn42cIZboraQbQL1f9/s1600/20170815_104441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUL2zqZ5vrcgYsPH_uKgEjb5Rl5QNewmrXR5Me0x8xRP-JaW9BuNUn1IXpTk4fFOy3gQR5OWQUeCgCsBMOuewuf7aXJ70Z_5aZtVlHo5FFMzGGjE0V5G_Vv5bEAAvn42cIZboraQbQL1f9/s320/20170815_104441.jpg" width="240" /></a>For the past two weeks, I have been spending more time at
Learning in the Woods and I have had a unique opportunity to observe more than
engage with the children. I found myself
thinking, what is it that kids like about Learning in the Woods. Here is what I discovered.<o:p></o:p></div>
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frltEk0TGCetmULYm+cI4qzW8d/p/tevP/wD0FCnjKz/S/wBiP06zpvcPEl+6Oq5bJcCvJdfwt7/Q7kVz2OUfHpbzRH/kD/uSV6H0d9WNL7le16vX2OQmpWTlKwBQF" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><b>“No Have-To’s” or “Should’s”:</b> The kids are happy to be with us because they
know they are not going to be pushed or cajoled into doing anything. Our daily schedule is a welcome circle, FREE
CHOICE, and a good bye circle. Truly, the
most valuable thing we have to offer kids is the freedom and space to pursue
their interests, explore their feelings, engage with others, and just be. This is an environment that cultivates mindfulness. That is not to say that our time together is
full of beautiful, calm moments…just the opposite actually. It is the messiness and swirling chaos that
produces moments of awareness. That is learning. Those moments of awareness help to fuel the next discovery and
interaction. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz8LJdSgOGIPwl0ZVU8EZeVpR-hqonKYBJ_Q22sIhIcwHLKMxEjA0pWbAfCGzjNiRJ42AH9voAOvATZCoKhC8lPZ4uEIf_q2w3yNmCG_FgSlK0xobUI6L9ja-Q_qmgFRKW2wVwhEFvhJf8/s1600/20170619_110018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz8LJdSgOGIPwl0ZVU8EZeVpR-hqonKYBJ_Q22sIhIcwHLKMxEjA0pWbAfCGzjNiRJ42AH9voAOvATZCoKhC8lPZ4uEIf_q2w3yNmCG_FgSlK0xobUI6L9ja-Q_qmgFRKW2wVwhEFvhJf8/s320/20170619_110018.jpg" width="240" /></a><b>Supportive Caregivers:
</b>We have amazing facilitators. We
hire authentic people who value kids and understand about choice and freedom
and self-awareness and respect. The
learning that happens in a schedule-free environment is not always easy to
navigate, so believe me when I say, our facilitators are so very busy supporting
kids the whole time. Having no schedule means that there are more occasions for
children to directly or indirectly request support and our facilitators are there through every
painful and joyful emotion. Tanya once
said about Learning in the Woods participant A, “I love her. And I mean that. I love her because I have sat with her
through every emotion, the highest highs and the lowest lows and when you sit with someone through every emotion
possible like that, you cannot help but love them at the end of it.” Drop the mic.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>A Safe Place for Full
Expression of Who They Are:</b> Kids like this camp because they can show up
and express the fullest version of themselves.
There is no need to edit their likes or dislikes or interests. We love nature AND Moana, Paw Patrol, Popular
MMO’s and dancing to Bruno Mars. We do
our best to #nurturethewholechild and not just the parts that make for pleasing others and nice
Instagram photos. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-9hnpyXk62B5a01aMbo63pzdZxJv018X3c0oKjxQh7IpxALfeDbolOopilo83njpCs5Dv1SII2PHc2EMhJbJCs409blySCxS3tl69BEaUdZgPpKGjSScyIJBbqyXt9Ni8GaIsFvatcdhv/s1600/20170815_114755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-9hnpyXk62B5a01aMbo63pzdZxJv018X3c0oKjxQh7IpxALfeDbolOopilo83njpCs5Dv1SII2PHc2EMhJbJCs409blySCxS3tl69BEaUdZgPpKGjSScyIJBbqyXt9Ni8GaIsFvatcdhv/s320/20170815_114755.jpg" width="240" /></a><b>A Safe Place for Full
Expression of What They Feel:</b> Kids
can be sad, angry, scared, or frustrated and no one will rush them through those
feelings. Have you ever been rushed
through a feeling by a well-intentioned loved one? It sucks.
It adds a layer of discomfort to a situation that already feels not so
good, which is why you are expressing your discomfort out loud to begin with! At Learning in the Woods, tears can roll, as there is no shame in
crying. Angry voices can shout or
growl. They can be noisy and
rambunctious in their joy. We are human
and this is a place where we welcome a full expression of humanity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ultimately, we see kids as full humans. Their requests and interests and worries and questions are
treated with respect that the children CAN FEEL. They know they are being listened to with
respect and that sense of respect is what cultivates a bond and connection that
allows the kids to feel safe. Kids feel confident to take risks and grow and learn in ways that ARE
IMPORTANT TO THEM. As an adult, don't you wish for these things too?</div>
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Hint Hint, the next blog is about Self-Connection in the Woods, our adult version of Learning in the Woods.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-79607914134287570062017-08-14T12:21:00.001-07:002018-03-11T11:56:49.836-07:00Camp beginnings<br />
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The first day of camp can be intense for parents, kids, and
facilitators. On the first day of camp, more than any other day, facilitators have to be prepared to just go with the flow and slow the pace so they can effectively create
a safe space for kids. Ultimately, we trust the kids
will show us what they need to feel comfortable in this new environment, we just need to create a space where can express and we can listen.<o:p></o:p></div>
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frltEk0TGCetmULYm+cI4qzW8d/p/tevP/wD0FCnjKz/S/wBiP06zpvcPEl+6Oq5bJcCvJdfwt7/Q7kVz2OUfHpbzRH/kD/uSV6H0d9WNL7le16vX2OQmpWTlKwBQF" 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<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I arrived at Learning in the Woods before welcome
circle. Kids were playing, things were quiet, and the mood was a bit uncertain as kids tried to figure out how things
work in this new space. Facilitators
were extra busy, trying to meet all the needs. FYI, all the needs on the first morning of camp seem to be expressed intensely and simultaneously from these young people who were trying to figure it all out. Luckily our facilitators are ready for this!<o:p></o:p></div>
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When there was a lull, the facilitators invited everyone to
join the welcome circle. Suddenly there was a cry. C, 4 years old, had tripped and she burst
into loud tears. Grace spoke to her quietly and brought her back to base
camp. C got her special toy from her
backpack and a friend who had attended Learning in the Woods camp earlier in
the summer, offered to sit beside her.
She was crying quietly and little one-lookers listened as Tanya said, “C got hurt.
She is crying. She is hugging her
turtle toy because it helps her feel better.”
Everyone looked at C. “Would you
like to tell us about how you got hurt C?”
C stood up and walked over to the spot where she had tripped. The entire group jumped up to follow her.
This was an empathetic response as much as it was done out of curiosity. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWEaIr_bF28-LhKPxi1vFkOjcYm6kXEkuKpEheKyybu872Uk0rp2KkL8aKzwcrsYVA0Oq9t6AwfLV0xZ5fNoEUZ1yIPKVLNlcJgztVOSpDDMerhLSmev5Foco1qGEc5bffkrdUqYzE17gP/s1600/20170814_113245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWEaIr_bF28-LhKPxi1vFkOjcYm6kXEkuKpEheKyybu872Uk0rp2KkL8aKzwcrsYVA0Oq9t6AwfLV0xZ5fNoEUZ1yIPKVLNlcJgztVOSpDDMerhLSmev5Foco1qGEc5bffkrdUqYzE17gP/s320/20170814_113245.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
They listened quietly, respectfully, as C
recounted what happened. Some asked questions or made comments. Others just listened. I suspect C felt heard
by the group as she stopped crying and walked back to our welcome circle looking calm and peaceful. I suspect the group felt
reassured too, as they were calm also. </div>
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And so, the morning continued. We finished circle. We explored the space. Whistles were
blown a little too often when there was no emergency. “The Machine” was built
with some disagreement and some cooperation.
Snacks were eaten with gusto when kids were hungry. No one was rushed. There was time for everything. All feelings were welcome. <o:p></o:p></div>
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C’s fall was the first group bonding experience for these campers and it was rooted in gentleness and care. It set the tone for the rest of
the morning and probably the rest of the week too. By caring for one member of the group, everyone else was reassured that they will be cared for also. There is no rush. We can all just care for each other and figure things out as we go. That message is so reassuring, isn't it? What
a beautiful beginning.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxh99wg7IXJEsECRU4WpDOxEI8u8kkjL5dDjxo4PdAq6V8XbYVrHEnmLxIH7yLdvCihyphenhyphenP_1yDflB7a5tyJb-914bcWv7xiE6myPp1LP7I8bCAjHkqm23Kt_7Ba0t7iAEMwqT0TOkrr8NgD/s1600/20170814_104022.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxh99wg7IXJEsECRU4WpDOxEI8u8kkjL5dDjxo4PdAq6V8XbYVrHEnmLxIH7yLdvCihyphenhyphenP_1yDflB7a5tyJb-914bcWv7xiE6myPp1LP7I8bCAjHkqm23Kt_7Ba0t7iAEMwqT0TOkrr8NgD/s320/20170814_104022.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-54151977450433591342017-08-04T06:08:00.000-07:002018-03-08T18:28:17.513-08:00The gift of discomfort<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday I felt so insecure. One of the great gifts of trying to do
something outside of the "norm" is that there are so many opportunities for me
to be humbled. Yesterday I had a big
humble. I got to see how I fail and how I
struggle. It's a huge gift to see that but it's also uncomfortable and difficult to live
with. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I experienced this humbling message right before I hosted a
play date. There were new friends, old
friends, and their kids all coming to my house for some fun on the beach. Yet, minutes before their arrival, all I
wanted to do was be still and quiet with my humbling pain. I didn’t tell my
friends I was feeling raw and insecure. I wasn't fake with those around me because that might be denying my pain but I wasn't trying to connect deeply either because connecting deeply wasn't possible when I felt that kind of insecurity. So, I just sat with those feelings inside me and allowed gentle friendships to
carry me for a bit. It was riding a wave and allowing
other people to keep me floating for a while.
Keeping quiet but floating helped me to get me to a space that felt a
bit calmer and safer. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUu5jizknJ14lTNwrgGDEzgMS6lG6Dc2QlNtvfa3DWTBjljSVtli6nGduiqHDtTG9svg1baOQ59_X5wdoRWUAdlpNpuIJAFBeIp5mlrY2xYobzOdjv50YTxVmHO4BVk1gmR56329EKrA-n/s1600/20170609_183218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUu5jizknJ14lTNwrgGDEzgMS6lG6Dc2QlNtvfa3DWTBjljSVtli6nGduiqHDtTG9svg1baOQ59_X5wdoRWUAdlpNpuIJAFBeIp5mlrY2xYobzOdjv50YTxVmHO4BVk1gmR56329EKrA-n/s320/20170609_183218.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The safety didn’t actually mean processing the insecure feelings! Safety was connecting to a friend who “gets”
it like I do. It was nice to just
by listen to her, something I enjoy doing, and feel as though I have something to offer. Safety came while fulfilling a commitment and
realizing “I am feeling so sad, I’m just not able to fulfill this commitment the
way I had hoped.” Being honest with myself while still honoring my commitment met
my need for authenticity. Listening to another beautiful friend express her
strength and self-awareness of her challenges made me feel thankful to get to
watch her as she blooms. Feeling insecure kept me quiet and what I received in that quiet seemed more beautiful as a result.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5A6-VvgBlufM2p6iCWfkBe968t1f5sY05FHU37iDoifJ1uCQLZJ1tJZLJ5tblPHGM349H_t2-fIJ3BjKAZdVIE5zz4hm-GjnWjgvR1oPn9aon7aNgs3UrSu9czcKEfzBhqnyYYfjdBZc/s1600/2017-06-05+10.13.31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU5A6-VvgBlufM2p6iCWfkBe968t1f5sY05FHU37iDoifJ1uCQLZJ1tJZLJ5tblPHGM349H_t2-fIJ3BjKAZdVIE5zz4hm-GjnWjgvR1oPn9aon7aNgs3UrSu9czcKEfzBhqnyYYfjdBZc/s320/2017-06-05+10.13.31.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Somehow, with those moments of safety, the insecure feelings just lived in me. I didn't try to understand them. I just went about my day and the humbling feeling gave me clarity to see the gifts that discomfort can bring. In that way, the discomfort and insecurity was honored.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think this is sometimes the way life goes. Sometimes we feel insecure and we get to choose what we do with that feeling. Disconnecting from it, though it is painful, dulls me to the beauty of life. Processing it in the moment wasn't actually going to serve me either, it would have felt like I was rushing through the feeling or spinning it in my head. Sitting with it, even though it was uncomfortable, gave me a new perspective which is maybe the point of that feeling anyway.</div>
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As a parent, partner,
friend, and contributer to the world, perhaps you’ll be given the same gift I
was yesterday; a gift that brings you rawness and clarity to see the beauty in this world with fresh eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-52630524235725637072017-04-05T08:59:00.007-07:002018-03-08T18:33:06.922-08:00"This is Where all the Nice Kids Are!"<br />
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A friend asked me recently if I had always planned to
homeschool. I explained that no, I hadn’t,
but after attending my first local non-secular homeschool picnic (THN for those
of you in Hamilton and Burlington Ontario), I knew that we needed to give it a
try.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a teacher, I had an idea of what a multi-age picnic would
look like. However, this picnic was
different. The kids were SO NICE! This was the kind of community that I wanted
for my kids! After the picnic, I
messaged my teacher friends to say “I’ve discovered where all the nice kids
are!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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You see, as a teacher, I knew that in a school environment
there are some kids that get labelled “nice kids” and as a teacher, you really
hope that your own child finds that group when they enter school. You also hope your receives
that label themselves. That label means
your kid is doing alright. The “nice
kids” avoid a lot of the bullying and drama and heartache that seems to find
the rest of the student body. Every
teacher enjoys their time with “the nice kids” because they are easy to get
along with and having them in your class makes your teaching job easier.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After the picnic, I wondered if I had stumbled upon some
magical land. The homeschoolers are really nice kids. Everyone I met would fall into my “nice
kids” label if they were in my classroom. Yet, I couldn't help but notice that the homeschool kids still have
meltdowns, they still struggle with things, basically they are still real kids! The more time we spent hanging out with the
homeschoolers, the more I realized how there was something wrong with my “nice
kids” label. This is a teacher’s version
of “de-schooling” by the way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga5m0Dt6_goPacl9liddZu5cEqS0-jpVcM9sJPOTD5Kp186FiM2WFtaDLylOoXIC5dPu_L-bW9C4aWPMxDKv_cYKUhee37gB3JHfhLlErcAbhM-WZSOqIERxSQaEtHqvjuQjzkB_6Tz6B3/s1600/nice+kid+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga5m0Dt6_goPacl9liddZu5cEqS0-jpVcM9sJPOTD5Kp186FiM2WFtaDLylOoXIC5dPu_L-bW9C4aWPMxDKv_cYKUhee37gB3JHfhLlErcAbhM-WZSOqIERxSQaEtHqvjuQjzkB_6Tz6B3/s1600/nice+kid+2.jpg" /></a>I feel uncomfortable saying this publicly, because so many
of my friends and family members are classroom teachers, but all kids are, in
fact, “nice kids”, it’s the school environment that creates the label dichotomy. I’ll say that again for all the parents who
have had a kid who struggled – I realize now that ALL KIDS ARE “NICE KIDS”. I say this in the sense that all kids are the
same, they are showing up, every day as a real person, with real legitimate
needs. Unfortunately, the school
environment is just not set up to meet their needs. In fact, it often amplifies their unmet needs
and can even create new needs! And so
kids get labelled. (As teachers, we give kids this label as our way of dealing with our own challenges and unmet needs but
that’s another blog post.)</div>
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So like every other human, kids show up to school with
needs. In a school environment, there is
one adult per approximately 20 children who can potentially help to meet those
needs. The environment is set up in such
a way that children are not empowered to meet their own needs, at least not
regularly or in a timely manner. So in an environment that seems impossibly unfair in getting those needs met, we add
in an element of competition which creates new needs. Kids then naturally discover coping mechanisms to try to
get their needs met in other ways or they become detached from their needs altogether. These options of indirectly meeting needs or
denying they exist, make it difficult for the child, teacher, and other
children to exist in the same space, let alone learn the curriculum. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Even if a child arrives at school with their needs regularly
met in their home environment, the school environment is competitive, without a
lot of support to navigate this competition and some kids who are “nice kids”
at home, may develop strategies to cope with the competition and hierarchy at
school, pushing them out of the “nice kids” category. I remember working with a child in JK who was
a “nice kid” at home but in her efforts to fit in at school, was saying mean
things to another student. This brought
up her social status within her group of school friends such that losing her “nice
kid” status was worth it to her. It was
her coping mechanism in this competitive environment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Personally, I wouldn’t have this insight without having had
the experience of homeschooling my kids and hanging out with so many
intelligent, dedicated homeschooling parents.
