Am I special also? - City School

It was our first pop up session at City School on Friday.  I was really nervous beforehand and it was a great relief that the day was peaceful and fairly easy to navigate.   (The conflicts and arguments will come later when they are more comfortable!)  

I was feeling that relief as we tidied up at the end of the day and reflecting internally as I did my work. I was thankful that I got to spend time with so many interesting, lovable humans!  In fact, I was thinking this when a parent arrived to pick up his son.  I said with sincerity, “I really enjoyed my time today with D.  He’s such a special kid!”

My son happened to see my face as I said this.  He must have recognized that this was a heartfelt statement.  There was no BS here.  I truly felt love for this kid!  He pulled my arm and whispered to me “Am I special also?”

Oh goodness!  I think he must have felt a pang of jealousy or insecurity and he wanted reassurance!  It must be so hard for him to share his mom in this way!

I swooped him into my arms for a surprise hug and kiss and whispered, “I love to spend my time with you.  You are *MY* special kid!” then I gave him another quick kiss.  He giggled.  Was the giggling an expression of relief that he is special in my eyes?  Embarrassment that his mom is giving him kisses publicly?  Or was it just the spontaneity of it all?

Anyway, he was fine so I went back to cleaning and saying goodbye to parents. 

That night, as I was putting away laundry.  He followed me into the bedroom and was doing flips on the bed.  He wanted to be close and he wanted to talk.  After discussing Minecraft materials for a bit he said;

“The kids seemed to like City School, eh Mumma?”

“Ya, I thought so!  Even the kids who had parents who left for a while seemed pretty comfortable.  Those are the ones I try to connect with most actually, the ones that have parents who leave for a while.  I want those kids to know that I see them with the same love and softness that their own parents have for them. I want them to feel safe and understood, even when their parents aren’t there.  I would like this City School to be a place where kids feel loved all the time. I would like kids to feel heard and to be trusted.”

“Ya. I like to feel those things.  I’d like other kids to feel that way when they are with us too.”

Then he went back to doing flips and talking about whatever was on his mind and I think I got his permission to love all the kids who join us at City School.