Homeschoolers are learning in a completely different environment, one in
which their needs are addressed directly and timely. The pace of homeschooling is less competitive
and slower, so just removing that stress is helpful. The home environment is usually more
empowering for kids to meet their own needs meaning that kids can take breaks,
get exercise, spend some time playing and just basically stay in tune with
their own needs so they can address them as they arise. Sometimes needs pop up that an empowered child
cannot meet on their own and when that is the case, the adult – child ratio is
usually much more favorable than the 1:20 ratio in a school classroom. Homeschooling has taught me that children,
when their needs are addressed, are content.
And content kids learn.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I just want to point out that even if your child is labelled a “nice kid”, check in with
them. Make sure they are not suffering behind that label too. Children who are perfectionists, hide their needs in the name of approval or try, to become detached from their
feelings are in just as much pain, yet sometimes get labelled as “the nice kids”. They sometimes like this label as they can hide behind it, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are doing alright as I mentioned above. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXgz-zNymyJp3sJp7Gzc32Vx7GlAUWXUXzndv8pLJWGbHmA3KiDLP_6mK9OcWS7voCF6EbqExfT5t3vaGr9BdxawtN5wzgMKwL6ToXziCLQNCvcjoDGRBvgIuv5u8M1tJ-TIHtV437YrBb/s1600/nice+kid+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXgz-zNymyJp3sJp7Gzc32Vx7GlAUWXUXzndv8pLJWGbHmA3KiDLP_6mK9OcWS7voCF6EbqExfT5t3vaGr9BdxawtN5wzgMKwL6ToXziCLQNCvcjoDGRBvgIuv5u8M1tJ-TIHtV437YrBb/s1600/nice+kid+1.jpg" /></a>I think I’m really lucky that I have been able to teach in
the public system AND homeschool my kids.
I feel really fortunate to have had both experiences and the learning
and reflection that comes from it. My
advice for parents, if they realize their child is expressing anything other
than contentment with their life, would be to try a different environment. Show
your child that getting needs met is important and model strategies about how
to do it. If you can homeschool, do it! It is the best kept secret in education! And if you cannot homeschool, keep looking
for other alternatives. We all deserve to be in environments where our needs
are met. That safe space is where human potential lies; potential for
contentment, peace, love, connection, and learning.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Critical Thinking Awareness Challenge: Type "nice kid" into a Google image search and tell me, what patterns do you see?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-57983513014296037182017-02-15T11:34:00.002-08:002018-03-08T18:35:00.807-08:0011 Easy to Follow Tips to Make Your Unschooling Journey a Complete Success for Everyone!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTpYF6K12Y2qyqocPoDblroase7E-2zWYv6ADDiIb7HICrbNVSER_phbSQ278SvtIVG30qYSxtMPaQVNdrLJylUYjjvw4J3rdMwoROXP8UQDyprmhsN23GPEGzawtVzjh6X__7YdTJXhsg/s1600/1jpnal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTpYF6K12Y2qyqocPoDblroase7E-2zWYv6ADDiIb7HICrbNVSER_phbSQ278SvtIVG30qYSxtMPaQVNdrLJylUYjjvw4J3rdMwoROXP8UQDyprmhsN23GPEGzawtVzjh6X__7YdTJXhsg/s640/1jpnal.jpg" width="552" /></a></div>
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Ha!…said no unschooler ever.
But if that title grabbed your interest, I suspect you might be new to
unschooling and perhaps you will find my list to be helpful. Or perhaps you have been unschooling for a while, scoffed at this title, and clicked on it for that reason? If you are not new to unschooling...maybe you can reflect on your own journey? It was reflecting on my own unschooling journey that helped me to create this list. Let's jump right in, shall we?</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There is no singular way to unschool.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Unschooling is essentially letting the
learner drive their own education…and be responsible for the outcomes.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The way this is done depends on many factors
including balancing family needs and the resources you have available which sometimes boils down to geography or community.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> So for example, a</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> family that lives in
the city might be in a better position to unschool by being immersed in the
local community.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">A family that lives in
a rural setting might be better off unschooling by strewing materials around to
be discovered.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">A family that has a new
baby may decide that they are going to scratch everything for a while and let
the baby be the learning!</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Unschooling is
really just living your life and learning as you go.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Unschooling requires significant amounts of time to
play, explore, create, think, daydream, and "veg". </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Much like a sleep cycle, the
brain goes through learning cycles that bring about different emotions and
require different energy levels.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Allowing for large blocks of time to pursue passions and interests and
just “be” is a large part of the “how to” in unschooling. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Don’t focus on the "outputs" as you may not see the "outputs" for years. Trust the path, trust the journey, trust the learner.</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Unschooling doesn’t mean “no routine”.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Some unschoolers think that to unschool, you
need to shed all forms of conformity or organization, but this is actually just one style of unschooling (radical unschooling).</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I think unschooling is more about allowing
each person to pursue their life on their terms and within the context of the
surroundings they find themselves in.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">So
if a family member thrives on routine, they should be encouraged to embrace
routines.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Find the routines that work
and toss the ones that don’t!</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Maybe your kid needs a lot of social outlets to stay energized and excited about life. A routine that involves regular social outlets will need to be part of the unschooling mix for that learner. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I need a certain amount of organization and routine in my
family to ensure that everyone’s needs met. Mornings are spent out of the house connecting
with peers and getting exercise in unstructured settings.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Afternoons are for little ones who nap and for those of us who don't nap, that's the time we spend building things, doing experiments, completing housework, watching Youtube, and getting some work
done for <a href="http://www.welearnnaturally.com/" target="_blank">We Learn Naturally</a>.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Deciding
whether there should be routines, what they should be, and how they should look is ideally a joint
conversation, where everyone’s needs are freely expressed and, if possible, the
routines created are mutually agreed upon. You may decide no routines feels best for everyone, and that's cool, but it's just as cool to be an organized, routine-loving unschooling family. Type A's can unschool too. ;)</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Unschooling does not mean that you are now a “permissive”
parent.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> A.S. Neill once said “Freedom does not equal license.”</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Wise words. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Even if your family decides you like the no routine lifestyle, it doesn't mean that you live without personal boundaries. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Freedom to make individual choices happens within
the context of a family, a community, and a larger society. As a parent, allowing your child to make their own choices doesn't mean you will get walked all over. If relinquishing control of learning to the kids leads your family to swing wildly into a zone that has you feeling ragged, it's time to think critically about your needs in this dynamic. Changing the power balance to allow for unschooling could mean that your family may need to find a new way of negotiating
different requests but the point is that all members of the family are respected. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Some people may mistake unschooling parents as permissive because </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">you need to give
your child large chunks of time to play and do their own thing, which can look permissive to others who are not familiar with this style of learning. In fact, unschooling families are anything but permissive. This style of learning requires</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> a really engaged, respectful style of parenting, which, quite t</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">ruthfully, I find to be both challenging and immensely rewarding.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I need to be aware of my own needs, values,
and insecurities so that I can stay in tune with where I end as a person and the child begins.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I regularly challenge myself
to keep my own needs in check so that I do not impose my own set of values without giving the learner the freedom to explore the other options.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I want them to come to their own conclusions
about life, and that involves conversation, research, and reflection.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">This style of education requires tremendous
trust on the part of the parents and the </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">work involved in reaching that place of trust requires
soul-searching reflection and critical thinking. Honestly, this style of learning looks permissive only because we are so used to controlling children and their learning.</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Your kid will need to deschool.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">As a rule of thumb, for every year that your
child has been in school, they will need one month of uninhibited, no pressure
what-so-ever deschooling.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">No worksheets,
no telling the child what to do or how to do it…just truly letting them
be.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I would also go a step further and say that children will need more time to deschool if they have spent time in a structured childcare environment or spent their summers and off-school hours in adult-directed camps.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Living with significant structure from a young age takes much longer to deschool.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span>I would also add that if you have engaged in traditional homeschooling for a while, where you as the adult in charge decided what is learned or assessed the learning in any way, you may find that your child might also need to deschool from you! You are changing the power dynamic between the two of you and that takes time to discover how that will look and feel. You may find that your child "tests boundaries", "over consumes" things that you used as rewards (screen time?), or avoids things that may have felt like a punishment (reading or writing?). These are common reactions in democratic free schools as well. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">In fact, some free schools or schools
that offer unschooling or Self-Directed Education, will not take children above
the age of 8 because they struggle to adapt to an SDE environment. The kids just can't get past the testing stage.</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You will need to deschool.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I've kind of touched on this one already. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Unschooling is essentially letting the
learner drive their own education…and be responsible for the outcomes.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Making the decision to unschool is often a
bigger deal for the parent.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">You will be
challenged to let go in ways you didn’t anticipate.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Sometimes the biggest challenge in
unschooling resides within you. You may find yourself thinking differently about things other than learning...the shift can be quite powerful!</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Grandparents and close friends may need to deschool
too for that matter. And if they don't, that's fine too.</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Lots of people will not care that you are
unschooling; some will be curious and some will be knowledgeable, but chances
are that you will come across a person or two who are uncomfortable with the
idea…and if those people love you, they may express their concerns frequently
or at high volumes.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">From their perspective, we live in a very
competitive environment and your loved ones want what is best for you and the
kids.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">My advice is to approach this
conversation as you would any other difficult conversation; </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">listen to their concerns as a way to show your
love, share your philosophy in an effort to connect, offer resources if they
are interested in learning more, and most importantly, let go of the struggles
that reside in *them*.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Remember,
ultimately, the choice to unschool came from your child and your wish to
support that.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Family and friends are more
like background noise and their expression of concerns are really the expression
of *their* needs and values.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The Polish phrase “Not
your circus, not your monkey” comes to mind.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Vobg0f9-0Nob9d39hSIbOdAD-XB_MBdSlAK71vUi5V9p2NNpI-KFen9SjdY4Fui_rHkfHLX1ZFvAD0GM1rGu5eHTqzI_7wYS1qw-rRtBcKyi-a21lD7OkfLQYZ_6AUqjzIfzxEkKa4Z0/s1600/not+my+circus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Vobg0f9-0Nob9d39hSIbOdAD-XB_MBdSlAK71vUi5V9p2NNpI-KFen9SjdY4Fui_rHkfHLX1ZFvAD0GM1rGu5eHTqzI_7wYS1qw-rRtBcKyi-a21lD7OkfLQYZ_6AUqjzIfzxEkKa4Z0/s320/not+my+circus.jpg" width="319" /></a></div>
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<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Unschooling needs to be a choice for each member of
the family who is involved in living it.
Unschooling is a mindset. </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Kids don’t usually ask directly to do unschooling,
but if they have never gone to school, they’ll just
naturally fall into it. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">As a parent, you
may decide that unschooling fits your personal philosophy on learning, but if
your child is requesting to attend school, explore that option with them.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">In fact, exploring that option and allowing
your child to make the choice to attend, or not attend, or attend for a day and
then quit, is part of the unschooling learning process. In fact, it is possible to be an
unschooler and attend a public school! </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">As
long as it is a freely made choice and the decision to leave and pursue
something else is a viable option, I would still consider you to be an “unschooling”
family.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If it is not a freely made
choice (such as a family divorce where one partner insists on a child attending
public school and the courts agree), the child may still approach life with an
unschooler’s attitude.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">That may mean
pursuing a passion outside of school and looking for ways to incorporate it in
school or rejecting the aspects of school that do not work (such as treating a mandatory project as just a chore that needs to
be done, putting little effort in, and accepting the poor mark.) </span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You may drift in your intensity of unschooling. </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We live in a culture that places
parents (and other adults) firmly in charge of children so it is not surprising
that parents find themselves feeling doubtful or fearful about their child’s chosen
learning path.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Radical unschoolers
challenge themselves to find ways to say “yes” to a child’s requests, but maybe
for whatever reason, that degree of unschooling doesn’t sit well with you
(yet).</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Some parents feel more comfortable
with project style unschooling or mixing in a bit of curriculum when they start
to feel panicky.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If you find yourself trying
to control what or how your child learns, it may indicate that you have more
deschooling to do but I wouldn’t advise a parent to let go of their “parental authority”
if they are not ready.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If you are not
feeling the unschooling vibe, take a break and force your child to do a
curriculum book.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">See where it takes
you.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Your kids may buck and refuse to do
it…where do those reactions lead you?</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It’s
your learning path as a parent and a person, so embrace it all! </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Ultimately, if you feel uncomfortable, take a
step back and find your footing again.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If you are trying to force yourself into the unschooling mindset, just know
that it cannot be forced, it can only emerge through self-awareness and freedom
of choice.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Forcing it in any direction
will lead to blaming yourself “I must be doing it wrong” or blaming others “unschooling
doesn’t work” which can be a vicious cycle and really isn’t in the spirit of unschooling.</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">An unschooler may start to reject other structured
activities, even if it isn’t school. </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">When my son first started to reject structured
activities, I started to wonder what was going on.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">“But you love soccer?!” </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Then I realized, he does want to play soccer, but once he learned some basic skills, he just wanted to do it on his terms for a while.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Structured
environments can be great for learning skills from others, so long as that is
your motivation for being there.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">When
signing up for activities with a young unschooler, you may want to ask if you
can try out a class first before paying for a whole session, just so your child
can get a sense of whether they are truly interested in spending their time
(and your money) in that environment.</span></li>
<li><span class="Heading1Char" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">An unschooler may prefer to spend time with others who
have an unschooler mindset. </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">As
you continue down the unschooling path, you may discover that your child
gravitates to other people with an unschooling mindset. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Family members who want to be in charge of children
and tell them what to do and when to do it may have a hard time establishing a
warm relationship with your child.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Your
child may start to drift apart from friends who have a need to rebel or a need
to please.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It kind of makes sense really;
your child will look for friends who value the same freedom of choice and have
similar levels of self-awareness.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Making
the choice to let go of friends who don’t really “get it” to make room for
friends who do is actually a good sign of becoming settled in the unschooling
journey.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">As children age, society will
welcome them as free-thinking adults more readily than as free-thinking
children.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Either way, they will find
their fit and they will benefit from the journey being their own.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<br />
So now that you have read my list,what do you think? For those of you who are veteran unschoolers,
have I forgotten anything? For those of you who are new, my main point is that we’re all on our own learning journeys. The messy, uncomfortable moments are just as valuable as the moments when everyone around you nods in approval. This is the path of depth and therein lies the beauty. I wish you
the best on your journey and if you are still in the approval-seeking stage in your deschooling process, I applaud you for attempting to walk along this messy beautiful path. ;)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-75967775698805304052017-02-04T12:07:00.003-08:002018-03-10T14:06:48.868-08:00Self Directed Education (SDE): A Natural, Child-Lead Way to Learn By Jessica Michaud<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<h3>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqi3svjipaI1cbQd3LhC-DgXeCt16_c4WVevCRp8gRN6ey3iosNjFNz9jZIXZw1fjXA8j3u9DWlnp4kdv0DU3mqwkdp3za3oMsbjrajjm90A_mW-uUIJq07HpNKGYHy8tu39WwW-0iZzHp/s1600/julianna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqi3svjipaI1cbQd3LhC-DgXeCt16_c4WVevCRp8gRN6ey3iosNjFNz9jZIXZw1fjXA8j3u9DWlnp4kdv0DU3mqwkdp3za3oMsbjrajjm90A_mW-uUIJq07HpNKGYHy8tu39WwW-0iZzHp/s320/julianna.jpg" width="179" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif;">From the Author:</span></b><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif;"> I’m
not sure when I discovered Self-Directed Education, but I do know that it has
formed the foundation of my views on education and child development. I find it
to be a continuum of many of the respectful parenting/child-care approaches I
have been trying to use. I would love for you to read this, my first blog, and
learn a little about Self Directed Education, and if this speaks to you, spread
the word to others! </span></span></h3>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">In “How Does Learning Happen: Ontario’s Pedagogy for the
Early Years” from the Ontario Ministry of Education, the authors state that
“[e]vidence from diversse fields of study tells us that… [c]hildren succeed in
programs that focus on active learning through exploration, play, and inquiry.
Children thrive in programs where they and their families are valued as active participants
and contributors” <w:sdt citation="t" id="-248348909"><!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>CITATION Ont14 \p 4 \y<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l 4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]-->(Ontario
Ministry of Education, p. 4)<!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:
field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>. In “The Kindergarden Program 2016”,
the authors discovered through extensive research that “…play-based learning
emerges as a focal point, with proven benefits for learning amoung children of
all ages, and indeed amoung adolescent and adult-learners” <w:sdt citation="t" id="1358471014"><!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>CITATION
The16 \p 10 \y<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l 4105 <span
style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]-->(Ontario Ministry of
Education, p. 10)<!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">These two early year frame work documents both align with the
foundational points of Self Directed Education. It values that the child is
whole and capable, and able to direct their own education, through playing,
exploring, inquiring and building positive relationships with both other children
and adults. Peter Gray, who is a psychologist from Boston College, has done an
extensive amount of research on democratic schools that support this model. He
has found that “[e]very time we reduce children’s opportunities for free play
by increasing their time at school or other adult-directed activities, we
further reduce their opportunities to learn to control their own lives, to
learn that they are not simply victims of circumstances and powerful others” <w:sdt citation="t" id="-1835056242"><!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:
field-begin'></span>CITATION Gra13 \p 18 \y<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>\l 4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]-->(Gray
P. , p. 18)<!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">Many parents and educators new to this model may have concerns:
how will children learn all that they need to learn? There are schools that
have been functioning for many years with documented success. One is the Sudbury
Valley School (SVS) in Massachusets, which has been running since 1968. This school
ranges in age from 4-18 years old and
the “school’s educational philosophy centers on the idea that, in an
environment with ample opportunities, children will educate themselves through their
own self-directed play and exploration”<w:sdt citation="t" id="-1895417008"><!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>CITATION Gra04 \p 109 \y<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\t<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l
4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]--> (Gray & Fieldman, p. 109)<!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>. Gray’s research has
shown that even reading can be attained, without forml education. He states
that “[a]s long as kids grow up in a literate society, surrounded by people who
read, they will learn to read. They may ask questions along the way and get a
few pointers from others who already know how to read, but they will take the
initiative in all these and orchestrate the entire process themselves”<w:sdt citation="t" id="-915869906"><!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:
field-begin'></span> CITATION Gra10 \l 4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]--> (Gray P. , Children Teach Themselves to Read,
2010)<!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>.
Through the years, studies have been done to follow the success of Sudbury
Valley School students, and overall they “have been highly successful in higher
education and careers, and most of them atribute much of their success to
lessons learned at SVS- lessons about their own interests, abilities and
responsibilities”<w:sdt citation="t" id="20512153"><!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span>CITATION Gra04 \p 110 \y<span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\t<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>\l
4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]--> (Gray & Fieldman, p. 110)<!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">Organizations are forming to raise awareness and understanding of what
SDE is, and try to provide research and education to parents and the community.
The Alliance for Self-Directed Education is a nonprofit organization who’s
“vision, is a world in which Self-Directed Education is embraced as a cultural
norm and is available to all children, everywhere, regardless of their famiy’s
status, race or income”<w:sdt citation="t" id="-1430499707"><!--[if supportFields]><span
style='mso-element:field-begin'></span> CITATION The \l 4105 <span
style='mso-element:field-separator'></span><![endif]--> (The Alliance for Self-Directed Education ,
n.d.)<!--[if supportFields]><span style='mso-element:field-end'></span><![endif]--></w:sdt>.
They are membership based, and have a lot of resources and information. They
also give you access to other organizations and experts that are also
supporting the awareness of SDE. Individual citizens, as well as organizations,
such as We Learn Naturally, are able to team up and spread awareness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">In conclusion, I believe Self Directed Education to be
complementary to the natural style in which children learn. If you’re
interested in learning more, I would recommend becoming familiar with the
Alliance for Self Directed Education. I would also recommend becoming part of
communities that support SDE, such as We Learn Naturally. They have programs
that provide this type of learning environment for children of all ages. As
well, I recommend you share your feelings and views with others- the more
people become aware of the research and experiences, the more common SDE will
be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">References<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if supportFields]><span
lang=EN-CA style='font-family:"Cambria",serif;mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin;
mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin'><span style='mso-element:field-begin'></span><span
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> </span>BIBLIOGRAPHY<span style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
</span>\l 4105 <span style='mso-element:field-separator'></span></span><![endif]--><span lang="EN-CA">Gray, P. (2010, February 24). <i>Children
Teach Themselves to Read.</i> Retrieved from Psychology Today:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201002/children-teach-themselves-read</span><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-no-proof: yes;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span lang="EN-CA">Gray, P. (2013). <i>Free to Learn.</i> New
York: Basic Books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span lang="EN-CA">Gray, P., & Fieldman, J. (2004).
Playing in the Proximal Zone of Development. <i>American Journal of Education</i>,
108-145.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span lang="EN-CA">Ontario Ministry of Education. (2014). <i>How
Does Learning Happen? Ontario's Pedagogy for the Early Years.</i> Toronto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<span lang="EN-CA">Ontario Ministry of Education. (2016). <i>The
Kindergarden Program.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--[if supportFields]><span lang=EN-CA style='font-size:11.0pt;line-height:
115%;font-family:"Cambria",serif;mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:
Calibri;mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin;
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;
mso-ansi-language:EN-CA;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA'><span
style='mso-element:field-end'></span></span><![endif]--><br />
<div class="MsoBibliography" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<i><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-no-proof: yes;">The Alliance for Self-Directed Education </span></i><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-no-proof: yes;">. (n.d.). Retrieved from
https://www.self-directed.org/<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-30457903289220611132017-02-04T05:08:00.002-08:002018-03-08T18:37:07.074-08:00Labels Part 2I've never had a blog before starting We Learn Naturally, so I'm learning as I go how they work. While looking for a past blog post, I noticed that <a href="http://welearnnaturallyblog.blogspot.ca/2015/07/labels_16.html" target="_blank">my blog post Labels</a> had over 500 hits! Woah. When did that happen? How did that happen? So I decided to reread the post to see why it might have been so popular.<br />
<br />
When I read <a href="http://welearnnaturallyblog.blogspot.ca/2015/07/labels_16.html" target="_blank">Labels</a> again, I had fresh eyes. In the post, I gave an example of a mother's push back to break free of an ADHD label on her child. I recognize that not all mothers have that privilege. In fact, children are often born into multiple societal labels related to age, race, gender, sexual preference, religion, culture, and social class...and these labels are exceedingly difficult to push back on. The word intersectionality comes to mind.<br />
<br />
H<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/mississauga-mom-launches-complaint-after-police-handcuff-her-6-year-old-daughter-1.3964827" target="_blank">earing about the six year old girl from Mississauga, who is black, in a single parent home, with a mother who has cancer, (notice the number of labels this young girl falls under) who was restrained in handcuffs</a>...sadly this doesn't shock me. While I hope that restraining a child in handcuffs does not ever happen in Ontario, I know that it is happening in the US, where the 'school to prison pipeline' is more pronounced. (Just writing that phrase "school to prison pipeline" sends shivers through my body, so if you shiver reading that, I'm with you.) It may be illegal to spank or use corporal punishment in school, but it is not illegal to threaten, scare, punish, shame, or demean a little person who has is consistently "out of line" with school authority. Even if it is not happening to your kid, this style of discipline is probably happening to other kids at your child's school. This is the school environment for many public schools in Ontario and it happens most often where the populations are vulnerable and kids carry multiple labels. We know through studies involving spanking or other forms of corporal punishment that there is an escalation of violence or an escalation of force when using negative reinforcement. Well, the same is true if force or violence is used in a school setting. Now, I realize I have a broader view of what violence entails than your regular Facebook moms' group (thanks to nonviolent communication), but basically schools are using reinforcement tactics that are violent with our most vulnerable young people. (Violence meaning basically anything that brings about harm or pain.)<br />
<br />
Since starting Learning in the Woods, I have been humbled by the number of emails we receive from, usually moms, who have stories that are on the same vein as the Mississauga 6 year old. Perhaps their child was not restrained by handcuffs or has fewer labels, but they are certainly desperate for an educational alternative for their child. Moms who are in the difficult position of trying to explain to their child that they are not the problem, or that adults like teachers, principals, and police should be trusted, or that schools should be safe. What an impossible task, right? How do you undo those messages of violence and power? How does a mom with a job and her own set of labels and pain take on that entire system? (Answer: She doesn't, at least she can't do that alone which is why we need to support this Mississauga mother by <a href="mailto:communications@peelsb.com" target="_blank">writing to the superintendent</a> or saying no to shame and violence at your child's public school. Or if you are a mom fighting it alone, maybe you conserve your energy and direct it towards figuring out how to get your child out of that specific violent environment.) <br />
<br />
When I receive these calls, emails, or PM's, it's sometimes hard to know how to offer support. Not only, is the mainstream school system not serving their child, it is damaging them. As parents grapple with how best to navigate among just a few alternatives to main stream education (which will be one alternative stronger with the opening of <a href="http://www.welearnnaturally.com/" target="_blank">The Barn School!</a>) I can't help but notice that the kid has a better shot at breaking free of the labels and systemic violence if their parents also break free. The truth is, that without parents acting as strong advocates, it's really hard for a child to endure that alone without some sort of repercussion.<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tjUcAjtvnHo/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tjUcAjtvnHo?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
Here is a <a href="http://www.akilahsrichards.com/" target="_blank">Self-Directed Education (SDE) advocate and mom </a><a href="http://www.akilahsrichards.com/" target="_blank">Akilah Richards</a> sharing her reasons behind choosing SDE. She is a writer and poet, so her words will inspire you to "raise your child as a free person" with a "right to design their own path" (paraphrased) better than I ever could. <br />
<br />
As awful as this experience has been for this family, I can see that it brings about an opportunity for conversation and the possibility to create some real change in our public education system. I find that inspiring! I want to be part of that! But this real life story also reminds me why I chose to get out of the public system and start something new. I need real alternatives to be available now. I have a need for security and healing for those around me. I can use my privilege to bring an alternative forward for those who cannot wait or do not have the patience to work through systemic change. I see the work of We Learn Naturally as being part of a larger change that we are probably all motivated to see happen. This is just my route and I look forward to seeing where it leads me. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-5515544749701397622017-02-01T08:10:00.004-08:002018-03-08T18:38:48.806-08:00Our connection to Little Seeds<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever since our guest lecturer, Peter Gray, a lot of people
have been interested in Learning in the Woods, The Barn School, Little Seeds,
and the Burlington-Hamilton Unschoolers.
With all these names, it gets a little confusing so I thought I would
try to explain how all of these groups are related.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard to know how far back to start this story! I’m also really bad at narrowing down a
story. I’m one of those people who
thinks “But all the details are important!”. Here it goes. The beginning is the most confusing I think.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Children provide us with an opportunity to change us as people. They challenge us to think critically about old
ways of doing things and give us a chance to reinvent ourselves. That is what parenthood did for me
anyway. Can you relate to that? Did parenthood change your perspective forever also? After my first child was born, I was reading a lot of Attachment Parenting, RIE, and peaceful parenting blogs and books. Facebook was just blowing up and more accessible to me with smart phones becoming more affordable so I was posting a lot
on my personal Facebook page about my "radical" parenting ideas. I thought everyone I knew would be as inspired
as I was but my friends and family didn’t necessarily share my newfound
passion. :/ I noticed my posts were
distancing people and that was never my intention, so I created a separate Facebook
page to explore my parenting ideas and I called that page Curious Mom E.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOTOpSidahtUuwovAHUKRwPhPo-OE89XX3eXXRRG7fo94bYmfcwQalsrEhVaTEjZFyqx0V4bEO_jrEBFvxG99EiMBUKpAmITaECZBwiGp3Jd5XnQ5i1EobyqYmdwocHtH694-_9nZ2srYt/s1600/IMG_20160720_110304.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOTOpSidahtUuwovAHUKRwPhPo-OE89XX3eXXRRG7fo94bYmfcwQalsrEhVaTEjZFyqx0V4bEO_jrEBFvxG99EiMBUKpAmITaECZBwiGp3Jd5XnQ5i1EobyqYmdwocHtH694-_9nZ2srYt/s320/IMG_20160720_110304.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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After my maternity leave, I was back at work as a public
school kindergarten teacher, applying my positive parenting techniques and
loving the results. I had a principal
who placed a lot of trust in me to try new things and as I did, the kids in my
class were flourishing. I felt empowered
to explore things further. I started to
really challenge myself to understand the ideal learning environment for all
kids. I thought of some of my favourite students
and how their diagnoses of ADHD and autism really didn’t fit with the public
system’s style of learning. Other students
were really arts-centered or into building with their hands and I saw that their
passions were never valued equally as math and language or science. Watching those kids lose self-esteem because their
skill sets were not in line with what our public schools valued, marked, and
tested made my heart break. A person’s
worth should not be determined by how well they fit into the narrow definition
of what the system deems valuable…can you relate to that?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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By now, “Curious Mom E” was filling up with a lot of posts
related to parenting and my educational philosophy involving self-directed
education and nature play. Thinking of my
own child entering school, I looked around for alternatives and was
disheartened by the lack of options in our area. Somehow I convinced my husband that we should
sell our lovely house so that we could finance our own private school. Within 6 months we had bought the land in
hopes that we could build The Barn School.
I started a Facebook Page by that name and started to hone my vision for
that by posting my educational philosophy posts there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuN1WwUTha8CmpOClhi4brGzRjk4F_JhAgTfc2HfC6NqhMdNtgU0Af7iEbd3q2HYk7zkxmFa6sEADTt2jwAGmujyW6fd64DZ7Ju_xIPz9OrkfyKP-GOIPY0-pdwY9w5LKdDHNigUcx1q7S/s1600/IMG_20160927_103156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuN1WwUTha8CmpOClhi4brGzRjk4F_JhAgTfc2HfC6NqhMdNtgU0Af7iEbd3q2HYk7zkxmFa6sEADTt2jwAGmujyW6fd64DZ7Ju_xIPz9OrkfyKP-GOIPY0-pdwY9w5LKdDHNigUcx1q7S/s320/IMG_20160927_103156.jpg" width="240" /></a>Around that same time, I met Meaghan and told her I was
starting a private school. She
introduced me to the homeschooler community and I was excited to learn that
that alternative was thriving. The moms
I met were intelligent, fun, and interesting to talk to. Looking for a little extra income to justify
staying home with my kids to homeschool while I worked on Barn School, I
created a hom<o:p></o:p></div>
e daycare for homeschooler moms who needed an occasional break. I didn’t have a website but I got a Facebook
page and called that “Little Seeds”. I
started to post articles about child-lead learning, free play, and nature play
on Little Seeds. After 4 months and very
little interest in the style of home daycare I was offering, I put that idea to
rest. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really wanted to offer my son some multi-age child-lead experiences
and was hoping the home daycare would be the ticket but most homeschoolers and
moms with young babies actually like to be home with their kids (imagine
that!) So it dawned on me that if I wanted
to give my son those experiences, the moms and dads should be there too. During a snowy winter playdate with Meaghan,
we hammered out the philosophy behind Little Seeds as it is known today. An outdoor nature-based playgroup for kids of
all ages where the kids could have a chance to explore on their own terms. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of creating a new Facebook page, I decided it made
more sense to use my fairly inactive Little Seeds page since it was full of
relevant content and just a handful of moms who were in the group. We started to post events and shared the page
on Facebook wherever it made sense. I posted
on Attachment Parenting Moms Hamilton, Meaghan shared it on some of her homeschooler
group pages. Our first events were in
the winter, a tough season to encourage people to get outside for several hours
at a time. Meaghan, Ellen, Trish and I began
to meet once or twice a week in the woods, in the snow. We were pretty formal back then, trying to
establish a culture I suppose. We had a
meeting to start and finish, which the kids hated. But they loved the child lead play in the
woods.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvFTK96_K6bfCLQEsSEN3Uk7ttIIINQFQW1_wMTnjIAIk9Fb3jYg8bnMYfQVMACYCM6XOxEXd4OsaJQ9LCb3OwtxEuo6w0UsfDJb_zLmyfUTQRKv6GsOAGYnJONZKbc2vBpkEXwTgnYp2/s1600/IMG_20160927_102938.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvFTK96_K6bfCLQEsSEN3Uk7ttIIINQFQW1_wMTnjIAIk9Fb3jYg8bnMYfQVMACYCM6XOxEXd4OsaJQ9LCb3OwtxEuo6w0UsfDJb_zLmyfUTQRKv6GsOAGYnJONZKbc2vBpkEXwTgnYp2/s320/IMG_20160927_102938.jpg" width="240" /></a>By spring, we had several families checking us out, though
not on a regular basis. Well except for Tanya, who is our Learning in the Woods Director today! We knew from
doing it for several months that there was value in coming regularly and
frequently so that the kids could establish and maintain friendships. We also started to see that the forest became
“another friend”. Returning to the same location every week helped to build
that friendship with a natural space. We
started to think about how to offer that on a more regular basis, and Learning
in the Woods was born. (See blog post
The <o:p></o:p></div>
Birth of Learning in the Woods, link to be added at a later date.)<br />
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In the spring, as more families came to check us out, we had
some learning leaps. We realized this
style of play is not for every adult (though I would argue it is for every kid). Some parents feel really uncomfortable
letting kids play with sticks or climb rocks and trees. Other parents wanted to direct the children more
in terms of social skills such as forcing “sharing” or pressuring everyone to
play together. Also around that time
there was a death at a local Hamilton hiking trail due to a fallen tree and
that spurred a conversation about liability.
We talked to a lawyer who guided us to stick with our values of
democracy and equality and we decided that everyone would be a page manager and
share in the responsibility of planning and offering events.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Little Seeds has been running for two years and now that I
am on maternity leave with my third baby, I find myself tapping into that Little
Seeds community once again. It’s nice to
be able to create an event that works for your schedule and driving radius and
hang out with other like-minded families.
We now have a sharing day on Mondays where members can share their home
business or related events and support each other in that way. I think it is still maybe a bit intimidating
for new families to come out to events but Heather Boyd, one of our original
members, moved to Niagara-on-the-lake and created a Little Seeds Niagara group
there. In a short period of time, she
gained a lot of local interest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I think what I like best about Little Seeds is that no one
is in charge. It was really just about
people coming together to give their kids some time in a natural setting (as
opposed to a playground) to play without too many rules or adult interference. It’s reassuring to see there is a community
of people out there who value that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1Is2_IZDrUzY3WkbRsbs06MOrEA1jYYwIok2NkALPuDXxY8_7FE8y7ZCoG0jG5ebn9sgRidpXUtwfU95w8yMz_HdLlHq9Nx5EJOD9MjSL9AwaGJaaBCwy8z71dCa4RtxhwNYngO7y6OA/s1600/IMG_20160720_104412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1Is2_IZDrUzY3WkbRsbs06MOrEA1jYYwIok2NkALPuDXxY8_7FE8y7ZCoG0jG5ebn9sgRidpXUtwfU95w8yMz_HdLlHq9Nx5EJOD9MjSL9AwaGJaaBCwy8z71dCa4RtxhwNYngO7y6OA/s320/IMG_20160720_104412.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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In my next blog, I’ll share how Learning in the Woods came
to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-7476281041015865032017-01-31T12:46:00.001-08:002018-03-08T18:40:26.610-08:00Respecting all our needs<div class="MsoNormal">
Parenting has been such a transformative experience for me. My kids are constantly teaching me what it
means to be human. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoioChWwX-OvgDww4Jrsiqdo43WmmeoR3Qg3BBsj26WZsBbTPBP47tEFiFHugQ4zmZrDs0k9WwfnS_UY-CeBMD9u7hBbfHK4grQTkilZkct6iGEE8pvfWnKRpNU0YRCpTjM6VTSpbnu8jL/s1600/20161111_114948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoioChWwX-OvgDww4Jrsiqdo43WmmeoR3Qg3BBsj26WZsBbTPBP47tEFiFHugQ4zmZrDs0k9WwfnS_UY-CeBMD9u7hBbfHK4grQTkilZkct6iGEE8pvfWnKRpNU0YRCpTjM6VTSpbnu8jL/s320/20161111_114948.jpg" width="180" /></a>One of the nicest things about being a family with three kids is
watching my older two children interact with the baby. Every time the baby cries out a need, the older two kids come running. Not necessarily
because they are able to do anything to help but because they recognize her
helpless cry and want to watch as her needs are addressed. “Mumma!
The baby is crying!” they shout. They sit
with her as tears roll down her cheeks and insist that I run to the baby with a sense
of urgency. When the baby smiles or coos
or gazes deeply into their eyes, my older two children melt with love. Their baby is safe and happy, so they feel
safe and happy too. I’ve been watching
these interactions since the baby's birth and my heart swells every time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Watching my children as we care for our newest family
member, it dawned on me, every time I respond lovingly to the baby’s cries, it
reaffirms my willingness to love and care for the older two. It reaffirms that our family is a loving and
safe place where needs are responded to. When our baby is scared to be surrounded by adults she
doesn’t recognize, or give her extra-long nursing naps when she has a stuffy nose, my older two are reminded of the love I have provided and continue to
offer them. Since the arrival of this baby, my kids have experienced the purest form of empathy. They
can relate so much to what the baby is going through that my responses to the baby also
serve to soothe them. They know
how it feels to be scared, then reassured with a loving embrace or the experience of a physical discomfort followed by a response of understanding and
tenderness. By caring for the baby, we reinforce our family’s willingness to care for all our family’s members. There isn't a hierarchy of needs, all of our needs are valued and respected.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This past week has been a challenging one for me to see unfolding on social media and on the news. Some of the events have left me at a loss for words, feeling
scared, confused, and heartbroken. As a Canadian, the murders of 6 Muslim men in Quebec by a white man with a history of hateful racist online comments has me feeling especially sad. And yet, as I care for my baby and watch my older
two children empathize along with her, I cannot help but think, therein
lies the answer for society too. To
soothe our societal fears and heartbreak, we can lovingly, respectfully, work
to understand and meet the needs of the most vulnerable. Who among us is in pain? In small but sincere ways we can stand with our
community’s most vulnerable and, in responding to their requests for love and safety,
we can meet our own needs for safety and love too. <br />
<br />
My children have taught me that we all feel
more secure when we see the most vulnerable among us are well cared for. It's one of the underlying principles at Learning in the Woods and our future Barn School. By honoring the needs of the most vulnerable around us, we show that all needs are respected. <br />
<br />
I am learning so much from my kids. I am so thankful for this timely lesson.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-39900221643463808872017-01-14T08:09:00.002-08:002018-03-08T18:42:06.016-08:00How I cut down on sibling fighting<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL60Y-YUj73SOWd_9Gwnwa6qwb2JXHNL0_nPdtOgF8ldR9oTohSq1u8MM9oil4MnSTEowZx2xSCdCBmbBMh6HQ_8m0TmEXCl2RR5Rdk7RSzw1LF_goT-uRnM9JThS15XVKgSZgqCyzKmSY/s1600/20170112_173634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL60Y-YUj73SOWd_9Gwnwa6qwb2JXHNL0_nPdtOgF8ldR9oTohSq1u8MM9oil4MnSTEowZx2xSCdCBmbBMh6HQ_8m0TmEXCl2RR5Rdk7RSzw1LF_goT-uRnM9JThS15XVKgSZgqCyzKmSY/s320/20170112_173634.jpg" width="180" /></a>My kids have been erupting into physical fights a lot this past week and I just can’t stand it. This is a picture of the cause of most of their fights this week. That's right, it's a pinwheel, bought at a big box store for $1.99. Pinwheels are awesome and I have two kids who love pinwheels. So why did I only buy one of them?!? I'm not sure but I asked that question aloud so often this week that my kids would sometimes stop fighting and say, "ya mumma, why did you buy us only one?!" For my own sanity, I should have bought none at all or two of them. I blame this "mistake" on my attempts at minimalism mixed with my sometimes idealistic approach to parenting; "By buying one, my kids will have the opportunity to play together and perhaps work on their negotiation skills". Ha. Not this week.</div>
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A Facebook
friend, <a href="http://www.sarahrosensweet.com/">Sarah Rosensweet</a>, is a Toronto-based
parenting coach and she regularly does workshops on this sort of thing. The other day she asked her FB friends “What is your
biggest parenting challenge?” I responded flatly with “sibling fighting”. Sarah (with an emphasis on "sweet" in her lsat name Rosensweet) said “That’s so hard!” and provided <a href="http://theschoolyard.ca/siblingrivalry/">a link to her blog post on
sibling rivalry (found here).</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://www.sarahrosensweet.com/#home2">Sarah</a>’s tips were things I do and promote; empathize with your children’s feelings, stay neutral and help them if they need it, connect with your children as a preventative measure, and help your children connect with each other. Recognizing that I already “know” this, I needed to reframe. My Nonviolent Communication (NVC) reading prompted me to view the fighting as an expression of unmet needs… Sometimes they just don’t know how to navigate a situation and need my help finding the words to negotiate with each other. And my kids have been amazing with the arrival of the baby but I cannot fill their buckets the same way that I could when there were only two kids. OK. I could see that I am not able to meet their needs as easily as I used to and their fighting is an expression of their unmet needs…but why was it bothering *ME* so much?<br />
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I reread <a href="http://www.sarahrosensweet.com/#home2">Sarah</a>’s response. It was such a simple expression of empathy - “That’s so hard!” I lingered there, realizing I needed more of that. I started to realize that even if I recognize their need for love or support, I am not always able to meet it and that is hard for me! Their fighting reminds me of my challenges as a mom to three young children and of my own unmet needs. In fact, when they are fighting, I actually add to the problem by yelling my need into the mix; “Stop fighting! I can’t stand all this fighting!” And then I try to use my parental power to dominate the situation to stop the fighting. Oh goodness. That's not what I want. I need some empathy and I want to stop the cycle of fighting, power, and domination.<br />
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If I were a little more NVC in that moment I would say “When I hear you fighting I feel frustrated that I cannot meet your needs!” or “When I hear you fighting I feel overwhelmed because I need a break and there is no one here to give me a break right now.” Or “When I hear you arguing, I feel irritated because I need quiet to put the baby to sleep. I can help you better if she is asleep.” I kept going; identifying my needs and sometimes making the requests I wish I had thought of in the moment. I started to soften.<br />
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The shift in my mind was unexpected. With enough self empathy, I wasn't triggered to throw my needs into the ring when both kids were loudly, violently expressing theirs. I could see my children’s fighting as simply an expression of their needs. I wasn't pulled into it on that level anymore. Once again, I found myself saying things like “I hear your need for ____. I will help you ____ (now, as soon as the baby is asleep, after I finish peeing, tonight when Daddy gets home, etc.) Just identifying their needs aloud made them feel heard, and even if they were not resolved in the moment, that verbalizing on my part drastically cut down on their fighting, which triggered me less and we began to move out of the fighting/yelling/domination cycle. <br />
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But how did our loving, peaceful parenting, bed sharing family get there? Well, although our new baby is wonderful and we love her completely, it has been a huge adjustment for everyone, especially me. She's a new little being with her own set of needs, thrown into the mix of a regular random expression of needs from my two other little beings who count on me to help them navigate, understand, and sometimes meet their needs. Another part of the challenge for me is that the fighting simply exists. I reread <a href="http://www.sarahrosensweet.com/#home2">Sarah</a>’s first line of her blog post; “Sibling rivalry is so hard for us as parents- even though it’s perfectly common and normal.” Hmmm…sibling rivalry is common and normal. I want peace in my home and peace in my world, but when I am struggling with my own needs, I become reactionary and revert to old habits (of yelling, commanding, domination). My “Stop fighting!” reaction was only reinforcing the very thing I was trying to move past. I bet this yelling under stress is a common reaction to people like me who are new to positive parenting and I can see why my kids are doing it. Dr. Riane Eisler's work has been on my mind lately. All of us are saturated in a culture that teaches us to use power and domination to meet our needs. Without love and empathy, we fall into that old domination script when our needs are unmet.<br />
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But we don’t have to. I thought about <a href="http://www.sarahrosensweet.com/#home2">Sarah</a>’s words to me “It is so hard!” Just a little bit of empathy from Sarah was all I needed to bring me out of that cycle. Marshall Rosenburg would say that’s what every parent needs, every child needs, every one of us needs to move towards more peace. More soft places where we don’t have to fight to get our needs met. It is so hard and yet it’s also so simple. And freeing. Parenting is our children's first environment, their first exposure to culture. If I want a more peaceful world, it's important for me to start with myself.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66P5cDFhcIQsaO52jG88Y1E9LrP08QiuxkF-kOxxopEchCDd3u_JRqNO7D9sBDG3-quJqnltgCzG8vQQzmTNWQjDtjQ8pzJoDZSMcWkGI234Oy6WqxYJB6q0oHmt24KxHWHqUqVb1EmWT/s1600/peaceful+parenting.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66P5cDFhcIQsaO52jG88Y1E9LrP08QiuxkF-kOxxopEchCDd3u_JRqNO7D9sBDG3-quJqnltgCzG8vQQzmTNWQjDtjQ8pzJoDZSMcWkGI234Oy6WqxYJB6q0oHmt24KxHWHqUqVb1EmWT/s640/peaceful+parenting.jpg" /></a><br />
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So, lesson to self: Identify my own needs and empathize with myself so I am able to help others. This is how I spread peace in the world. Got it. Again. At least until next time my needs are high and I forget. Oh and always buy enough pinwheels. ;) </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-50190709504739542592016-11-13T12:16:00.003-08:002018-03-08T18:44:47.341-08:00Inspiring Superheroes<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRQEFhNVad4Oivddpd6SYQgHzz0pnBklE21v3DCbl2sQk4zhxUibmj25uzCb6cAvqz10Lhtt0D9wB7lrrRGBGOAlHC73Yd2jVug0CsYGPpK_Wq6m6_TqecCcVC9oCPAL692bcS9GxMC7r/s1600/20161110_075752.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQRQEFhNVad4Oivddpd6SYQgHzz0pnBklE21v3DCbl2sQk4zhxUibmj25uzCb6cAvqz10Lhtt0D9wB7lrrRGBGOAlHC73Yd2jVug0CsYGPpK_Wq6m6_TqecCcVC9oCPAL692bcS9GxMC7r/s320/20161110_075752.jpg" width="180" /></a>I was all set to devote my blog writing time to the next
segment in my quest to compare SDE, Public Education, Montessori, and Waldorf styles of
learning when I got side-tracked by the US election. I suddenly had a lot to process*. I just needed to hold still for a moment. Then I needed new hope, new inspiration. Enter Sunbeam. This past summer, my son’s dear friend who is
in public school, was enrolled in a half day arts summer camp entitled Heroes
and Villains. My son is not into programs with a lot of structure but he loves his friend and in an
effort to spend more time with him, he decided to take part. He spent four days working on this creation. When he finished the art camp, he didn’t want anyone to gush
over his art as he detests insincerity and he had no interest in talking about it. So
we hung his art in his bedroom and didn’t talk about it.</div>
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Wednesday night, as I helped him get ready for bed, I asked
him “Can you tell me a little bit about Sunbeam? Is Sunbeam a superhero or a villain?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Sure. She’s a
hero.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was surprised. I
thought Sunbeam was a boy because so many Superheroes are males and since a
little boy created him, I just assumed that he would create a male
character. “She’s a girl? And a Superhero?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Yes! Can’t you see
the long green hair? And the cape?” He was annoyed that I didn’t see this.</div>
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“I guess I saw the frown and just assumed Sunbeam was an
angry villain.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Yes, she is frowning.
Superheroes frown too you know.
When she is happy, sunbeams come out of her eyes and her light shines
everywhere and everyone feels warm inside.
When she is angry, the sunbeams are like electric shocks and she shocks
the bad guys. When she is sad, it is
truly sad, because the sunbeams that come from her eyes are like she is losing
energy, the sunbeams are like her blood.
She is frowning because she is the only superhero and there are A LOT of
bad guys that she has to fight. And she
could really use a vacation.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wow. He put a lot of
thought into that. What an interesting
superhero! Suddenly I felt inspired
again and here is why. <a href="http://welearnnaturallyblog.blogspot.ca/2015/07/invited-conversations.html"> Invited Conversations</a> is one of my favorite
blog posts not because I feel proud of the writing but because I believe so
strongly in the message. It’s about how
important it is to surround yourself with people that inspire you, not just for
your own growth and development but for your children too. When your kids are nearby, they soak up everything
you bring in their space. Learning about
Sunbeam helped me realize that over the past two years, my son has played at
Little Seeds, Learning in the Woods, and Barn School meetings with inspiring
women talking nearby. He has played in the sun
as we shared our joys and struggles as mothers who are trying to do something
different. So of course Sunbeam is a
woman. Of course she is a
superhero. Of course she has a full
range of emotions with the power to light up the room, shock the “bad guys”,
and feel drained in her sadness. Isn't that the description of all great mothers everywhere?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbz4-jvS93wmAuMGbDuafKR0QooeDducWHio133H_wph8qBJxIF2sN6ix7ibpqzkIy4NbmhJ-96AsekhcilNo_VfJntaGhHHLp9N_9MRA2a2Fi1ouh5EK5ceFljcx_bCdTO_odDIPdyIib/s1600/20161112_113838.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbz4-jvS93wmAuMGbDuafKR0QooeDducWHio133H_wph8qBJxIF2sN6ix7ibpqzkIy4NbmhJ-96AsekhcilNo_VfJntaGhHHLp9N_9MRA2a2Fi1ouh5EK5ceFljcx_bCdTO_odDIPdyIib/s320/20161112_113838.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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Thursday morning I woke up thinking of Sunbeam again. I asked my son if I could have the painting
when he was done with it. He smiled and
said yes, recognizing that I truly appreciated his art. My heart swelled with love. All superheroes have moments when they feel like the job is bigger than they are but they keep going because that is their job. I was inspired again and if you are feeling lost or overwhelmed, I hope you find your
inspiration too because, my fellow Sunbeams, the world needs us more than ever
to shine our light and shock the bad guys. </div>
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And apparently there are a lot of bad guys and no time for a vacation! <o:p></o:p></div>
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*If you are in a place where you are processing a lot of
emotions and finding it difficult to move forward, I would recommend this read
by Yoga guru and Blissology creator Eion Finn.
It’s in line with what we are trying to do at We Learn Naturally; create
a space where emotions are processed and expressed in their entirety without
judgement or pressure to move past them in an effort to make other people more
comfortable. <a href="http://www.blissology.com/blog/light-soon-but-first-tears/">http://www.blissology.com/blog/light-soon-but-first-tears/</a><o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-79540367869744451762016-11-01T12:33:00.004-07:002016-11-03T17:27:44.812-07:00Comparison of Self-Directed Education (SDE), Public Schools, Montessori, and Waldorf Philosophies Part 2: How is the Day Structured? How does that reflect the purpose or philosophy?<div class="MsoNormal">
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In this series of blogs, I’ll tackle how each of these
facets of SDE compare to the Ontario Public Education System (which is similar
to most other state-run educational systems), Montessori Philosophy and Waldorf
Philosophy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Self-Directed
Education (SDE): The learner has unlimited
freedom to play, explore, and pursue own interests.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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For SDE to work effectively, children need ample time to
discover the world and their interests within it. Although every SDE school is different, most
offer large chunks of time for kids to explore, create, play, and think. Most SDE schools aim to provide three hour
chunks for their learners to pursue their interests. Without a schedule to follow and the absence of pressure to perform, their motivation to take on a challenge is internal. Free time affords them the ability to think things
through to completion, reach greater depth in their understanding of concepts
or make-believe games, experiment and make mistakes, and, most importantly, feel the frustration of
a self-imposed challenge and the exhilaration of learning, creating, or
achieving. With this time and freedom, they can potentially achieve “flow”. <o:p></o:p></div>
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SDE looks to provide time to struggle with a concept,
achieve the high of performing, and down time to reflect and regroup for the
next round. This is the essence of
self-directed learning. It is intrinsically
motivated but it certainly isn't easy.
Perhaps this is why SDE’s place a high value on the ability of their facilitators
to help kids process their feelings. We
know they are challenging themselves to do difficult things and it feels uncomfortable. Non-judging, supportive adults can help kids reflect
and find ways to work through the struggle if they need it. (See the comparison post on community and
culture, link to be added at a later date.) <o:p></o:p></div>
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At the Barn School, we intend to start each day with a small
community check-in. That way the group
has a chance to connect, plan their activities, offer each other support or
join in something that sounds interesting, and facilitators can see what kids
want their support. Announcements are
made about the group activities offered that day and kids have a choice whether
or not they partake in what is being offered. Then everyone disbands to do their
thing. Snacks and meals are eaten as
kids get hungry. Outdoor time is anytime
as long as there is an adult outside to supervise. At the end of the day, kids check in with
their small groups to reflect on their day and the learning that took
place. Finally, everyone joins together
as a large group to share, reflect, let go, or express gratitude.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Ontario Public School: A system with schedules and structure<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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As I mentioned in my first blog, the schoolboard, school,
and teacher all play a role in deciding what the class schedule for learning
will be. The Ministry of Education is
trying to educate a vast number of children in the most efficient way possible. Curriculum is designed to compartmentalize
learning so that it can be delivered by the most qualified teachers to the
greatest number of kids. It is a system
and divided
and structured as such. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">The mission statement of the Ontario Ministry of Education states
very clearly; “<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><a href="http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/about/excellent.html">Learners in the
province's education system will develop the knowledge, skills and characteristics
that will lead them to become personally successful, economically productive
and actively engaged citizens</a>.</span>” It is a system of educating and the
focus is on efficiency with an end product that serves the individual, the economy
and the state. The system, in an effort
to be more efficient and effective in its delivery, has some funny quirks such
as class size caps that may result in a split grade with only 4 kids at one
grade level or a homeroom teacher role that is split between two teachers. Some
decisions are purely economic; small elementary community schools of 200 or
less children are shut down in favour of mega-schools that can accommodate 1500
students. (This is related to my
comparison blog post on community, link to be added at a later date). Although there are some exceptions, specialty
programs are in place because of either consistent parent demand or because they
have the ultimate goal of reintegrating students into the mainstream classroom. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The specifics of how schools run depend on the philosophy of
the superintendent at the school board, the principal, and the teacher. Generally children start the day by listening
to school announcements and some sort of routine activity. The time is scheduled according to subject
with 50 minute periods for most subjects or a double period for math or
literacy. The time spent actually
learning is less than 50 minutes considering classroom management (teacher
addressing needs of kids) and transition times (5 minutes to enter and settle,
5 minutes to tidy and gather materials for the next subject). 30-40 minutes of interrupted teaching and
learning time is probably the ideal for a teacher in a given period. Eating time is scheduled, exercise time in
scheduled, free time is scheduled, even toileting is scheduled to happen during
nutrition and movement breaks to have fewer infringements on learning time. (I infer that the province sees the other
activities as being less valuable learning opportunities.) <o:p></o:p></div>
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All this scheduling might sound a little stiff, but thank
goodness for kind and creative teachers who make the system feel more
human. Teachers in the Public system
often look for ways to make learning as student centered as possible, such as
giving kids choices within a particular unit but the choices are quite limited
by the constraints of the curriculum and keeping the learners somewhat aligned
and uniform so they can be accurately compared and assessed to other students. So for example, a teacher may allow during the
last half hour of a subject period, students can choose which game they play
from a pre-selected set of activities. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The exception to this is the play-based learning program for
4 and 5 year olds. This age group is
given chunks of time to play interspersed with scheduled eating and outdoor
play time and small and large group instruction. Every day, most kids ages 4-5years will have
1-2 50 minute chunks of time to play, often more than that depending on the
teacher’s comfort level with play-based learning. This Kindergarten program is not mandatory,
meaning that parents can choose not to send their children to school until
Grade 1, without having to inform the school board of their choice to do
so. (By grade 1, parents need to enroll
their child in some sort of school or inform the school board of their
intention to homeschool.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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As you can imagine, with this kind of scheduling and class
sizes, teaching a diverse group can be a challenge. Differentiated instruction and learning
through self-discovery is encouraged (and more meaningful to the learner!) but
much of the instruction is still direct instruction. The teacher teaches and the children are
meant to absorb the material, then the kids show what they have learned by
applying the concept individually or in small groups. This evidence of learning is used for teacher
feedback and evaluations. It’s a system
of inputs and outputs, accountability, efficiency, and economies of scale. The teacher is leading the learning and,
given the constraints, teacher directed learning often makes the most sense in
terms of efficiency and economies of scale.
Choice and individuation take time and cost more money.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Montessori: Freedom to choose from pre-selected,
independent learning activities<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: inherit;">In a Montessori classroom, learners arrive and immediately
begin their learning activities. There
is no group check in or teacher check in other than a polite hello conversation. The intention is that children arrive ready
to learn and they should not be held back from the tasks they are excited to
begin. So for example, a child may
arrive at school and feel excited to do a math activity. The philosophy is that they should be able to
pursue that interest while they are feeling passionate and excited for the
challenge, not forced to be take part in a group activity that may dilute their
enthusiasm.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: inherit;">There are large blocks for work, usually 3 hours in length. The activities are considered work, not play,
<span style="line-height: 107%;">as the children
are not playing or using the materials in ways other than what they have been
shown by the Montessori directress. The
directress slowly and deliberately shows the child each new activity from the</span>
materials prepared by the directress in advance. Children are welcome to repeat activities as
often as they wish since repetition helps to solidify the skills. Once the directress has seen the child complete
the activity perfectly, she will invite the child to observe her complete a slightly more challenging version of the activity. <span style="line-height: 107%;">Children do their work independently usually but may invite a
friend to share in a specific task.
Children do not play together as they would in a play-based public school
Kindergarten program for example. Older children
do engage in group lessons and work as introduced by the directress.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white; font-family: inherit;">Children eat meals together and have outdoor time together
but those are often the only scheduled activities in the day, particularly in
the early years. The schedule of a
Montessori day is very much reflective of the mission of Montessori schools; <span style="line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_education" title="Psychology">emphasis
on independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s natural psychological,
physical, and social development.<span style="color: windowtext; line-height: 107%; text-decoration: none;"><o:p></o:p></span></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Although not all Montessori Schools
in Ontario are official Montessori Schools, meaning they can use the name
without necessarily being affiliated with a Montessori governing body, official
Montessori schools ensure the student has a range of activity choices from
within a prescribed range of options, three hours of uninterrupted work time and
freedom to move within the classroom (all the materials are at the appropriate
height and grasp for the age group of the children). So there is freedom of choice, for large
chunks of time, but the choices are from a defined set. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #252525;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b>Waldorf: Structured within natural rhythms and cycles<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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A day at a Waldorf school is highly structured but it’s based
on rhythms and cycles rather than an outside structure that must be strictly
adhered to like in a public school.
Children spend time outdoors together, eat together, and learn together
in their age co-hort. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Until age 7, kids are given large blocks of time to play
freely with approved Waldorf toys and books that are reflective of Steiner’s philosophy
but also the era in which his educational philosophy emerged. Children play with objects and toys that are made
of natural materials without a culturally prescribed meaning so children can
apply their own story lines and imagination to the toys. In the Waldorf philosophy, activities and
toys reflect tasks and items used most often in the home. Although children are encouraged to play
freely with the toys and use their imaginations, the toys and books in
classrooms are approved Waldorf materials, much like Montessori approves
materials in sanctioned Montessori classrooms.
(See my blog post on comparisons of using tools of the culture in learning,
link to be added at later date.) Changes
in activities are signaled by the teacher singing a song or playing a song. Waldorf has weekly routines that do not vary,
at least for younger children, because the philosophy believes that young children
thrive in that predictability.
Seasonally, there are more celebrations and routines that match the natural
world and changes in seasons.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Older children have traditional classroom style settings
with chairs and desks and learning schedules that adhere to clearly defined
curriculum but their learning often involves group songs, movement, or the
arts. They are not given time to pursue
their interests or make choices of what they learn, but they may have more choice
in how they can creatively express their learning. There is still a sense that
adults need to play a big role in providing structure and guidance to children
until they reach maturity of adulthood. Choice
and freedom is a gradual process in Waldorf philosophy, aligned with Steiner’s
understanding of psychological development.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Waldorf is a philosophy that believes in nurturing the child
through each stage in biological and psychological development. As the child matures and enters a new
developmental stage, routines and structures change. It is a philosophy that sees children growing
within a pattern that reflects the natural world and universe; changes in days,
seasons, years, and 7-year cycles. Steiner’s
experience with schools was one of rote memorization and teacher directed
lessons, not to mention physical and psychologically abusive discipline measures,
so his development of a program that included songs, painting, and nurturing young
people and showing sensitivity to them as learners was quite revolutionary at
the time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I found this comparison to be kind of difficult to compare
in broad terms because each classroom is so dependent on the people who run
it. Hopefully this gives you an overall
sense of the daily routines and how those structures reflect the overall
philosophy of each style of education.
In my next blog, I’ll compare how each style approaches culture and addresses
cultural tools. But first, did you have
a strong reaction to any of the education styles? What style would you feel most comfortable
with as a parent? What style makes you
feel the least comfortable?<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-7942122970070708792016-09-08T12:56:00.002-07:002018-03-08T20:06:53.967-08:00My "Steve Jobs technology kids" Google Search<div class="MsoNormal">
Since starting We Learn Naturally, I have had a lot of
parents assume that we promote natural learning in the sense
that we do not use technology. Perhaps
this was poor planning on my part, I actually meant "we learn naturally" in the
sense that people do not have to be manipulated or forced to learn. Learning through natural interests and non-coercive means can be just as effective, if not more. Would “We Learn Non-coercively” have had the
same appeal? <o:p></o:p></div>
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In our family we use technology and, our kids do too, and that’s a difficult position to stand proudly behind without experiencing a
certain amount of judgement. I know it's not a position that all my friends and family share because every day
in my FB newsfeed there are articles with titles such as “Steve Jobs didn’t
allow technology in his home and neither should you”. This week, I felt like I needed to think a
little more critically about the articles referring to Steve Jobs and I was surprised by what I found.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After typing into Google search “Steve Jobs technology kids”
I got pages of articles, some from very prominent sources, all referencing the same 1 original article. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/11/fashion/steve-jobs-apple-was-a-low-tech-parent.html?_r=0">It
seems this concept started with an article written by Nick Bilton</a> about
technology executives that limit technology in their families. However, aside from a few specific quotes,
Bilton was stating that he knew of other executives who had similar
philosophies but he didn’t actually say that technology was banned outright. When I dug a little deeper, what these families
do is not necessarily so radical; <a href="http://www.fiveaa.com.au/news/the-real-reason-steve-jobs-didn-t-let-his-kids-use-an-ipad">no
devices at the dinner table, no devices in bedrooms at night, limits on time
spent on devices</a>. Perhaps these
families are focusing on connection, health, or safety? I’m on board with those values, although it may be expressed differently in my family. The biggest take-away for me was that all of these “news” stories and articles were actually generated from just
one opinion piece article from the New York Times.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3idjd6y2TkP27cQUgLPRMvfHrzTi8t6UadMu4xcAVe_JBzMGBhViY4pKnWKBg3Nb3PQzja_l0YyU9fm1D4RbCTj2LQSXRjkkFqvX9NFhCnKjVfDGoAR4g717V04ZvJmUEv7Xdt_ScNYMX/s1600/steve-jobs-quotes-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3idjd6y2TkP27cQUgLPRMvfHrzTi8t6UadMu4xcAVe_JBzMGBhViY4pKnWKBg3Nb3PQzja_l0YyU9fm1D4RbCTj2LQSXRjkkFqvX9NFhCnKjVfDGoAR4g717V04ZvJmUEv7Xdt_ScNYMX/s320/steve-jobs-quotes-01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Steve Jobs did, in fact, allow his kids to use technology
but he greatly limited the amount of technology his kids used in the home. It’s unclear whether that decision was based on some sort of research, his understanding of the manipulation behind some apps or if it was simply in line with his own value-system and parenting
style. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451648537/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=allaboustevjo-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1451648537">Did
you know that Steve Jobs was a very difficult, exacting boss</a>? <a href="http://allaboutstevejobs.com/persona/steveathome.php">He was hot and cold
with his children</a> also and I wonder if this was just his personality? <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1451648537/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=allaboustevjo-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1451648537">His
style in business was to use shame and belittlement to motivate people and
promote the kind of perfection that he envisioned</a>. I wonder if his parenting style was also a bit controlling (at least by my unschooling standards) with his children in all areas, technology being one of them?<br />
<br />
I see the irony of some of the biggest technology
execs limiting electronic usage in their homes. It is that irony that made
this one opinion column by Nick Bilton a spin off for so many other articles,
feeding fear among parents who assume a technology guru would have the inside
scoop on children and technology.
Perhaps technology execs, at the front of the change pendulum, are feeling scared of some of the changes they see? Perhaps they are just
reacting to their own fears the way many parents in our culture do - in the face of change they are exerting tighter control over the only area they can, their children? <o:p></o:p></div>
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After giving it a lot of thought, I just can’t use Steve
Jobs or any other technology executive as someone to model my decisions after. I have to find what works best for my kids
and my family. The research is still so
new and contradictory about technology use and kids. There truly are positive and negatives to
technology, and I think our outlook on life paints our perception. If you come from a place of fear, fear of
change, fear of the unknown, fear of humanity, then you will probably see the
negatives of technology as a stronger influence in your thinking. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PY9DcIMGxMs/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PY9DcIMGxMs?feature=player_embedded" style="clear: right; float: right;" width="320"></iframe>I would love to see less fear-based FB posts and judgements
towards parents who use technology and more reflective conversation. I’m really interested in connection. With a strong connection to our children they
are less susceptible to making choices that are bad for their mental health,
such as pursuing pornography or violence online. We know that if we give our kids lots of
meaningful in-person interactions with friends, peers, and their community, they
become better able to read social cues. With that, they are better able to
identify and navigate instances of online bullying. We also know that kids who have deep
connections to others often use technology in positive ways; ways that enhance creativity,
relationships, and strengthen interests.
If children are given space and time to develop self-awareness, and that
becomes their compass from which they live, they can become better monitors of
what they need. One of the biggest
questions/fears is that electronics have an addictive quality. If technology has the potential to create
addiction, the best way to prevent kids from addiction is to offer an
environment that offers strong, positive bonding opportunities. (Check out this video on addiction.) The bottom
line, I am not fearful about technology because I believe so strongly that our
connection to our kids will serve us as we help them to navigate the world
around them, including technology. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBI3gAcSIOmXa33E9_834jlZ7oKTxvgtyiwZmB-EbRK5JA3DANAMKiaH425V55Ed0DYfeqJn3iJD6Q-qtfJRdAMkA52MsKja8HuBGmlL6QchaQD0SuRmqypcr0JfGSlNJ5y7zrLBd1hwQ/s1600/apple+think+different.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtBI3gAcSIOmXa33E9_834jlZ7oKTxvgtyiwZmB-EbRK5JA3DANAMKiaH425V55Ed0DYfeqJn3iJD6Q-qtfJRdAMkA52MsKja8HuBGmlL6QchaQD0SuRmqypcr0JfGSlNJ5y7zrLBd1hwQ/s1600/apple+think+different.jpeg" /></a>In a world that is becoming increasingly technology-based, the
Steve Jobs’ approach to prepare his children was to greatly limit their exposure
to screen time in an effort to protect them. That is very much the cultural norm. My approach to helping
kids in a technology-based world is the
opposite. When possible, I try to
include my kids in decisions that affect them, so that I can respectfully share
my values and be respectful of their pursuits in the world. I expect mistakes to happen and I don’t
intend to protect them from the world so much as I intend to help them to find
ways to navigate it. So, I am
not jumping on the “Steve Jobs’ doesn’t let his kids use technology and neither
should you” train. I guess I just think differently. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-59760867195417098782016-08-31T18:28:00.005-07:002018-03-08T20:08:01.649-08:00The Diversity Bridge to Empathy by Chelsea Bohnert<div class="MsoNormal">
Since my 5000 km move across the country
from Ontario to British Columbia, I have experienced a significant amount of
turbulence as we attempt to lay down fresh roots so far away from all that we
know and love. There have been times where I have literally cried out as I
questioned what my husband and I have done, as the immense fear of “messing up
our kids” overcame me. How could we believe that uprooting all of the loving
and secure connections we have made back home to make this great quest to the
West was actually the right thing to do? Thankfully, I have been here before
and was able to tenderly remind myself of exactly <i>why</i> we did this. I walked right into these challenges
wholeheartedly. A clearer minded me, embraces the challenges that arise from
different, unknown and difficult. Because something I believe to be true with
all of my heart is that, compassion, acceptance and love for all people is
fostered out of diverse interactions and tough situations.</div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">You see, one of the primary struggles I
have with our family being alternatively educated is the potential risk it has
for lacking diversity in the experiences we encounter with other people in the
community. Now, hold on. I know some of you will instantly think “Here we go
again. Don’t you bother starting with the socialization debate!” However, I
have to stop you mid thought because I am not talking about socialization at
all. In fact, I am very well aware of the ample opportunities available for
socialization for home learners/alternative students through independent
schools, co-ops, extracurricular activities and more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">No, I am not talking about that at all. I
am speaking more specifically about the diversity within these activities
instead. When I made the decision for our family to become unschoolers, I went
through so many layers of consideration on the matter. As we begin our sixth
year with the decision, I am quite aware of the factors that have given me
comfort and those I have struggled with. One really big struggle I have had
often is with regards to diversity and I’ll tell you why. When I first began to
consider home learning I think I was mostly operating from a place a fear,
which I am certain others can relate to. Fear that my children would encounter
any of the experiences that caused me pain or discomfort during my childhood
and like most people, many of those took place at school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">But as I settled in to our decision, the
fears I carried took a shift. As I began relationships with other home learning
families, and visited the alternative education options in my community I
noticed some things to be true. What I noticed is that the broad scope of the
alternative education community appeared to be predominantly made up of
families with high socioeconomic status (SES). So, while back when I was a new
momma this was precisely what I was seeking, it is an area of discomfort for me
now and I’ll tell you why. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">As I have grown as a parent and began to
heal parts of myself that were wounded from my childhood, I have developed a
great deal of tenderness and self-love for not only myself but my mom as well.
Even as I began my journey as a mother I was more certain than ever that my
duty was to give my children everything I never had. They wouldn’t be poor,
they wouldn’t go to school and if they did it had to be private, and they must <i>never</i> struggle. However, through the
healing I’ve received from watching my children grow and being a part of their
experiences of life, I have come to realize how much I actually like myself and
who I’ve become. So as this became increasingly apparent to me, I started to
question what things I might duplicate from my childhood rather than avoid. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">The thing that stands out the most to me is
the richness of diversity in my life, most of which came from the decisions and
risks that my own mother made as she parented myself and my three sisters. We
were poor, my sisters and I were mixed race, my mom was a single parent and we
were a household of five women. We certainly did not fit the mould of a
traditional family by any means. Perhaps
this was because mom has always been the kind of person who rooted for the
underdog and taught us to do the same. Even when it was to her own demise at
times, she gave everything she had to anyone who needed it. My mother modelled
empathy and compassion in everything that she did and even though at times I
didn’t understand it in my youth, I am so grateful that she was my teacher. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">When I consider the reasons that my mom is
the way that she is, as with myself I do not believe it is because of the lack
of struggle and diverse experiences in her life. No, in fact, it is very much
the opposite. Raised in an upper middle-class family in Ancaster ON, probably
not one of the most SES diverse places in the world, my mom was also adopted.
Being adopted has caused her a great deal of pain and discomfort however it is
probably one of the single and most important pieces to consider in how my
mother was gifted with the incredible ability to empathize and have compassion
the way she does. The unique experience of adoption and feeling different
opened her empathic ability to a much larger group outside of her tribe of
origin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA">I want to clarify that I am in no way
suggesting that anyone who does not experience great hardship or pain will be
lacking in empathy, but I think I am making some valuable connections here. I
recently enjoyed an article titled <i>“The
Limits of Empathy”</i> published by Uplift Connect on Facebook, that really
hammered home some solid findings on empathy and the biological science behind
it. Without getting too technical, and I do highly recommend reading it
yourself, the author basically explains that ancestrally, we as a species are
more capable of providing empathy to people who are similar to ourselves. You
can probably relate this to your own experiences and feelings on any of the
leading issues of controversy in the world today. It has been discovered that
oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone” also acts as a driving force behind
empathic ability. While it strengthens feelings of love amongst people within
your circle, it can reinforce a tribal mentality and evoke fear and mistrust
towards those who come from outside of our social circles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">It is for these reasons that I am
contending for diversity as a catalyst for empathy in our lives. If we actually
have a biological predisposition to dislike, avoid and disagree with those who
are different from ourselves yet empathy and compassion are essential to the
vitality of our society, the only apparent solution is to encounter as many
diverse experiences with as many different types of people, as often as we can.
This way, we will have more similarities woven into our connections and our
tribal instincts will adapt to them instead. Mix things up. Befriend opposites
and work through the challenges that arise from it. Talk to your kids about how
different can be uncomfortable and why it is important to embrace differences
anyways. Model this in every way that you can.
Fear is what prevents people from connection but if we can consciously
walk through the unknown in order to reap the reward of acceptance and love on
the other side, the risk is SO worth it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">In the traditional school system children
from all walks of life are grouped together in classrooms upwards of 30 or more
children. And while at times, the differences may lead to bullying, exclusion
and intolerance, diversities in class, race, gender, learning abilities,
sexuality and religious beliefs are certainly encountered daily by children
attending school, which does offer increased opportunities for learning
empathy. As alternative families on the other hand, the goal of diversity as a
bridge to empathy is one that needs to be much more intentional. What we do have
working to our advantage though, is that choosing the path less travelled with
alternative educations means that we are already intentional by nature. So it’s
simple. All we need to do is add diversity to the top of our priority lists,
and the rest will fall into place on its own. Goodbye fear, exclusion, and
intolerance. Hello empathy, compassion and love!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA">Smiles and Love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"> Here
is the link to the article on empathy I mentioned:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-CA"><a href="http://upliftconnect.com/the-limits-of-empathy/">http://upliftconnect.com/the-limits-of-empathy/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Chelsea Bohnert is a We Learn Naturally Blog contributor and advisor for We Learn Naturally. She unschools her children, thinks critically, learns constantly, and creates strong communities everywhere she goes (including coastal B.C. where she currently resides.) Thanks for the blog Chelsea!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-10983692625260427472016-08-19T12:17:00.000-07:002018-03-08T20:13:52.927-08:00Trust and Creativity<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAc7j7_WyLFGXC04zpA1sOlDEDMhZiXBNBBEEmtAZ_4MeH_ZoyanJIckn4kW0H9e11fN-akQY5yz5dpuYrAGWi-SQYKW8VbdymltQQUOYuAhrTG26UE_Q9XCP9k5xD7e2P0nidJCtvwWV3/s1600/2016-08-19.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAc7j7_WyLFGXC04zpA1sOlDEDMhZiXBNBBEEmtAZ_4MeH_ZoyanJIckn4kW0H9e11fN-akQY5yz5dpuYrAGWi-SQYKW8VbdymltQQUOYuAhrTG26UE_Q9XCP9k5xD7e2P0nidJCtvwWV3/s320/2016-08-19.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
This week I had the pleasure of meeting Rebecca and Dave
Zak. They are artists and entrepreneurs,
and I got to see their studio, geek out about self-directed education.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/n-2vkZjeMFY/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/n-2vkZjeMFY?feature=player_embedded" style="clear: left; float: left;" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-2vkZjeMFY&feature=youtu.be">I want
to share with you this video featuring Rebecca Zak</a>. I especially like the creative process visual that I included at the top of this page. As Rebecca explains, the creative process isn’t
a timeline or necessarily ordered in a direction.
The starting point is arbitrary and people move to or remain engaged in any portion of the process for as long as they wish. How a person engages in the creative process is probably related to each idea or project as it is personal preferences and strengths. Learning at the Barn School is based
upon this fluid concept of creativity. Free play or freedom to choose
your activities can be an organic gathering of information, an incubation
period, part of the critique, or production. Sometimes it might make sense to have learners plan their ideas and project management techniques can to help them do that but learners can always break from the process when they need to. Forcing a project or idea along a timeline to
completion is the fastest way to remove creativity, innovation, and learning
for those engaged. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYszy5sx5PnSlIzfLOG3SN0WSzNK-JG3O9yayDpFhkJOE8_7d5cSoYlaoVpAOuhAq0Mu59hSMbBIOcQg4Ss6ZTMq3Nrjs5ak9MmMgULL4Haew0E_7wa40vry09m5nh0Wo7vvJVsfkG5Z1b/s1600/bk_ConsciousParenting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYszy5sx5PnSlIzfLOG3SN0WSzNK-JG3O9yayDpFhkJOE8_7d5cSoYlaoVpAOuhAq0Mu59hSMbBIOcQg4Ss6ZTMq3Nrjs5ak9MmMgULL4Haew0E_7wa40vry09m5nh0Wo7vvJVsfkG5Z1b/s200/bk_ConsciousParenting.jpg" width="135" /></a>Right now, I am also re-reading The Conscious Parent;
Transforming Ourselves, Empowering our Children by Shefali Tsabary. There are lots of great tidbits in there but
reading a book a second time is always eye-opening to me. The second time through I am always surprised at my own growth since the first read-through and there are
aspects of the book that I relate to and incorporate into my thinking in novel
ways. (If you want to read more about
the power of re-reading a book, <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/08/19/what-parents-need-to-know-about-magical-power-re-reading-book.html">check
out this article written for parents by Virginia Zimmerman</a>.) When I first read the book, I was not at the
application part of We Learn Naturally philosophy. Upon starting Learning in the Woods and
applying self-directed education on a larger scale, I quickly realized the
importance of holding a trusting mindset about the world. Reading Dr. Shefali now, the section on
trusting the wisdom of life has new meaning for me.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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She mentions that “because so few of us trust the wisdom of
life, people tend to project their lack of trust onto their children.” Our society has an idea, based in fear and
fragile egos, that trust, especially for children, must be earned. Conversely, a trust in life and a broad sense
of trust towards our children creates an environment that allows for growth,
learning, mistakes, and ultimately creativity.
If we trust our children to know themselves (or are capable of
discovering themselves) we can let go of our worries and allow them to spend
their time as they wish and learn in their own directions. Their minds can pursue thoughts and
activities that help them grow in ways that we could never fathom. If we want creativity, first we must trust.</div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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I’d like to share with you an observation about my son. He’s 6 and he has never been in a formal
learning environment, including daycare.
As his mom, I have a lot of trust about his place in the world, his
understanding of what his needs are, his ability to communicate them, and find ways to have those needs met. I trust that he
will learn because that is what humans do.
He is introverted, so for the most part, I am not privy to what is going on in his brain. But every once in a while he asks some questions or shares
his thoughts and I get a quick glimpse inside. In those moments, I realize how
limitless his capacity for learning and creating really is. Here is an example of my son playing with the
creative process of information gathering, incubation, and critique over the
course of a day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrEk3ZzqE39R_c8LgNJiXDEAB-3iKDfq1vkpnZT8hO0325SieQSJv3oDhCpAyKMdugMDDlosVIHTuJua2MRCdTY30AzEk6HGj9iYvQVjtb1aSK5Llii_xhObttiLmzIBVFhyphenhyphen2lXyXaBgFx/s1600/the-forces-that-hold-the-universe-together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrEk3ZzqE39R_c8LgNJiXDEAB-3iKDfq1vkpnZT8hO0325SieQSJv3oDhCpAyKMdugMDDlosVIHTuJua2MRCdTY30AzEk6HGj9iYvQVjtb1aSK5Llii_xhObttiLmzIBVFhyphenhyphen2lXyXaBgFx/s320/the-forces-that-hold-the-universe-together.jpg" width="320" /></a>Yesterday, we visited a theme park that we have a season’s
pass to. It was a day of busy playing in
a familiar setting. We had lunch where many
other young families were congregating and the noise was like sensory overload
for me, so I didn’t try to initiate conversation at all. After about 30 minutes of eating in this
setting he said, “I’ve got a really tough question for you. Is gravity constantly moving or does it not
move.” We talked about gravity for a
bit, building on previous conversations we’ve had about forces and gravity and
the earth and the moon. We didn’t come
to an answer to his question, but we talked enough so that there was more to
consider. Then he ate his pizza without
saying a word and we continued on with our day.
As we were leaving the theme park, I was collapsing the stroller his
sister was using and he was lying on the ground under a tree and asked “how do
you know you are at the end of the earth?”
We talked about how we know the earth is round and that like all spheres,
there’s really no start or stop to it, or if there is one, it’s probably arbitrary. This is another favorite thought for him, the
concept of infinity, no start or stop.
Then he said “Lying here, I can’t feel that I’m moving. I can’t feel gravity.” We talked about how he can feel the earth
underneath his back and how that is a force pushing against the pull of
gravity. We talked about how the earth
is moving and we know this because of day and night and the seasons. Then he asked “If our sun is a star and every
star we see at night is a sun with gravity, are all the stars everywhere also moving
and working with forces that we can’t feel even more than we can’t feel gravity
on earth?” <o:p></o:p><br />
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He returns to these thoughts of forces and gravity and
infinity and the universe often. I think all
kids are capable of these sorts of profoundly interesting thoughts. The difference is, my son has been given trust in the
form of time and freedom to engage his mind in the creative process on his own
terms. He may incubate and gather
information about forces and gravity and the universe like this for years and never move onto the production side. Or maybe his ideas *are* the product? Who knows? It's really up to him how his learning evolves. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX4CC4g6EoZWkadpfSo-f-qoZnW3e4xd1W8_KYQSwh9wyQV6xgCdMGzujUhWlMAlng8-apPHv0-p5bsgnFaoZ1jAaZXAlxT620GdkFDwt8NSfz-ZVwBgSEaonXCvp8Cb8VxLNnJ-y-CCbn/s1600/paradigm+shift+fish+bowl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX4CC4g6EoZWkadpfSo-f-qoZnW3e4xd1W8_KYQSwh9wyQV6xgCdMGzujUhWlMAlng8-apPHv0-p5bsgnFaoZ1jAaZXAlxT620GdkFDwt8NSfz-ZVwBgSEaonXCvp8Cb8VxLNnJ-y-CCbn/s1600/paradigm+shift+fish+bowl.jpg" /></a></div>
I should mention that my son is not interested in reading or writing at this point in time and occasionally that plays on my ego as I watch friends and family with similarly-aged kids
“learn” those skills. When that insecurity
creeps in, I ask myself, “Am I doing this right?” but when he shares these interesting
questions, suddenly I am reminded of the
ideas that are bursting in his head like fireworks. His mind is his own and if I want to facilitate his
learning, creativity, and innovation, I need to trust *HIS* process and keep my
ego in check. Our relationship and his
learning depend on it. We live in a
culture of mistrust, fear, ego, and comparison.
It is a difficult paradigm to shift in our heads, let alone on a
societal level, but I’m up for the challenge.
Let’s see what we can do, shall we?</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-88571292020273465552016-08-13T07:45:00.002-07:002018-03-11T11:55:34.937-07:00Connections Triad; reflections of camp<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbGvlv7nbBtd4nrQh2Mks6-K-AftDqGGI8H41sTNi6HvacferHdiOKDjX7gQU4l0UigktjxF-4626WzcxQIfTavt9j1v20TcBO9Esn8yIX2p6olPv3NwHyUUjA5wzC6l0Zs4RcvobCmm6X/s1600/IMG_20160809_141409.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbGvlv7nbBtd4nrQh2Mks6-K-AftDqGGI8H41sTNi6HvacferHdiOKDjX7gQU4l0UigktjxF-4626WzcxQIfTavt9j1v20TcBO9Esn8yIX2p6olPv3NwHyUUjA5wzC6l0Zs4RcvobCmm6X/s320/IMG_20160809_141409.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Whether it’s a 10 week session throughout a season or a 1 week summer camp, when we reach the end of our scheduled time at Learning in the Woods, everyone experiences a bit of a “high”. When it’s time to say good-bye, connections
are at their strongest, so it’s only natural to look back at our time together and
reflect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Despite being very pregnant, I happened to be on site for the
first morning of camp. It’s such a vulnerable time
and not just for the kids! Facilitators
want to help bridge the gap between home and camp but with no prior connection,
they really don’t have a choice but to be patient, grounded, and present. Parents have signed their children up for
this nature camp thing but suddenly, uncertainty lingers in the air. I think the strongest impression for me was witnessing
how brave the kids were, venturing into the unknown! It reminds me of the first days of school as
a kindergarten teacher. With no solid
prior connections to draw on, everyone digs deep and pulls from within the best
they can. I have so much love for these brave little souls!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Even kids who know what to expect, still have butterflies
because they know the dynamics have changed.
My son, who is certainly a regular at Learning in the Woods, was feeling
anxious Monday afternoon when we arrived for his session. While sitting with him as he rode out his nerves,
some of the kids who participated in the July camp arrived. They were excited to be back to their
familiar space again, flying down the hill, backpacks bouncing on their backs. Can you picture it? Read that line again, if you need to because
it was that excited energy bouncing past, that lifted my son from his nerves and
carried him down to camp. And that’s sometimes that's just how it goes. You spend time building a connection to yourself, so that you can build a connection to others, and somewhere along the way there is a connection to nature too. There is an ebb and flow that works in this triad and we
don’t really think much about it unless we give ourselves time to reflect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tanya, the Learning in the Woods Director, and our
facilitators Claudia, Soren, and Laura all did an outstanding job this week, keeping
themselves grounded and present so that the kids could walk away with deeper
connections. It was a challenging week
though. To start off it was HOT. Morning temperatures in our city were often
hotter than correlating morning temperatures in Mumbai. Plus, we ended the week with thunder and
rain. With any kind of intense weather,
the facilitators feel pressure to keep kids safe and to fully consider parental
concerns. It’s always a challenge to
balance those concerns with what we know of nature connection. You see, most forest schools do not make weather
cancellations and we understand why. In
those weather challenges, the possibility for connection intensifies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the heat we can observe how nature adapts;
the bugs burrow into the moist soil to stay cool and hydrated. Small creatures and birds conserve their
energy for cooler times of the day and spend the hottest times in the shade or
in the spot in the forest that catches a breeze. As we observe and connect to nature, we can apply
that learning to ourselves. My son arrived
home yesterday after a week in the heat and didn’t feel a need to come into our
air conditioned house. His sister and I
retreated after 20 minutes of playing outside but he continued to play and
create in our backyard, soaked in humidity.
He had adapted, he had overcome. He
learned to take his cues from nature, listen to his body, adapt, and in the end, he found a
new sense of peace in the challenging heat. What a gift!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MP5ycz_eleN6UEJc8Q7T8B5r_e8va3R6_6GHjT6xDUsWJkmxNHRSHilpXP0B8F-yEV9mZWgW8xYbp2k4PhYyHuh7iv4WpPk_7GLYdp92vMSekErzhGId3QH52fgOiLNGn2d7dNXT_KCN/s1600/IMG_20160809_141327.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6MP5ycz_eleN6UEJc8Q7T8B5r_e8va3R6_6GHjT6xDUsWJkmxNHRSHilpXP0B8F-yEV9mZWgW8xYbp2k4PhYyHuh7iv4WpPk_7GLYdp92vMSekErzhGId3QH52fgOiLNGn2d7dNXT_KCN/s320/IMG_20160809_141327.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And it’s not just the physical stamina that grows. We talk about how when we are experiencing
discomfort with our feelings, we don’t actually want to hide them, change them,
or rush past them. The feelings are
there for a reason and if we can sit with them, they bring us depth of understanding. The same is true when experiencing nature. To get a depth of understanding, it really is
best to stay with nature. That means visiting the same location in different seasons and
weather conditions so that you can truly understand how it flows and your fit in the natural world. We looked into making our last day of camp at
a location that had something new to explore and some water to splash in (our
little stream was completely dry with this drought) but we were so glad that we
stayed put! By staying put, the kids were able to
reflect on how comfortable they felt in the forest, even exploring the familiar
paths “alone”, thus raising their confidence and their sense of inner peace. They were also rewarded with RAIN! With water gushing up to
the kids’ ankles, our little stream had the appeal of an exciting new toy! The played and rejoiced in their new wet forest and their new friendships. It was the kind of
ending that we could not have predicted but we’re so thankful to have received. By staying put, we are able to experience the complete triad of joyful connection to nature, self, and others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was tempting to alter our location or respond to the
elements by retreating somehow but we are really glad that we didn’t. We don’t want to be fearful of nature or the
elements because we know that our fear can be passed onto our kids. We want to instill a respect and appreciation
for nature, not a rejection of it when the elements bring us discomfort or don’t
fit our vision of the experience. The
human oneness with nature is so ingrained in our very core that sometimes it
seems our connection with nature can mirror our comfort level with our own feelings. We are a culture of of people who often resort to retreating or displacing. But if we sit with ourselves, find peace in ourselves and in our environment, then, with enough practice, it becomes possible to find peace with
others. And that is the motivation behind this whole thing, the possibilities that come with connection. We don't want to reject that which feels uncomfortable; those are actually the moments we want to dig deep and connect. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, t</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">hat’s how it goes at Learning in the Woods.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> T</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">here is an ebb and flow to all things and as we finish up our camp season, we are left feeling really thankful for the experience and for this time to reflect.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-27299626381370910522016-05-29T05:31:00.002-07:002018-03-11T11:57:01.406-07:00Guns and Play Themes that Make Adults Uncomfortable<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The irony of our outdoor program “Learning in the Woods” is
that sometimes the most valuable learning is done by the adults involved;
parents and facilitators. The program is
child-lead and sometimes the themes and topics that arise challenge the adults
to reconsider some of the ideas they hold dear.
This week’s theme was pretend play with guns. </span></div>
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href="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI_kvDC-fLSRd5kCBWZGOFnNVdE72ol1wliNWi6FKBNLMEmvpko2IzmYwu7uJwVQjsBBQkfSq6K8Bho1wYUxIBpILETst9ZCx14QjJJSIE_tBbfSVZ-ZHe9rpQFuFW82UYL9ssjjag7C70/s320/IMG_20160519_102816.jpg" width="320" /><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So, in our Thursday morning session this past week, we had a
beautiful example of why I believe, as adults, we would want to refrain from
intervening in a game that involves imaginary guns. After our check in meeting, Claudia and I
watched as the kids negotiated teams and rules for their game. It involved protecting and raiding the forts
they had been working on the past several weeks. Once the starting signal for the game was
called out, the kids excitedly began to invade and defend – with sticks as guns. While the point of the game was about
invasions, the kids spent most of their time negotiating the rules. Fairness, keeping the flow of the game
interesting and exciting, and creating a believable storyline were the main
topics of discussion. Despite the gun
props, the action that took place wasn’t gruesome or violent. For the kids, thinking about those realities
of guns was not the focus of the game. They
decided that it was going to be more fun if getting “shot” meant they were
frozen for 30 seconds, then continued playing.
This 30 second freeze rule seemed to create more action and encouraged
more risk-taking among the kids. It was
also a multi-age game that involved an age range of 2 years old to 12 years
old. As they played I heard “Are you
coming little guy?” “Are you Ok little
guy?” “Wait, little guy needs longer
because he can’t run as fast!” and other concerns for the youngest member of
the group. After playing for about 20
minutes, the game dismantled and the kids moved onto other things. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I think that had we stopped the gun aspect of the game, the
game would have dismantled altogether; the kids would have felt their world of
make-believe had been invaded…and the kids would have missed out on other
aspects of the game like building empathy, negotiation, and some intense
exercise. If Claudia and I had let our
preconceived ideas that “guns are bad and should not be a part of our society”
ruled the children’s play, we would have pushed our meaning, our reality into
the front and center of their world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Knowing that I was going to write a blog post about this, I
asked my son, who was playing Thursday morning, for his input. His initial response was so telling;</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“These
adults know we’re just playing right?
They know it’s just pretend, right?” </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“Yes, but
some adults think that even playing with pretend guns shouldn’t be allowed
because they know what real guns do. Do
you know what real guns do?” </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“Yes they scare
and hurt and kill people. I’d never play
with a real gun. This is just
pretend. It’s not a big deal. I play cars and crash them and I play zombies
and dragons and none of it is real. It’s
all just pretend.” </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“Some adults
worry that by playing pretend games with guns.
They want their kids to be safe and so the adults make a rule that kids
can’t play with pretend guns to try to keep them safe in real life. Why do kids want to play games with pretend
guns anyway? (I was curious!)” </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“It’s just
what’s in their head. It doesn’t mean
anything. It’s just what’s in their
head, so they play that and then it’s out of their head. That’s it.”
</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Ah, I love kid wisdom.
</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmviwmJrKRXVj_z4PodaNWljoGpjndHxo6PIQ6TeLDlCsRJmoeLBje8wvzN3pzbDsFezMNRsn_U7v4f7E_8RaVswhXJb8a1Ed5BnWFWfvRdaboBTIgMnM4tDbueSr8jqeI5S5IgvoKPzth/s1600/b%2526w+gun+play.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmviwmJrKRXVj_z4PodaNWljoGpjndHxo6PIQ6TeLDlCsRJmoeLBje8wvzN3pzbDsFezMNRsn_U7v4f7E_8RaVswhXJb8a1Ed5BnWFWfvRdaboBTIgMnM4tDbueSr8jqeI5S5IgvoKPzth/s320/b%2526w+gun+play.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">At Learning in the Woods we have a strong belief in
providing the opportunity for free play.
Therefore, we don’t discourage the kids from playing make-believe games
that involve guns, swords, or cannon balls (which is a popular choice among the
pirate-loving 3 and 4 year olds). It’s
easier for adults to accept play that involves swords, arrows, and cannon balls
because we don’t often come across stories of violence in our society that
involve these weapons. However, a lot of
adults feel really uncomfortable with the idea of imaginary games involving
guns. Our children have fewer
opportunities to experience free play without adult involvement and
interruption than previous generations; their play has never been this closely
observed or monitored. </span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200812/value-play-iii-how-children-confront-lifes-challenges"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: "calibri";">Peter
Grey has done extensive research into children’s play and his work shows that
children have always played games with dark, powerful themes and exploring
those ideas are necessary for children’s development. </span></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> With children often playing in supervised
playdates, it is now harder than ever for children to explore those themes
without adults intervening in an effort to influence their play. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Sometime gun play emerges in superhero play. Children in our culture live in a world where
superheroes have been icons for several generations. As </span><a href="http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.ca/2016/05/star-wars.html#.V0Btl5SC2tI.facebook"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: "calibri";">Teacher
Tom says in this blog post</span></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">; we may not personally see the appeal of playing
a game with light sabers and Darth Vader, but as adults, we have already had
our chance to explore themes of power and justice that emerge in superhero
storylines. Giving kids the space to
forge their own path within the context of the culture they find themselves in and
come to their own conclusions around these themes is important. This is especially true, perhaps even
necessary, if you want to evoke a community of trust.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I know I used to feel very strongly about no gunplay,
especially when I taught kindergarten. I
still believe very much in promoting non-violence, but instead of telling
children how to think and how to play, I am trying to model it through positive
parenting techniques and I’m learning about Nonviolent Communication. Since having my son, I have done a lot of
reading about the importance of play. I
think differently now about the value of unstructured play in terms of learning
about the world and developing empathy.
I’m now at a point in my understanding where I feel comfortable allowing
children the space to explore themes that are important to them, even if they sometimes
make me uncomfortable. If you are
interested in exploring the benefits of gun play, </span><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heather-shumaker/gun-play_b_1720962.html"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: "calibri";">Heather
Shumaker’s Huff Post article “Why Gun Play is Still OK”</span></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> is a great play to
start. As she says in her final
paragraph, we live in a world that has guns both in fiction and non-fictional
culture settings and as long as we have these themes in our society, children
will need to use play to make sense of these powerful objects in their world. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJcqjJ_HlzMMbXd9stbdksgdkmw5yZC-mS5bZsbl0RE2_lRXZKDbI_EC6aJcn0DZV99KZF5pwTJqf5Glna5Gw5bpsJXhR9_7BF3JDLzFJHMbGlE4iZvPwimrMSKazhhT9lK4A6Eqo_pBYp/s1600/nonviolence-is-not-to-be-used-ever-as-the-shield.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJcqjJ_HlzMMbXd9stbdksgdkmw5yZC-mS5bZsbl0RE2_lRXZKDbI_EC6aJcn0DZV99KZF5pwTJqf5Glna5Gw5bpsJXhR9_7BF3JDLzFJHMbGlE4iZvPwimrMSKazhhT9lK4A6Eqo_pBYp/s320/nonviolence-is-not-to-be-used-ever-as-the-shield.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-75180906152380488822016-05-13T16:52:00.001-07:002018-03-08T20:17:37.757-08:00"We Found a Puppy!" (No we didn't...)<span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
Last week at Learning in the Woods, I noticed a strange
“call”. I assumed it was a bird that I
had never heard before. About an hour
later, some of the kids ran over yelling excitedly “we found a puppy!” I immediately thought, that’s possible. Due
to our location, we are used as a local dumping area…we’re not exactly remote. Perhaps someone did abandon a puppy…<br />
<br />
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</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia0YY89GEtVOYUshb2GSLkKXHMVrKRTq1nOTzfugV4EVwp8rVMESwkJ-Qx26fSOP9g0vOjJM2rnQfutogS1GAyOwcO0vPIjghsmFN1B-q6MVJtFdxhZmR4qVUDzZV7M8ymU9WMpbxWvEDE/s1600/IMG_20160505_101347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia0YY89GEtVOYUshb2GSLkKXHMVrKRTq1nOTzfugV4EVwp8rVMESwkJ-Qx26fSOP9g0vOjJM2rnQfutogS1GAyOwcO0vPIjghsmFN1B-q6MVJtFdxhZmR4qVUDzZV7M8ymU9WMpbxWvEDE/s320/IMG_20160505_101347.jpg" width="240" /></a>“Actually, it’s a Coyote puppy!” someone called. Ugh. By the time I approached the group, the
oldest had picked it up, thus quieting it’s “call”. I tried to get them to put the pup down again
and said that we shouldn’t touch it, just leave it…but that was hard to
convince the kids to do. It really did
look a puppy but with slightly longer nails.
The pup couldn’t really walk yet and, like a human baby, her eyes were
still kind of blue. It was needy and
adorable.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The oldest child was saying how we needed to feed it and
that he would take it home. Younger ones
were jumping and excited. Even the
adults were looking at each other trying to make sense of this. Feeling like I couldn’t think straight with
all the excitement, I suggested I call someone to figure out how best to handle
the situation. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Not thinking especially clearly and not finding anyone local in a search for wildlife
sanctuaries, I called several other options.
The only one to answer the phone was Hamilton Animal Services. I asked what we should do and the dispatcher
said that they would have to send someone out to assess the situation. I felt relieved that someone would arrive to help problem solve because I was not thinking straight. I
stood still, scanning the area for coyote mom while we waited.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Animal Services arrived within 15 minutes. That seemed really fast. We are in a valley and by the time I got up the hill to our entrance,
(I’m pregnant and don’t move as fast as excited kids and non-pregnant adults),
the Animal Services Lady was wrapping the pup in a warm blanket and putting her
in the van. I thought we were going to
discuss first…maybe everyone had?...this was all moving so fast.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The animal services lady seemed to be done her work as I arrived. She seemed to be ready to leave. Feeling uneasy, I asked her; taking the pup, was
this the right thing to do? She asked
where we found the pup; we said in the open, near where our play area is. She said that most likely the coyote mom had
abandoned it for one reason or another; that some animals will abandon the runt
of the litter to conserve care taking energy for the rest of the litter. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">After she left, I started to calm down...and then some clear thinking and doubt set in. I thought about how healthy
this pup looked and I wanted a second opinion on how things had progressed. It was then that I found the phone number to
Urban Wildlife Care in Grimsby. It turns
out they are our closest provincial wildlife sanctuary willing to take infants,
including coyote infants. This was not
one of the numbers I had called initially, but I really didn’t feel settled
about how things had progressed so I left a message.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0x2HHOTs_XCPnNeO3OpvBubjzah9HoXOeciNms5w6N28rlMtyxnYbmJtNRb46nS3WG920WHzQ4lynxHJO6Qsvd-36ymwllenjkkh1poFmXhGTVzyuCYgne-I0dTaoqn9NOmOgNeS5geU5/s1600/IMG_20160505_101343.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>I received a call from Cara the next morning. Cara’s passion for her work is clear and she
is certainly very knowledgeable. Her
rule of thumb when you find a baby animal is WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE CALLING
ANYONE. Unless you know for sure the
baby is orphaned, your best pla<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0x2HHOTs_XCPnNeO3OpvBubjzah9HoXOeciNms5w6N28rlMtyxnYbmJtNRb46nS3WG920WHzQ4lynxHJO6Qsvd-36ymwllenjkkh1poFmXhGTVzyuCYgne-I0dTaoqn9NOmOgNeS5geU5/s1600/IMG_20160505_101343.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0x2HHOTs_XCPnNeO3OpvBubjzah9HoXOeciNms5w6N28rlMtyxnYbmJtNRb46nS3WG920WHzQ4lynxHJO6Qsvd-36ymwllenjkkh1poFmXhGTVzyuCYgne-I0dTaoqn9NOmOgNeS5geU5/s320/IMG_20160505_101343.jpg" width="240" /></a>n is to vacate the area and check in now and
then. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When she said this, I felt a sinking feeling in my
stomach. I MESSED UP. I knew this.
From personal experience finding baby raccoons and baby bunnies, I know
that they should be left alone for a while to give mom a chance to come back
and move them. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">My next question was, why didn’t Hamilton Animal Services
suggest this? Cara said that there are
no rules or laws around ensuring this sort of protection for wild animals in
Ontario. It is up to the discretion of
the Animal Services agent to decide how best to handle each situation. So we got someone who thought it was best to
take the pup. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Do they have guidelines or protocol on how to handle a
healthy coyote pup in their care? Cara
said that sometimes she will get a call to come and retrieve an orphaned animal
from Animal Services but, again, it is up to the individual on the scene to
make that assessment. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
I told Cara that we didn’t have any coyotes show up on our
hunting cameras in the past month. She said that lots of coyotes make their
dens under decks and as people start to use their decks more in the spring, the
coyote moms, creatures who generally try to avoid human contact, might
decide to move their den location after having their litter. She wondered if this was the case for our
coyote mom. She was moving her litter
and we surprised her mid-move. I thought
of our neighbors surrounding Learning in the Woods; all of them have decks and
the weather is finally becoming deck weather.
</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
I felt so awful. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Cara and I went on to discuss the politics of funding for wildlife
sanctuaries in Ontario. While Animals
Services is municipally funded, she receives a lot of their “referrals”. Her funding is completely by donation. There are not many sanctuaries in Ontario
because the funding to run them is by donation, so only passionate people are motivated to do this
underpaid work. They also rely heavily
on unpaid volunteers. Infant animals are more
costly to care for, so most sanctuaries do not have the resources to take
infants. Plus, infant survival rates
are not always very good. Wildlife sanctuaries
like Urban Wildlife Care are inspected provincially and must abide by the
province’s minimum standards, but they do not receive funding
provincially. Cara wants so badly for
people to care more about Ontario wildlife so that basic care can be provided
to all animals; thus minimizing the use of euthanasia. She wishes people valued wildlife care as
much as they do other provincial and municipal services or the SPCA. Lastly she wishes that more people were aware
of the importance of leaving wild baby animals alone for 24 hours. Lots of people “jump the gun”, like we did, thus
making a situation more complicated and costly than it has to be.</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<br />
I keep asking
myself why did this situation evolve the way it did? I have encountered baby animals before. I knew to give them space, check on them from
a distance, but call if they seem weak or ill or if there was no parental
contact in a day. Why didn’t I do that
this time? If it had looked like a baby
skunk or a fox kitten, would it have registered in my brain a little more clearly
that THIS IS WILDLIFE? </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
I am currently learning about Nonviolent Communication and
this week’s reading was about being present and open. Reflecting back on my own actions, I was not “present”
and “open” during the excitement of the pup.
If I could have recognized my own feelings in the moment, that I was
feeling confused and excited, (not a good head place for me to be), I would
have been better off grounding myself first.
Just taking a moment to breathe and get calm again would have done
wonders for my logic to kick in. Then I
would have been in a better place to help the kids get grounded by empathizing
with them about their excitement and desire to help. I could have guided them to find empathy for the
pup and the momma coyote without needing to “fix it”. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
Instead I went into a reactionary mode. Goodness, it is so easy to do. I think a lot of self-aware parents will
admit there are occasions when we are not coming from a calm and centered
place. When things are hairy, it’s easy
to slip over into a reactionary solving mode when the best thing we could do is be calm ourselves and
offer others a peaceful space to connect, empathize, and think.</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
And so, I am writing this blog out of guilt. It's not a good reason to write a blog. I usually write as a form of self-expression and I don't really care if anyone reads it or reacts to it anyway. I write and I'm done. This blog is different...I'm still very heavy, wrestling with this...<br />
<br />
NVC also promotes being compassionate with ourselves. I feel angry with myself for not making the right choice for this coyote pup. I feel angry with myself for being reactionary and that I couldn't recognize that I needed to be in a calm place before moving forward. I didn't recognize that need in myself, and so I made a decision that lead to an outcome that is not in line with my value to be respectful to nature. Others wish there had been a different outcome too. I feel insecure because I didn't meet the expectations of others, the expectations that I try to promote about being respectful to nature and responding from a place of calm. But if I am kind to myself, I can see that I recognized I couldn't think clearly and reached out for help. I just didn't get in touch with an organization that is in line with my values...Urban Wildlife Care is now on my contacts list though! Also, I have been trying to reiterate to the kids that the most respectful thing to do would have been to give the pup and the coyote mom space and time to solve the problem on their own. I'm doing my best to restore balance in accordance with my values.<br />
<br />
So I am wishing I had done things differently. But should you ever find “a puppy” in the woods hopefully you'll remember this blog... And if you need an organization that is in line with caring for animals in a way that is respectful of their natural habitat, here is the info for Urban Wildlife Care. <a href="http://www.urbanwildlifecare.com/"><span style="color: #0563c1;">www.urbanwildlifecare.com</span></a> 905-818-5708 or follow on Facebook <a href="https://www.facebook.com/UrbanWildlifeCare"><span style="color: #0563c1;">here</span></a>. It’s a great organization to donate to if
your family values wildlife in our area or if you like to donate to animal
groups like SPCA. <br />
<br /></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01720254478772002374noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4450112588038427906.post-89039139083759490192016-05-07T15:15:00.001-07:002018-03-08T20:20:57.918-08:00Risky Play and Trust <br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">What was your favourite play place as a
child? What made it so enjoyable? My kids found a playground they loved a short
walk from our hotel on our recent trip to Orlando. What made it so much fun? Well, it was broken! </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The playground had an elevated platform
with a raised stepping stone part where each step was secured to both a bar
above and a small chain link connection into the ground, allowing the stepping
stone to move just slightly. The
movement of the stepping stones was so slight, that it did not provide much a
challenge for kids beyond the age of 3 yrs.
However, much to my son’s delight, the first stepping stone was missing
and the challenge was perfect!</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVL1v9WNHfu9vpljSDLrjoqpJ1OneNl54FbtvzhPtbYR5ZkARVmG4ZwMmiyr-Oj6W_uOgfqiBnVB69i6OlSaQzuUt88RA4uOrq4dUE-Wdj495W6Eho85lc0IrI-CGblnSUmuzZ_G-17Hpe/s1600/2016-03-20+11.14.48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVL1v9WNHfu9vpljSDLrjoqpJ1OneNl54FbtvzhPtbYR5ZkARVmG4ZwMmiyr-Oj6W_uOgfqiBnVB69i6OlSaQzuUt88RA4uOrq4dUE-Wdj495W6Eho85lc0IrI-CGblnSUmuzZ_G-17Hpe/s320/2016-03-20+11.14.48.jpg" width="240" /></a><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Upon arriving at the park, my son felt
uncomfortable with the missing step and asked for help to get to the next step
in line. I moved it as close to him as I
could, but the stepping stones didn’t have much of a chain on either tether, so
it didn’t move much. He still had to
stretch his body to make the step. The
other stepping stones were really easy for him and he quickly sailed
across. The next time he crossed, he
didn’t ask for help. I watched him
stretch his body and take a little leap of faith at the end; trusting that he
would reach the next stepping stone as he released his grip and footing from
the platform. I wasn’t totally sure he
could do it myself, but I knew that he loves to leap across boulders on the escarpment
edge near our house; I knew I could trust his judgement about his limits. Sure enough, after a few more tries he had
mastered this missing step in the stepping stone poles and he was off to
explore something else.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Another family arrived to play and the
mother, seeing the missing stepping stone pole, told her daughter “I’ll help
you. This pole is missing; don’t try to
cross this section without my help.” The
daughter crossed with the mom’s help, but chose not to cross the stepping stone
poles again. I think I know why…</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYUWvPJZCKgUqkII-mnFzJFgVwhuA6Wo6AVnYeLj0SYsTMzKrKWYlZzYhrAhKWBebRCVIaEACAqh8toIosafXB1lI2w_zyiVaO9liM75RLyiaJJJmKiLs6Vxqa7XD3vbR6mwXQhPVffGuh/s1600/2016-03-20+11.08.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYUWvPJZCKgUqkII-mnFzJFgVwhuA6Wo6AVnYeLj0SYsTMzKrKWYlZzYhrAhKWBebRCVIaEACAqh8toIosafXB1lI2w_zyiVaO9liM75RLyiaJJJmKiLs6Vxqa7XD3vbR6mwXQhPVffGuh/s200/2016-03-20+11.08.13.jpg" width="200" /></a><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">More kids arrived at the park and a game of
playground tag ensued. My son eagerly
swung across the missing stepping stone pole and other kids practiced and
mastered the missing stepping stone pole too while the girl avoided the section
altogether. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The girl’s mother had been talking to
another parent but was now paying attention to the game. As my son approached the stepping stones she
yelled “Stop!” and rushed over to push the second stepping stone close to my
son for him to cross. Well, he did stop,
as did all the other children. My son
obliged and politely crossed the missing stepping stone with the mother’s help
but something else happened too…the kids all stopped playing their game of
tag. The element of danger, fun, and
learning, had disappeared with this mother’s seemingly conscientious
intervention. Such a small well-intentioned
gesture on her part, but such a huge impact on the flow of play and learning. This mother had a need for safety for the
children on the playground, but instead of addressing her need in a way that
was respectful of the children’s abilities, boundaries, and flow of play, she
put her need at the center of the play, unaware that they had already mastered
this “danger”.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a 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wqqtWpAz8TbfIzHzvTP8AjuzQxeuvzqhz9epXqra/Y3hnUai0JtrJCvXYqgrnb3YcZlen/a6sDTNqVay5K9dU17KHerxTWaXQ7lLbMWDG5doc7SOILvs9WdBp9WrEH7rfdclf7a20rqnrW3YzALUoCBmHb0PeV132MrDaimvVsbaPuZs8WhaqsamypB+0FhI2m1SfhxgTgk0dUU0Wv+1GmtuZL6msoaqgWstYrtuvodmSw7rHOWUmssWJ2tk8gTZ077YoVzbVtc3XW3KlXi16xHI202KLawFVcoAwcYwQAe+FvsQm5lGosQrqPuQ+86XwBbqmRzUKzvO6ssgUnuodSRzK6/7L/d6Xue/ha0Rl8Pka84/9T5vJdzFvIKeIozv4MfW+qm6rR0puVKdNXWycBTeHsLOADz8LKATzxO1pvtIqvpyyN4dfTadIvb/19UECvqq0DqGbjbu3K209xgCcHpGhF16UM4rLk1ozrwLiD4aPkjaC2FJ8tw4nV/8AG8KxtssDVUU3ammnT+LdU1zkV17C68hQrOTjbvUcmRiLc+TfT9pKPEus/ao3haZBbVUEa81M5c2ft/E3MGQZNhzt+IGC37U6fxbGSt1VtV1PUKoWtdi6rQilFwGxkPknH1mLWfZSxFyjNYfven0xVKHDIl2nW4PYmcow3YKHsQeYB0vTh+oac1sbNHpepE2+I6+LdVq1SqwIDhcISNvIPfmQnuJ1fqVY0lWNh1Woqqr1b1srhdPS37POPktsAq3j/wCnnG6N6V1+tdLXp2rYN4mrPjIF8TTeKlQV6SW7/s2DdjtJwwk/wSj/AB37jsPgfevC2GyzhfC3Y353d/eKp+zyp4i2XtivRDWtZVQLK7la2msChjYu8ZtILHbhlIx3hVfJGpdo0v14NX4JDeF/hCaMVkV7PviooF5XPkw4f5hiaL/tIBuepGJL6d9PTalQp6eK2BeupgSWVlBr+VPhYlsmZ7fs8FU2+LY1fhaO2sU6XxbyupRmTfV4mEA2EFtxBJAHeN/8Vw7IdUmK7X097iokVXs9a6dCN37/AIq5/Ca7RztzLPYV3l+kU1fV6fDsSjTlNlb0aMnw8103qv3gvg/PwwUjP/yk8Y5z9IsWjU6e0ZdKtRpbiQnhlgrVu6hWPcHcvfnbnzmXX6VqHFbHLrVU167dvgXONxpJydxAKgnj4sjym3pOkquSwWtZWaa7NVY1Z3/eNKrLvrCscV2gsoVvlIY5GVyY9qXDAnOTpro6lHVl31M4sv2XX2l7lpR6abdPZUaKgHYMAXD90X4BgDJitF1quiuumt70H3bqGne1ErRvEvdGrsCC3su0/vZGR+SOndJOo8NwXrGo1FtNCVVWaqvTBCq4vtZwyjkHOGOMtwOAhOgWOaMMdtnT7dcXWoslZRbz4W4Ng80qN2R8449anRctwOj6wVoytVuwqXUAbP2OrrQrW3xd1w2D/kQ4nVo6rtdzVWa1fT3htvh7xq9RdTZbZuz8iivYuORsBwCeOb9nOljVV6k71R0bQLUzuwUeLZarKFBAdm2qAD545HeadJ0xbPuoN1lbanVXaWpG0gzW9dlVYN37YFfitAIGSOfSBoEd1GqvqSl2YIwsbT6Wk3qN9wtqL+I2VsRiHBrBbeGPhrkEdmf4g6BytTUk68axxWtdO+rwqUNZXcfmKOSuSpLd4rQ6d1rRlba76a3VAikvQiViwlH1G8Yb9mc/DgEqpOTNGs0lmoIHjV/EA6WGtlFnTv2bPrD8XG3xACn8L88RPdY3J5KwK1l1iLtRrrmrXAGxGsYouBwMAgYEtoKcsW9D/OdHSChq3NlOFCbFbx7hqbr3VzWy07/DRQEywYEDGNzEymlq2qB3Pn9fOanj9N6sra4RyazP6UaXbHCWEAjFnpVwjz8nZZKiewljp2HlH02gRzX+8llDnK+jnEESKpPYR9rZiAcecJYm2jOOZXMrmEQl9EzJmTMGYQlgcYhsszKCHMhKAfL2II8iCDkEHyORLMxJDFmLAkgl2JBJySDnIJPMrmAyuUIvlpDKUlwmcjquqYKaFdlT95Vdgpb/ACg4zMPVep2X+Hv2ha6xVUlaLWlSZLEKo9WJYnuSZbqQG9gPX/uc5hPM6mt7Zt4eIpBGqsXbixxtVlUB2GxGzuUc8A5OQO+TC99jbybHO8KHyzHxAuCob8WMDGfQQeHmOpTE4pM6LFPq7bCniWu2zivfYzeGP4cn4ew7ek31OzqQzscu1jZZjmw93Oe7H17zG+n54j9MjZCqMknAA8yYExZWzcdVYbjfZttcubH8ZFsWxiDneuMHvnHrKX6602ve1r+K7s72KxR2ZjljlcYz6Dia30jV/Oyg+mckfWZb9MSeCD+cLyQrsRKTMh1li7tljru+fY7L4nOfiwfi59Ynxnyx3tlwwsO5s2Bjlgxz8QJ5Oe8e+lbPaU8EjuJz7y7axmnZ2cv4jb87t+9t+713ZzmXNrqNm5gACu3cwXBYMRtzjBIBx6gGO6cNrAiW6xczNg4xwe3biGE/dVklF1wJq1jowZbHUhQgK2OpCDgICDkL7dpRbzyFJ5ILBSRuIJIJA7kEkgn1iq6B9frNldUu3CURbnyx+L4jufLH42yTlufiOSTk+pjxc3oeVKnB7qcZU4PI4HHtKtXCiZ/7xEcmxqQRfYocKGUPw4DFVcejAHDfnAttoXZ4hVfiIVbHABYYY4XjkEg+sowOeYq2yFKQNyJ4u0FSeDjOCcNg5GR54ycek2ValmIZnYkNuBLsSrEglgSeDlVOfYek5YQkzdpqyBxLvjkq7fB0qM7SgJ2lgdgJ2k/iK9ifeaekVg24PICsp3E7QhOSuO20k5x2zMOns8sc4wJ1tDWD8GMZ5+HHxN9fScuWLj0WwlfZfXaQ7msHKlt+AflbBGcfRiM+5mYGbrM1NyMr2JJzn3idVUvzp2PcfhP+k2PEa5RSwz4+n9nFr9Lu/wDWHP2voSDLqYqWBnozFaNH5ysqrQlvaErohgMqTBmQZIQwlSZJIqZciEyBpJIyDRC0OZJISUW3cQY4gkisB57qFOGPOfP9ZiVeZJJ5jVKptG1gdxQ9EjRVJJM5nSbdH042HGQP1nQKLp1OwZbGC7dx/l9JJJy5JvdRZFHIVN5yT3l/C95JIknzQyQ0Jx3xwe31mQj/AFkkkXyMx2l+YRnUly35CSSND+VEl+DMoGDNKGSSd66OQLPK7z34x6GCSKxlyZ7riSe0XUCxxJJLV0Vtc0baacHE0CSSFck6C/l+WJ0umaz4hx5YkkjZIL07Fv3UdLqKeKMdiBmcmrXlGK4BHYjHBEkk4oL4OnGy9vGCOxGRnygDQST2GhnKeCLlyzC1UFHLJIsGli0kk7UctE3yynMkkjAz/9k=" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I’d like to relate this idea of needs to
learning for a moment. Some people
wonder why I feel so strongly about self-directed learning. Why wouldn’t I want to choose the things my
child is learning or find fun ways to guide them in the direction I think they
need to grow? Because if I were to
direct my son’s learning, I would be fulfilling my needs, not his. I would be tricking or manipulating him to
learn what I think he should, to match my vision of the world or to appease my
fears. The world we live in is intensely
competitive, I understand why parents want to teach their children what they
think will give them a “leg up”. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Children play because it is the most
engaging and appealing way to learn. When
adults try to direct </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">play or learning, the child is not pursuing learning for
their own benefit. They are trying to please
the adults they love and that takes away from their own self-awareness and
ability to “learn how to learn”. I don’t
want my son to learn out of shame, guilt, or fear…nor do I want him to play in
ways that suit my vision of his abilities or disabilities. I want him to; pursue the things that
interest him, to recognize his limits and ask for help when there is a gap that
feels too big to overcome himself, and to approach new challenges with delight
and interest. He cannot do that without
a certain amount of trust and freedom on my part. Without me being aware of my own fears and
needs, I won’t be able to provide the trust he needs to find his limits and
challenge himself in the ways that are most meaningful to him. The world is changing at such a rate, that I
truly believe this is the best way for me to prepare him for the future. I really do my best to trust that he will
learn what he needs to learn, when he is ready to learn it, to get himself
where he wants to go. </span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I really believe the best gift we can give
our children is our own self-awareness and the best learning and play environments
are those filled with available, self-aware adults. The next time you are at a playground, observe
the adults. Are the adults coaching their child about how to interact because they don’t want their
child to struggle with potential rejection or avoid their own embarrassment (at the expense of the child learning firsthand the nuances of playground socialization). Are they directing their child’s activities in an effort to “push” them
to achieve a goal that they value? Or do they give space for the child to discover the world at their own pace? Do they have the patience to watch and intervene when requested? I know which parent I'm striving to be!</span></span></div>
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